Heartbeat Lies
by Rainbowkittyblossomwings
Summary: When will Kululu learn from his mistakes? He's made a bet that he will bring his girlfriend to a tech convention. Problem: he has no girlfriend. Solution? Pretending to date someone. The only one available however is Angol Mois. Shenanigans ensue. Fake Dating trope. Kurumois.
1. Proposition

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the sgt frog characters.**

 **Yesss... Finally I'm writing a fluffy Kurumois story that will focus on relationship building. I've always wanted to write one of these, but I've never actually done it.**

 **I know I was going to write an AU before this, but I decided to write this instead, using the popular fake dating trope of "Character A has to pretend that they're dating Character B." Only this gave me enough of a plot to write fluff.**

 **I hope you all like it. As you know it's going to be hugely kurumois. I'm not very experienced with fluff or relationship stuff, so I would love some tips.**

 **Currently this story will be 19 chapters, but that's subject to change since I got pretty lazy in my chapter summary. There will be two arcs.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Clickity-clack, clack.

The sound of keys being pressed on a computer echoed in Kululu's lab as he typed a boring report for his captain about his latest invention. He knew Keroro would never actually read his report, but he was required to write it anyway.

 _THE CAPTAIN IS A DUMBASS,_ Kululu wrote in big letters in the middle of his document. Immature perhaps, yes, but he was testing to see if Keroro would catch it.

He knew he wouldn't.

"Ku, ku, ku. The Captain will be like, ' _Oh Kululu, this invention is brilliant, that's why I'm going to trash it in a new record of two minutes, wasting all your hard work.'_ " Kululu tried to mimic Keroro's voice.

Although Keroro's idiocy was sometimes hilarious, when it did not benefit him it quickly got old.

When he had been called up to work for the Keroro Platoon shortly after his demotion from his rank as a major to invade the unconquerable planet Pekopon, he had been rather optimistic. Perhaps things were finally looking up for him, he'd thought. He had heard and seen great things of Keroro. Sergeant Keroro was always beating tough monsters and he had even won the Keron Star competition. To be in his platoon on the front lines had been a great honor. At the time, he had even hoped that conquering Pekopon would get back his rank as a major.

Alas, life wasn't like that on Pekopon. Keroro was the dictionary definition of incompetent.

 _I need a vacation,_ Kululu moaned to himself. This wasn't what he had imagined his life to be like. Sure, he was proud of some things he did, like his reputation as the most dislikable guy. But he had imagined being a jerk to actually _important_ people. Not boring teenagers and incompetent platoon mates who could ruin their own lives by just sheer accident. People like Giroro didn't need him to ruin their lives. The universe did it for them.

Kululu turned to his calendar, glancing at it on the wall. He actually had a vacation coming up, a very important one, in fact. Well, not really a vacation, but an event that he was invited to that would serve as a vacation away from his awful platoon mates.

Circled on his calendar and scrawled in tiny chicken scratch were the words TEC.

Kululu grinned. The TEC, or Technology Entrepreneur Convention, was an important date coming up, and a big event in the universe that thousands of inventors and businessman attended in attempts to market themselves.

It only happened once every one hundred Pekoponian years, and Kululu had only been to five of them. But they were the perfect opportunity to get away from his platoon on a business trip, and find clients that might hire him for a more respectable career and pay him the money that Keroro was seeping away from him. It was his chance to get away from all this stress and endless task of invading this planet.

Plus, they were really fun. It was rewarding to show off his inventions and not have them destroyed in a stupid invasion plot.

And due to that, Kululu was excited for the trip, despite a lot of people attending that he didn't really like or get along with, and promises and bets he had made against them that he hadn't fulfilled.

Anything to be away from his platoon. Anything was better than Pekopon.

* * *

"You ever been to that tech entrepreneur con, Kululu?" Keroro asked while sticking out his tongue and playing with a Gundam model instead of do anything important. Kululu assumed he was sticking out his tongue to catch his brain if it fell out.

 _Oh Captain. Don't worry. You HAVE no brain that could fall out!_ Kululu thought to himself.

"Yes," Kululu responded quickly. He didn't really want to make small talk with Keroro.

"It's for tech nerds, right? All sorts of cool inventions are there, and aliens come from all over the universe. And I heard it's super high-quality. All the con goers even get to stay in a big fancy hotel!" Keroro went on. "That sounds so much fun!"

"Please tell me you aren't going," Kululu begged. He had already submitted his paperwork for this vacation and had begun packing up some of his favorite inventions. Most everyone there already knew him, and they'd probably think he hadn't had any new inventions to show off if he didn't come just because his captain was going.

"No. You need an invite to get in... or a ton of money. Or too mooch off of someone invited and go with them. Also looking at various inventions seems really boring." Keroro yawned. "You going?"

Kululu plopped his paperwork in front of Keroro. "Yep," he grinned. "Been getting invites for the last five years straight. Ku, ku, ku. Most of them may hate me, but they can't deny how smart I am."

Keroro frowned as he looked at Kululu's paperwork. "You'll be gone a month? Well... have fun, I suppose." To Keroro, the trip sounded like Nerd Paradise. It was something he certainly wasn't interested in at all. It might be hard to not have an intelligence officer around, but it wasn't like they were making much progress on the invasion anyway.

"Knock everybody's socks off! If they have socks, that is! You're a representative of the Keroro Platoon, after all," Giroro told him. "Make Keron proud." He didn't realize that Kululu only cared about his reputation and not his platoon's.

"Awww... thanks, Giroro." Kululu faked a blush. "I didn't know you cared about my reputation."

"I don't. I care about ours. And our reputation rests on you. You're our representative... Oh dear, that convention is going to think we're a bunch of jerks, aren't we?" Giroro realized. He felt bad.

"Yep. Or feel sorry for you. Ku, ku, ku. I would prefer the pity - that way they won't think you're on my level." Kululu smiled. He was a one-of-a-kind, jerk till the end. Or at least he liked to think of himself as that.

* * *

Kululu packed for his trip, minorly excited about seeing all the old faces of the tech fair. Oh, how mad they would be to see him, still as successful and glorious as he had been the first day he had marched into those conventions. He had done something personal and jerky to almost every single one of them.

He was hated, but he loved it.

Well, mostly. There had been one guy who had gotten under his nerves last time. Someone of the Poyon race named Zhuang. He hadn't been that successful at the time, but he had something that Kululu had never had, popularity and charisma.

Usually it was hard to get under Kululu's skin, but the guy had just bragged so much and Kululu had taken the stupid bait. He frowned as he thought back on it, and the promises he had eagerly agreed to as a bet, not wanting to believe for a moment that he really wasn't as cool as he thought.

 _The deadline to that bet is coming up. And I didn't do it. I'm going to come there empty-handed and as they promised... I'll be made a laughing stock._ Usually, he usually wouldn't have cared. He enjoyed suffering, but he was more adept at handling physical pain than being laughed at for being pathetic.

But what hurt him was that he _was_ pathetic. He had failed at acquiring what he had promised to acquire - a girlfriend.

 _Damn,_ he thought. _No way am I going to let myself be made a laughing stock._ He wouldn't let that stupid Poyon get the upper-hand on him. No way.

His excitement waned at getting away from his platoon, as he realized he'd have to deal with another very annoying bunch of people.

* * *

 **100 Years Ago, At the Tech convention**

It was the fourth annual tech convention that Kululu attended, and although he liked being able to talk to people who seemed to function at his level of thinking, he was also younger and way too prideful.

One of the things he hated about Keron was, back there, super geniuses were about a dime a dozen. They were high in demand, and high in being produced and cloned, as well. But when he had been scouted by the military at a very young age and made into a Major, he knew he was different than the other geniuses. He was better.

And even though now he was a Sergeant Major, thanks to being demoted, he still had a sense of pride around him. Like he was better than everyone else. Even if he was in a convention filled with super-geniuses.

And unlike some people, he had fact to back that claim up. He showed off many inventions, but never really explained how he had made them. He made the price ten times what the invention was worth, and very rarely a sucker would come along and be so enamored by his unreplacatible inventions that they would pay the money up front and buy a copy.

It was a nice tech fair, and Kululu always took the opportunity to point out the flaws in his competitors' devices. If there was a faulty wire, he knew about it. If the design was stupid, he'd point it out. Especially if this was their first tech fair.

He'd crush their dreams.

That was until a Poyon guy came along to his table to check out his invention.

The poyon seemed out of place, dressed in professional but highly cheap clothes, he had this sort of suave atmosphere around him. A kind, optimistic smile was on his face, like he had some sort of pathetic dream. His hair was spiky blue, like he was trying to get in good with cool kids and had gelled it way too much.

"What does it do?" he asked Kululu, looking at one of his devices that seemed to interest him. It was the one at the front of Kululu's display table.

"This one?" Kululu asked. "This one's one of my best inventions. Nobody's been able to replicate it ever, so if you want one you'll have to directly get it from the source, me. It lets you control people's dreams and sub-conscious thoughts. So let's say you've got an employee who keeps slacking off, you can input commands into his brain to make him more successful. Or you could control your enemies. I like that one best. Ku, ku, ku," Kululu gloated.

The poyon's eyes glistened as he listened closely and rubbed his chin. It looked like he was trying to grow a small goatee. "What does it run on?"

"Excuse me?" Kululu asked.

"What's it's energy source?" the poyon asked.

"Nuclear energy and electricity. Something with this power requires a lot of power to run. It requires many rare materials to keep on, which are no longer found naturally since the planets they were found on are now gone," Kululu explained. That was the only way he had figured out how to make it work. It wasn't easy to control people's minds, after all. It required a lot of power. "So, you interested in buying?"

"Nah, the upkeep seems too strenuous. And I'm not really into the whole nuclear energy thing. Nice to meet you, though." The poyon tried to shake his hand. Kululu didn't take his handshake. He spit on his own hand and slapped the poyon's hand away, carefully getting his saliva all over the guy's bare hand. He was a disgusting jerk, after all.

"Name's Zhuang. Yours?" the poyon greeted. He wiped his hand off on a handkerchief.

"Kululu. Don't go forgetting it now," he told him.

Zhuang smiled. "I hope to see more of your work in the future, Kululu."

* * *

He saw a lot of Zhuang around the convention that month. Zhuang was constantly looking at the invention that he had asked about. Everytime Kululu asked if he wanted to buy it, though, Zhuang refused saying he'd "think about it."

By the end of the convention, Kululu saw him again, when everyone was preparing to show off their best invention in a presentation. Kululu had plans to sabotage everyone's projects, just for the heck of it, having inserted a powerful virus into the network that any technology would pick up. All he needed was a broadcasting source.

Eventually, he had found his broadcasting source and the piece of technology that would ruin everything... until he saw was Zhuang was carrying in a cart.

In Zhuang's cart was a replica of his exact invention. He must have stolen the design and worked on how to replicate it! That was why he had seemed so interested in it.

 _Nobody steals my work. NOBODY,_ Kululu thought to himself. Sneaking up to Zhuang's invention that he was carting around, Kululu inserted a small chip that he had for emergencies, just in case he found someone that had copied his work. (He'd come prepared, being egotistical as he was.) Luckily, it had the broadcasting code for his virus in it, too. He connected it to the device.

This would destroy all of Zhuang's hard work. It looked like he had only made one, a prototype, but Kululu was still mad.

 _I'll take it down. You aren't getting the credit for my device,_ Kululu thought to himself.

When Zhuang got to the front of the stage, he put his copy of Kululu's invention on a table. "Hello, my name is Zhuang. I might not have started out like the rest of you. I came from humble beginnings and have worked as hard as I can to get to where I am today and be a good businessman. I almost gave up several times, but I kept on trying. I even bought a ticket into this convention to try to find some good inventions for my company that could benefit the whole world... No, the whole universe! And that's why I want to show you a machine that can make everyone successful by changing their very thoughts."

Kululu leaned into the back of his chair and grinned as Zhuang tried to show off the copy of Kululu's invention.

"It's efficient, and it runs on clean energy, the sun. It won't harm anyone, so it's good for the environment." Zhuang had changed it to be better, something that Kululu hated.

Kululu frowned. _Screw this. I'm in a bad mood. Time to stop marketing myself and be the jerk till the end that I was meant to be,_ he thought. He quickly plugged in a command for his virus so everybody would know it was him who had done it and he could get the credit for ruining Zhuang's dreams.

Nobody found a way to make his inventions better. Nobody.

"Now, I'm going turn it on..." Zhuang tried to turn it on, but instead of broadcasting happy successful thoughts like he inputted, instead a small Kululu head sprung out of the invention.

"Self destruction in 10 seconds. Ku, ku, ku! That's what you get, you thief!" the head said. Everybody panicked and Zhuang ran off the stage.

It was too late, though, and while the ten second timer was going down, a spark flew between invention to invention, infecting all of them with the same virus. They all exploded one after the other, tiny Kululu heads holographically popping up and laughing before destroying someone's hard work.

Zhuang screamed as everybody looked at their own inventions and cried. He was frightened that he would be charged for damage.

On the projector, Kululu's face appeared, the virus having infected it last. "Ku, ku, ku. Nobody tries to make a fool of Kululu. But don't worry, I don't discriminate, now you've ruined the convention for everybody because my virus infected all of their tech, too... even their personal laptops! Ku, ku, ku! I'm a jerk till the end. Don't go forgetting it."

Everybody's heads turned to Kululu, glaring. Kululu smiled - god, did he love those glares.

"Now, everybody who blames me for the destruction of their property, I have something to tell you. Nothing you can do about it, ku, ku ku! I'm just smarter than you! You should have put better security in your devices!" The picture of Kululu on the projector laughed.

"You can't just blame someone for not having good security and saying their stuff deserved to be destroyed!" Zhuang tried to talk back to the screen.

"Only one thing to say to that. Kiss my ass." Everybody shielded their eyes as the screen changed to a picture of Kululu's butt. They all groaned. They didn't want to see this.

Kululu usually did little terrible things, but this was a pretty large scale, literally. Almost everybody's inventions (except his) had been ruined.

Zhuang was crying. This had been when he was going to make his big break!

"Ku, ku, ku, that's what you get for being a thief," Kululu told him. Everybody looked pretty down at the convention being ruined for all.

"It's all right, Zhuang." A girl put her hand on Zhuang's arm, approaching him as he cried at the bottom of the stage. "You can try again next time. He's a miserable little monster who wants to destroy innovation that will help millions," the female poyon reassured Zhuang. "You'll become successful, and your company will become widely known."

"I may be a monster, but I'm smarter than you! Ku!" Kululu pointed out.

"Don't listen to him. These conventions are probably the only time he gets any happiness in his life. He doesn't look like he has many people in his life, especially with that attitude," the girl told Zhuang. "You're worth a million of him."

Zhuang nodded. "Thanks Katie, you're the best." Kululu was shocked as he watched Zhuang's mood change in a matter of seconds. The poyon girl had managed to completely cheer him up!

"Of course I am. That's why you married me," Katie giggled. Kululu realized she must have been his wife.

 _That's not true. I have more happiness in my life than these conventions. I get to be a jerk to people at work, too!_ Kululu thought to himself. But slowly, as he watched Zhuang interact with his wife, he became jealous and realized how pathetic that was.

People chattered all around Kululu, seeing the affectionate displayed between Zhuang and Katie. Zhuang getting over the disaster of the destruction of his invention seemed to cheer them up, too.

"That's right, he probably does have no life. I mean... our inventions might be trashed right now, but at least we have people who care about us who can cheer us up," someone muttered.

"At least we have lives," another person added.

"I do too have a life!" Kululu defended himself. "I experience amazing happiness everyday being a jerk to various co-workers."

"How pathetic. There's no one out there who cares about him. He's going to be a lonely miser forever," another group of people muttered.

Kululu frowned. He would not let the convention end like this! He wasn't going to be the one everybody made fun of.

"I... I have something better than people who care about me. I'm intelligent!" he defended. He hated how much they had gotten to the truth. He didn't like them saying things way too close to home.

"Everybody here is intelligent. It's nothing special," they pointed out.

Kululu frowned. He got angrier and angrier as they pitied him and talked about how pathetic he was. He began arguing, trying to defend himself, but everybody felt they were just better than him. Stuff might have been damaged, but their loved ones were with them, ready to cheer them up, just like Zhuang and Katie.

"I feel sorry for you. The only joy you ever get is from jerking people around. You don't have anybody to care about you." Zhuang didn't want to care about Kululu, but he did feel better at how angry Kululu was at the truth. He just shook his head.

"I could be more popular and more loved than you easily!" Kululu argued, "After all, all you have is the ability to copy other people. I'm original, unlike you."

"I didn't mean any offense by copying your invention. I just wanted to make it better. If you didn't want to be copied, don't show people your work," Zhuang defended, using Kululu's same sort of logic. "And I can't see you ever being more popular than me. You don't have anything, no friends to support you, not an amazing wife like I do, not even a girlfriend," he scolded.

"I may not have that yet, but I bet I could get one. Yeah. I could easily get a girlfriend, if that's why you think I'm not as good as you. Something that obviously isn't true, because who's the guy with a steady job, income and more intelligence? It's me." Kululu pointed at himself. "But if you want to be shown up in that category too, I'd love to prove you wrong. I can easily get a girlfriend and she'll be way cooler than your wife. Way better. You'll be so jealous and you won't be able to copy her. And then you'll cry, but your wife will think it's so pathetic that she won't even comfort you. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu mostly wasn't even thinking about what he said. He was just so mad about everybody thinking he was lonely and pathetic. He had been sucked into the argument.

"Oh really?" Zhuang was intrigued. He decided to humor Kululu and his outburst. "Why don't we make a non-threatening bet, then. I'm sure all us would be willing to pitch in. If you manage to bring this girlfriend that you 'can easily get,' we'll all respect you. We won't ever tease you again about how lonely and pathetic you are and we'll all agree not to copy your work. And... we'll consider buying some of your inventions. Maybe even some of us might try to hire you, because you're able to interact positively with people, as you'll have proven." Zhuang looked around. "Is everybody willing to do that?"

They nodded, snickering

"And if I don't get a girlfriend?" Kululu asked, he was determined to prove Zhuang wrong.

"Then you have to bow to each one of us, and kiss our feet. And some of us have some extremely smelly feet," Zhuang laughed. "And we have permission to laugh at your lonely pathetic life for all eternity."

Kululu didn't even consider the fact that he was going to make no effort whatsoever to get one. He was just so prideful. "Deal." If Zhuang could get married, that copycat, he could certainly get a girlfriend without even trying.

His intense ego told him he could. So he shook Zhuang's hand for the first time to signify the bet.

"See you next time!" Zhuang laughed.

* * *

Kululu gulped as he thought about it. At the time, he had thought that a girlfriend would just sort of land in his presence, and that he'd be very popular.

He had made no effort whatsoever to win the pathetic bet, but now the time was coming up, and he'd have to confess that he had lost. That he was as pathetic as they had seen him.

He stopped packing various things in his suitcase. _Darn. This isn't going to be nearly as fun as I thought._ He needed the respect. He needed a good job offer if he ever wanted to get away from Keroro.

He couldn't afford to lose this bet, but the fact was pretty clear that he had been speaking out of anger and he didn't have a girlfriend.

He didn't want to be laughed at and bow and kiss people's feet. That would be pathetic. His reputation would be ruined.

 _What am I going to do?_ he wondered. He thought for a moment. The problem was pretty clear. He needed a girlfriend. The solution was to get one, but he didn't know how to get one.

It wasn't like there was a girlfriend store out there or something.

"Ku, ku, ku! What am I thinking? It's not like I have to get a real girlfriend! I don't care enough about what they said to actually do that. All I need to do is make them feel bad about themselves and feel like I've beaten them. I need to pretend to have a girlfriend. I need to fake it." He didn't have any problem with faking having a girlfriend. Lying was one of his specialties.

However, he had to actually _bring_ a girlfriend, so he'd have to choose who to ask to fake it with him. It wasn't like he could make a robot, after all. That would look more pathetic.

Out of the girls he knew on Pekopon, most of them were Pekoponian, and it might look pretty pathetic if he brought a Pekoponian girlfriend. It wouldn't reflect well on his platoon, a Keronian falling in love with a Pekoponian and dating her.

He didn't need to be the next Giroro.

 _So that means that I have to ask an alien to help me out._ And out of the female aliens he saw on a daily basis, there was only really one.

Kululu frowned. _Angol Mois._ Kululu let out a sharp intake of breath. He was not looking forward to this at all. But it was clear that if he was going to fake having a girlfriend, she was pretty much his only option.

Of course, a cute girl like her would probably benefit his status quite a bit. It would totally kick the butt of Zhuang's pathetic wife.

Actually, Mois's status could probably kick anybody's butt. How many people got the opportunity to say that they were dating the Lord of Terror?

Kululu frowned deeply in thought. It would benefit him a lot, bringing Mois as his fake date, but getting her to agree was a whole other matter. He really didn't want to be asking favors and letting her know of the pathetic situation he was in. But he needed her, so it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

* * *

He tried to approach her while she was working on some finances for work. He tried not to be too awkward about it, but he couldn't help but have a small stutter in his voice.

"S-so... I'm going to a huge technology convention for about a month," he started out. His legs were shaking. He tried to steady himself by holding onto his chair.

 _You can do this, Kululu. You're just trying to ask your biggest weakness and fear to fake date you for about a month so you can rub how much better you pretend to be in a bunch of people's faces. Man... geez I am pathetic,_ Kululu thought to himself. Pretending to date Angol Mois... his biggest fear and weakness in the whole universe. It couldn't be _that_ hard, right?

But getting out the words were sure hard.

"Yeah. I heard about that from Uncle. I hope you have lots of fun! It sounds amazing. I mean, not nearly as cool as Angol's festivals of destruction where you hit planets against each other like pinballs, but still really fun," Mois giggled. She loved her planetary destruction.

Kululu grinned. "That does sound a lot more fun than what I'm going to," he agreed. How he wished he could have gone to that instead. Sounded like a blast. Literally, too. "Anyway..." He swallowed and took a deep breath. He just had to ask it fast and get it out. "Want to be my date?"

Mois sputtered, keyboard-smashing accidentally - probably ruining the finances for at least a week. "Umm... Uhh... I'm sorry, you could say, did I just mishear you?" She took her hands off the keyboard and brought them up to her face, covering it a little bit to hide how completely pink she was.

Kululu looked at how confused and embarrassed she looked. What was wrong? _Oh... I haven't explained why I NEED a date yet. Crap, got the words out a little too fast._ He tried not to blush, too, at how awkward the situation was and how she pretty much thought he was asking her out.

"I didn't mean it like that!" he denied.

"Oh." breathed a sigh of relief, her blush fading from her cheeks. "Wh-what...What did you mean then?" She seemed awfully embarrassed at her misinterpretation of the situation.

Kululu sighed. The only way to get this out was to be honest. And it was the only way someone like her would understand. "I... I got in a fight the last convention I went to. There was this guy who tried to one-up me by stealing my invention and making it better. I managed to ruin his presentation and the new prototype of my tech that he had made, but we, well... We ended up arguing a lot, and one thing led to another and he started implying things about me that I felt offended by. That he was better than me because he had this stupid wife that cheered him up. I... unfortunately got a little too worked up about what he said and tried to explain to him that I wasn't as lonely and miserable as he implied, and that I had just as good of a life as him outside of these conventions and just being a jerk to people. Since it wasn't true at the time, he managed to wrangle me into a bet which I staked my pride on that I wouldn't be able to bring a girlfriend, one that I said I could easily get, to the next convention. So basically I said I'd bring my girlfriend to this convention, but I do not have one because I don't care enough about this stupid bet to change my lifestyle," he explained. "Of course, however do care about my pride and won't lose this stupid thing even though I do not have a girlfriend... So... that's where dating you comes in." He pointed to her.

"You want me to date you so you'll win a bet?" Angol Mois furrowed her brow, feeling a little offended.

"Ku! Hell no!" he laughed. "I want you to _pretend_ to be dating me," he corrected. "I want you to fake being my girlfriend." He gulped, realizing how stupid it sounded. Mois would not agree, there was nothing she got out of it.

She stared at him blankly.

He'd have to beg. "Please," he asked. He needed that job and to impress these people. He didn't want to be on Pekopon forever. "I'll make you any invention you can put your mind to. I'll make you that video game you want with the weird... I mean cute, I really meant cute... animals destroying the planet. I'll take you to a stupid rom-com movie. Even the Notebook! I'll do anything, just please..." Kululu begged.

Mois cut him off. "You don't need to bribe me. I'll do it."

"What?" Kululu was shocked. "Why?"

"I don't need anything in return to help a friend. I'm just happy to help," she said with a smile.

Kululu's eyes widened. He had underestimated Mois's kind attitude, like always. And the way she said "friend..." well, it sort of made him happy. But not the good sort of happy, that sort of mushy terrible feeling that only Mois could conjure in him. That sort of suffocating happiness that he hated from her.

He tried not to let himself grin a bit, and instead turned away from her, sub-consciously smiling a bit. She was a nice person. A nice, terrifying person.

 _And she called me her friend..._ Kululu swatted away those thoughts. No time to feel mushy, those mushy feelings were terrible. He was sure they would kill him someday.

"Also, that technology convention does sound really fun. You're not the only one who really likes seeing cool inventions." She smiled at him. "You could say, sneaking in?"

Now, Kululu didn't hide his smiling. This wouldn't be as bad as he first thought. At least, he could geek out about various tech stuff with her. "You could have probably got in on your own. I mean, you're pretty smart," he complimented. "But hey, if you want to use me to get in because of my invite, I don't mind. Ku, ku, ku."

"And, I mean, this is a special opportunity to learn more about you! About how you interacted with people before I met you! That's going to be really fun! You could say, learn about the old, in with the new?" she said.

This time, he _did_ feel like dying. That was part of her motivation? She wanted to know more about him? She really did consider him a friend, enough to be curious about other aspects of his life outside of just her.

She was gold. She was way too amazing and pure. Her motivations were blinding.

She was terrifying with her pure friendship and offer to help. She hadn't even considered not doing it for a moment - she had answered in a heart-beat.

Kululu handed her a train ticket. "We'll be leaving tomorrow, then," he told her carefully, trying not to die from her purity. "You'll need to pack. I can finish the finances while you do that."

Mois nodded. "Thanks!" She took her train ticket and nodded happily.

He collapsed in his chair as soon as she was gone. She didn't need to see how completely her words of kindness destroyed him and made him into a mushy happy mess.

 _Ick. Pure feelings,_ he thought to himself. How was he going to survive this month? A month pretending to date Mois, and she'd probably stare at him a lot.

He just needed to be determined. He didn't know how bad this would blow up in his face yet, after all.

* * *

"Mois's coming with me, so she'll be gone too," Kululu quickly told the platoon so they wouldn't wonder about her absence.

"Huh?" Keroro asked looking up from his Gundam model. "Why do you need to take her?"

"To show off my inventions! Ku, ku, ku. It always helps to sell them when a pretty girl is holding them up. Haven't you seen any infomercials? Game shows? There's always a pretty girl holding the brief case filled with a million dollars or the weird cheetos knock off," Kululu pointed out. "I don't know why it makes people pay more, but it does. So I need her."

Tamama's eyes widened. "You mean... that woman is going to be gone a full month... away from Mr. Sergeant and just with you?"

"Yes?" Kululu didn't know where Tamama was getting at. Had he figured out that he was taking Mois as his date? Tamama wasn't that smart, but he was that determined to have Mois be with anyone that wasn't Keroro.

"WOO-HOO!" Tamama cheered. He ran up to Kululu and hugged him. "Kululu, you are my hero!" He just celebrated. He hadn't figured out anything. "That means it'll be just me and Mr. Sergeant... Hehehe... My dangerous love affair is about to begin."

Keroro's Gundam broke. He hadn't been listening, but a strange premonition that something was about to change went up his spine. That, or he was chilled. He wasn't sure. But he felt like someone was talking about him. Like, right next to him.

"Please... take her for many more months. You go, Kululu!" Tamama cheered. "If you find a trash can... just saying... Nobody would be mad if you left her in there." Tamama slipped him a wad of cash and winked.

Kululu frowned. Tamama was always a little over the top, but at least none of his platoon mates were trying to convince Mois _out_ of spending time with him.

They probably assumed this would cause Kululu more harm than her.

And honestly, he could see where they were coming from.

 _Hopefully this isn't as painful as I assume it will be._ Kululu had to live. For his pride.

Fake dating, his greatest fear... Would it really be that hard?

Kululu already knew the answer. It definitely would be. And Mois would probably be totally perfect at it and suffocatingly pure and by the end of it he'd either be dead, or a pure monster.

He preferred death.

 _But I suppose there's only one way to find out._ So he left his platoon and headed off to Mois's room to get her and head for the train station.

They hadn't yet started their pretense yet. But Kululu was scared for when it did begin.

* * *

 **Please review! I would love your tips and all about writing fluff. I hope this was a good first chapter. And I hope you all enjoyed it.**


	2. Hand-holding

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Credit to my sister for editing and for helping me figure out a summary. Also for the picture, that I took from her comic. It has nothing to do with the story. Don't let it lie. There is no Angol Mois doll. Sorry. I just needed a picture.**

 **My sister didn't like the title, "Heartbeat lies" I just word mangled. Too bad for her. The title is here now. I can not change it.**

 **Also credit to her for making TEC, and abbreviating what I had originally. Smart move, sis. Thank you.**

 **Last we see of the platoon for a while. I've since realized that I don't think I mentioned Dororo at all in this chapter or the last one. My bad. But...Also kind of realistic?**

* * *

"LADY MOIS!" Keroro screamed in the doorway of the Hinata House. Angol Mois and Kululu's bags were packed and ready to set off to go to the space train. Keroro was still dealing with the hard loss of the person who helped him the most with his chores, and actually doing any activity that adults required to function.

"UNCLE!" Mois screamed like she was in a soap opera. They were right in front of each other, yet they still out-stretched their arms as if waiting to slowly fly into each other like the ending of some rom-com.

"Lady Mois!" Keroro screamed again.

"Uncle!"

"Guys, you've been screaming each other's names for the last ten minutes," Giroro pointed out. "Shouldn't you be heading to the train already?" Even he was getting impatient for Mois to be gone.

Tamama was just storming around in the back of the house, blowing holes into all the walls. Boy, Natsumi would be in for a surprise when she came back.

"Just a few more moments. I still have to complete my heartfelt good-byes," Keroro insisted. "Someone might film it passing by and then I could be a famous movie actor!" His eyes sparkled.

Kululu just rolled his eyes. He had long since tuned the two of them out. Honestly he liked mentally putting words to their lip movements instead of listening to the two words that they were repeating over and over again.

 _This is not going to be fun. I mean, I expected her to have a long good-bye with the Captain and all, but seriously, ten minutes? They haven't even reached the good-bye part yet!_ Kululu tried to keep himself patient. They were in no rush to miss the train. He had told Keroro and Mois specifically that the train was leaving two hours before it was planned to leave because of their tendency for long good-byes.

"You have an anti-barrier on! Nobody's going to film you!" Giroro hit Keroro gently on the head.

"Awww..." Keroro frowned. He then turned to Angol Mois to scream at her again.

Kululu just yawned. "You'll see her in a month! She'll be fine. It's not like I'm going to murder her or anything."

"But...But what if the time with Kululu will make you mutate into him?" Keroro shivered. "You'll come back with spiral glasses! Just you wait!"

Mois shook her head. She didn't like pointing out things that Keroro said were wrong, but she felt the need to. "I... I don't think that's how it works. I mean, spending a huge amount of time with someone doesn't really like make you into them."

"Ku! She's right. I mean, she's nothing like you, after all," said Kululu. "She gets the job done. Well mostly, she still kind of haves a planet to destroy."

Mois shot Kululu a glare.

He let out a small nervous laugh. Why was it that only her scolding glares could make this weird shiver up his spine or even a nervous fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach? Glares were supposed to be a good thing!

 _Ah. It's because despite that it's in a negative context, it's still her. And she's still looking at me._ He shielded his eyes and nervously looked away from her eye contact. Her eyes were too much for him.

She smiled and turned back to Keroro to continue their sappy exchange.

"I don't know what I'll do without you, lady Mois." Keroro cried dramatically onto his arm.

"Maybe take some responsibility and actually do things?" Giroro wished.

"Ku. Not even the apocalypse could make that happen and you know it, Giroro," Kululu pointed out.

Giroro cried now too.

"We'll be fine, Uncle," Mois told him, finally closing the one-foot gap between them and and patting him on the head. "Separation will make our hearts long for each other even more."

Kululu fake-gagged to Giroro in the background. Giroro laughed.

When Mois and Keroro glanced at them, they pretended to be impatient with them again.

"I... I lost you?" Keroro admitted, confused. "Anyway... Um good-bye?" He didn't really completely get the what Mois was going for. His heart wasn't really longing for her at all.

Mois felt the romantic atmosphere between them vanish. "Good-bye, my dearest Uncle."

"Good-bye, Lady Mois. I hope you come home soon," Keroro told her. "Lady Mois!"

"Uncle!" She started shouting again. Keroro flew into her arms and they hugged and screamed at each other.

"We have to go!" Kululu yelled to Mois. If this kept up, they'd be here all day. He was not going to be dragged down into their sappy soap-opera.

Mois made a disappointed little pout and slowly brought Keroro onto the ground. "One more good-bye?" she pleaded, looking at Kululu.

"One will turn into one hundred." He pointed at her. "And you've now successfully said good-bye for at least a half an hour!"

"Oh no! We're late!" Mois realized, unaware that they were an hour and an a half early. Kululu held his laughter back, hoping not to clue her off to his lies.

Grabbing her suitcase, she looked back at Keroro one more time.

"NO!" Both Giroro and Kululu yelled. Giroro pulled Keroro away from the doorstep before they could start calling to each other again.

By the time they got to the station, Keroro's and Mois's good-byes had lasted an hour.

* * *

"Two tickets for the planet that TEC is being held on." Kululu handed the tickets to the ticket holder. After punching the tickets, the person let Mois and Kululu on, taking their suitcases.

"It's amazing that we made it onto another train even though we were late, isn't it?" Mois asked, sitting down in a seat next to Kululu. She was unaware that it was their original train that she was on.

"Actually I lied to you about the deport time. I expected that you'd be late with your good-byes to the Captain, so I told you a false time. So we're on our original train and an hour early. Ku, ku, ku."

She looked shocked for a moment. Kululu wondered absent-mindedly if she'd be mad at him for conning her. She was coming along with him so he could con other people after all, not her. She was the only person who was in on this charade.

"Smart," she finally spoke. Kululu looked shocked for a moment at her good attitude.

 _Should have expected she'd see the good in it,_ he realized. She hadn't even forgiven him. She held no ill-will whatsoever toward his actions.

"You know me so well! I'm glad you were able to overcome my faults!" she said. Kululu sunk into his chair. He couldn't even make a fault line joke out of this, although he knew she'd appreciate it. She was just being so sweet and so proud of him for knowing her well. "I'm glad to have a friend to help me with my problems like you."

He just covered his face and diverted his eyes to the window. He pretended he was reading a flier about resort planets. Anything to keep her from talking to him about how proud and happy she was to have him as a friend.

That was way too nice, too sweet... Those words would most definitely kill him!

* * *

The train finally started departing. "It'll be about eighteen hours before the space port at TEC," the loudspeakers spoke up.

Angol Mois sighed. "You know, it would have been faster if I flew there," she said to Kululu. "I could have gotten there in mere seconds!" She leaned her head on her arm. At least she could catch up on some much-needed sleep.

Kululu shook his head. "I can't breath in space, unlike you. So it wasn't an option."

Mois glanced at him, but she knew he was right. She wasn't complaining about the extra sleep, though.

Kululu was silent for a few minutes as an awkward silence filled the air. The train started moving, flying into the sky, following its own invisible tracks.

"Ummm... Want the window seat?" he asked, trying to make awkward small talk as they sat on the train. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to talk to her about. Or were they just supposed to be silent for a good long while? Silence was fine with him, personally.

It was odd, being with Mois for such a long, extended period of time without computers in front of them. How was he supposed to distract her to not look at him?

"Why?" Mois asked. "You already have it."

"It's closer to the wall. You could lean on it to sleep better," he said.

Mois smiled. "All right! I'll take it," she agreed, thanking him as they quickly switched seats.

But as that conversation topic disappeared, they were left to the awkward silence again.

* * *

He just sort of sat there rigidly for ten hours, ten hours that she managed to sleep away rather easily. When she awoke, yawning, he tried to avoid glancing at her.

"Do... Do you know what you signed up for?" Kululu finally asked, bringing up a subject that had plagued his mind since they had departed for the train station. "I mean do you understand the connotations of being my pretend girlfriend and all the things you'll have to pretend to do?"

"Like?" Mois asked for an example, curious as to what he was bothered about.

"Talking about the Captain. You won't be able to do that. Bringing him up will definitely tip someone off about us faking this whole thing. I know you're in love with him or something stupid like that, but that good-bye you had with him is literally going to be the last Keroro thing you'll be able to do this month." Kululu crossed his arms. He honestly didn't think Mois had it in her to not mention Keroro for an entire month. Heck, a day was pushing it!

Mois frowned. "I _can_ do it! I agreed to this after all! You have to have faith in me," she pouted.

Kululu turned away. He rarely had faith in things that weren't scientifically proven. Heck, the last thing he had ever had faith in was that he'd be in an amazing platoon under Sergeant Keroro and easily invade Pekopon. And he had seen where that went.

Logic was telling him that not mentioning Keroro at all would be impossible for Mois. But the strange thing was, he wanted to have faith in her. Just the way she pouted and begged and looked at him forced him to have faith in her against his will.

It was like poison.

"Fine! I believe you!" Kululu threw up his hands in defeat, as she continued looking at him. She made a joyful squeal of success that made Kululu feel whatever was the opposite of wanting to gag. Whatever it was that sound sounded way too cute to be humanly possible.

"It's just... to make this work out, I really need you to pretend to act like you're not in love with the Captain. That you're madly in love with me. Like I'm the best thing ever. Not him," he said. It would be the first and last time actually that Mois would probably act like Kululu was better than Keroro to her.

 _Well. That's a grim thought._ He didn't need Mois's affection. Heck, he didn't _want_ Angol Mois's affection. All right, maybe he wanted it a tiny little bit in some dark cavern of his black heart, but that small part was in jail. Or at least he was trying to arrest it.

He didn't need to be enjoying this for any reason except ego boosting.

"I can do it," Mois insisted. "Trust me."

"Ku, ku, ku. Good, because I will fire you from being my pretend girlfriend if you can't."

"Whaaat?" she asked, shocked.

"I was joking. You really think I could find a replacement that fast? Ku, ku, ku."

She frowned. "That's the problem with firing me? That you couldn't find a replacement? Not that that would be ditching me?"

"I'm not going to fire you. I was joking. Ku. I can't fire you since you're not working for me. You're doing a favor for me," he assured her. She fell for pranks way too easily. He was glad she was in on this charade and he had told her they were faking it or she probably would have fallen for it, too. She was rather gullible, after all.

"Oh." Mois composed herself from the teasing. She fell for his jokes way too easily. "But I can do this. Don't worry about me! I'll be a great fake girlfriend!" she said.

Kululu nodded. "You'd be a great _real_ girlfriend." He paused for a second realizing that had come out wrong. He waved his hands in the air, trying not to blush. Blushing for him looked way more unnatural than, say, someone like Giroro blushing, who already had a red skin tone. "Not to mean mine! I just mean you just seem like it - you know. Supportive, sweet, reading unrealistic romance books all day. You'd probably be great at it. A natural."

Mois smiled. "Thanks." Kululu was so kind, even though he didn't really think of himself as such.

Kululu quickly quieted down now that he had addressed his key issue of not talking about Keroro. He tried to recover from that back-tracking.

* * *

"Would you like something to drink?" Some sort of tray stewardess approached them with a trolley of drinks.

"Just some water, please," Mois asked. Kululu looked at the trolley. No curry. He frowned.

"Water," he agreed, disappointed at the lack of curry. The lady handed them their water and moved on.

He took a sip, and the air was filled with silence again. Eventually, to fill his boredom his eyes drifted towards Mois, specifically her hand on the arm of her seat.

Her fingers were long, much longer than his, but that was normal for the difference in their species. Her skin was fair, now that she was back in her Angolian form, since she was in space. He briefly thought about how weird it was that instead of taking off her floating clothing and changing them, she merely changed her entire appearance to fit in with the Pekoponians. It wasn't like she had rather alien features, and her unnaturally colored hair didn't really stick out any more than Natsumi's. But each to their own.

Her fingernails were short, well-trimmed so she could hold onto her spear firmly. Her hands were unmarred and just rather smooth-looking, although her fingers looked fast and flexible from what he knew of her typing habits.

He hoped she didn't notice him staring at her hands so incredibly much. _I'm... I'm going to have to hold her hand during this trip, aren't I?_ he realized as he looked at it. He wasn't talking about metaphorical hand-holding through their charade, either. He was talking about the very physical kind.

It hadn't occurred to him since he didn't think about it much, but people who were in love and in a committed relationship probably did a lot more than just proclaiming it. They had a sort of chemistry about them, and included in that chemistry was a lot of casual touching. A certain closeness that he himself didn't share with Mois.

And that closeness included holding hands sometimes. Something that sounded much too innocent of an activity for him to ever consider doing in his lifetime. But he realized he would have to do it.

He looked at her hand again, trying to imagine his tiny little fingers clasping around it, her hand happily welcoming his hand and helping his fingers find a more comfortable location for both their hands to rest.

His heart starting beating at an increased pace. If he was inexperienced with Mois, he would have assumed he was having a heart attack, but he knew that his heart rate accelerating was something she normally inflicted on him. His current hypothesis was that it was some sort of pheromone that he was allergic too. But he didn't have enough time to consider those things.

" _Kululu..._ " He imagined Mois's voice in his head. Her face, her body, everything about her, pretending to be his girlfriend so he could successful prepare himself for what he was about to get into. " _I love you!_ " the fake Angol Mois in his head giggled innocently before brushing a hand against the back of his neck, inching it toward his shoulder...

He sputtered, spitting out some of his drink back into the cup.

"You okay?" Mois asked, glancing at him. "You're... You're steaming..." Literal steam was coming from his head and he seemed completely red.

"I'm fine." He put the cup down. That was enough fantasies for that day. He had to steady himself. _That isn't reality,_ he reminded himself, banishing the image of such a loving Mois from his head. He didn't know if he was shaking from fear or embarrassment. With Mois, those two usually meshed.

Kululu glanced over at her. It was time to get his head out of what might happen, and focus on what was actually going to happen this month. "About our charade..." He tried to play it cool and pretend that he hadn't been literally steaming a moment ago.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"To be completely upfront, I'm not the most experienced person on how to have a date, or make this look like we're naturally dating," he confessed.

 _I know,_ Mois thought to herself. She didn't tell him that, thinking it would have been rather rude. Although Kululu might have taken the opportunity for the snark, she wouldn't.

"So how about we start planning how we act? What sort of rules we'll follow and what things we'll have to do." He got out a pencil and paper. "First rule... no staring," he wrote down.

"I... um... don't think that will help the situation, Kululu," Mois pointed out. "Couples stare at each other lovingly all the time."

"Damn." He erased it. He looked at the now blank paper, trying to think strategically on what sort of actions besides pretending to be in love with each other that they would have to take.

Mois put her hand on the paper, blocking it from Kululu's view as he scribbled chicken-scratch all over it. "Don't worry about it. It'll be fine!" she tried to reassure him. He was trying to be smart about the situation, but there was just no way to think strategically about it. "It'll become easier the more we do it. You could say, practice makes perfect!"

Kululu frowned. But they hadn't practiced at all yet!

"I... I guess you're right. Logically, practice will help more than just talking about it," he agreed. Mois smiled and relaxed into her seat again.

His eyes moved back to her hand that was very close to his. If practice did make perfect, that would mean that he'd have to practice holding her hand, to make it look like they were more of a couple.

Kululu gulped. He had to reach for that hand. Just to grab it!

Closing his eyes and wincing, he finally gathered the courage to go for it. To start practicing. He reached over, trying to imagine that it was attached to something that wasn't Mois. Maybe a slab of meat. That would do better.

He grabbed her hand and wrapped his tiny fingers around it.

Mois jolted. "EEP!" She instinctively slapped his hand away, then pressed herself up against the wall away from him, her eyes wide in surprise. Her face was incredibly red as Kululu rubbed his hand.

Slowly, she realized what was going on.

"O-oh... uhh... Y-you... Um... You... Y-you just held my hand," she just sort of stuttered out. She brought her hand closer to her eyes, avoiding his eye contact.

"Tried to," he corrected. "Forgot about how incredibly tough your reflexes were." _Geez, she hasn't freaked out like that since Easter Island, when she threw me to the ground._ "Can I try again? You did say practice makes perfect, after all. And I assume holding hands is something we'll have to do a _lot_ of."

Mois's face turned red. Kululu tried not to grin as he absorbed her embarrassment. It wasn't very beneficial to their plans, but if there was one thing he liked, it was other people suffering. And it sure made him feel a whole lot better from his embarrassment, if it turned out she was somehow more embarrassed about holding his hand than he was. It gave him a great confidence boost.

 _Who knew she'd be the one to suck at this?_ he realized, even though he really shouldn't have been happy about a thing like this. It could potentially give them away as not really being a couple.

Mois finally nodded, rigidly taking herself off the wall and getting back into her seat. She seemed to be squirming a bit, though.

He noticed goosebumps all along her arm. _She's nervous!_

He finally worked up the courage to try again, reaching for her hand and grabbing it. Mois looked at it as his hand squeezed onto hers, trying not to shake it off. Her hand was twitching a lot, though, as Kululu tried to make holding her hand more comfortable for her. Changing squeezing to just light holding.

He glanced up at her face to see for once that she wasn't staring at him. She was staring out the window to conceal how completely red she was. She looked completely embarrassed.

Her hand finally squirmed out of his. It was twitching way too much to comfortably hold his hand.

"S-sorry..." She rubbed her hand, her voice barely a whisper.

"I... I didn't expect you to be so embarrassed about it." Kululu's voice was in awe.

It was a treat to see her act like, well... how he normally acted around her. It seemed he wasn't the only one who would have trouble with this acting thing.

"We can work our way up to it. We still have six hours till we reach our destination, after all," he assured.

Mois nodded, unable to even give an excuse to why she was so embarrassed. She just was. She didn't know wh,y but that sort of physical contact with Kululu just sort of set her skin all tingly. It made her extremely embarrassed.

She hoped her inability to hold his hand wouldn't give them away or anything.

* * *

He tried several more times in the next few hours, but each time, she would either instinctively slap his hand away or freak out.

It was amusing enough that he didn't complain about it. How he had wished he had found Mois's weakness of hand-holding long ago!

He tried poking her, to work on that casual touching, but that seemed to have similar effects of a quick jolt and surprise from her.

Touching her in general... anywhere, actually... seemed to set off her reflexes, and her surprise and embarrassment.

 _This might be fun, but it really won't help our act at all,_ he realized. It was going to be a hassle. But he had to help Mois through her fear of this.

It was nice, seeing her avoiding his eye contact and blushing so cutely, but it really wouldn't make them look like they were together.

"Let's try going slow... instead of just jumping into it," he suggested. "We really need to work on this, after all."

"I'm sorry I'm so bad at it," she apologized. "I... I had no idea I'd be so... so... so _this_! at holding your hand." She couldn't even say "embarrassed," she was just so frazzled. Actually, it was more like she didn't want to say embarrassed.

"It's all right," he soothed. After all, how many times had he freaked out over just a glance from her? And she barely ever teased him.

He put out his hand in front of her, palm up. "You try. Maybe it'll be easier for you if you initiate it," he suggested. Sure, it wouldn't be any easier on him, but perhaps he could play it cool easier than her. He hoped he could, at least.

She nervously looked down at him and his face. He seemed calm. She gave him her hand, covering her face with her other hand.

Her palm was now on his palm. At least that was farther than they had previously gotten.

He clasped her hand, wrapping his fingers around it. "Imagine I'm helping you up or something. You need me for leverage cuz you skinned your knee or something dumb like that." He didn't know how to be supportive and helpful. But he tried to walk her through it, anyway.

"You're shorter than me. I wouldn't need you for leverage," said Mois. Kululu sighed. That analogy had gone nowhere. At least she was talking, though.

He moved her hand slowly toward the arm of her chair, trying to relax her rigid arm. "You don't have to keep your arm so tensed up," he said.

Mois made a small murmur and tried to relax it and sit back in her seat. Her hand was tensing up again into a tight fist. Kululu tried rubbing at her thumb for a moment to relax it. From the small amount of romantic movies that she had forced him to see, he had seen some couples do that.

It just seemed to make her face redder. He stopped.

"You..." He sighed. He knew what he had to do to calm her down. "You can look at me. Try to focus on your weird staring thing and eye contact, and... and you move your hand how it makes you more comfortable. I'll follow your lead," he promised her.

"R-really?" Mois stuttered. She knew how hard it was for Kululu to actually let her stare at him. She finally pried her other hand off her face and tried to look him in the eyes. Her blush had not faded.

Slowly after a few minutes of just silent staring and breathing, Mois's blush slowly started fading, as Kululu became more and more tense and embarrassed. He tried his hardest not to blush. _She will not transfer her embarrassment to me!_ he vowed.

Curiously, Mois entwined their fingers, trying to move slow and actually working at the subject of holding his hand.

This just caused Kululu's heart to pound harder. His eyes snapped down to his hand, then back at her face. He could feel his body shaking. He could feel the heat rise to his face.

"It's all right." She could feel him tense up too now. "If you feel like stopping, we can." She wanted to be just as supportive about his embarrassment as he had been to her.

 _I can't give up now... We have to be able to do this! If we never hold hands it will definitely look suspicious to them,_ Kululu told himself. He nervously shook his head. He didn't even want to speak. If he said anything, it would probably be just something hugely nervous that made no sense.

Mois smiled as she pulled her hand closer to Kululu. Their fingers fully entwined, palm against palm and them just looking at each other.

She looked at him for a full minute, their hands pressed up against each other's, before Kululu was at his limit and accidentally rubbed his thumb sweetly against Mois's index finger. Embarrassed by his own actions, he pulled away at the same time she pulled away embarrassed at holding his hand for so long.

They both turned away from each other to shield their own mutual blush.

 _That... That was terrifying..._ Kululu thought to himself. It had been more than two minutes of her staring at him, holding hands... And at the end of it, his body had accidentally initiated having even more contact than just simple, rigid hand-holding. Now he was trying to catch his breath from his utter terror.

 _I was fine with it? For two minutes? I... held his hand,_ Mois was thinking. She had done it. She had been calm about it until the very end, until she had realized what kind of trance she had been in. Then she had freaked out. She was just glad that he had freaked out as well, and that at least their terror was mutual.

"I... I think we did okay," Kululu spoke timidly, unaware that they were pathetic at holding hands. Two minutes was a new record in their six hours of practicing, after all.

"Y-yeah..." Mois continued avoiding eye contact. "W-we worked really hard at that, so I'm sure it'll pay off!" She tried not to look at him, or her hand.

Kululu looked at her hand, though. _I can't believe her hand and my hand... We... We held hands... For like two minutes!_ He was more of internally freaking out. As soon as he was alone away from her, he was going to die. "Got to go, restroom," he lied. He was going to go die right now.

She let him go and he did fall onto the floor away from her range of sight and die.

"Are you okay, mister?" the trolley lady asked. He didn't even go to the bathroom. He was just in another hallway of a train car.

"Just let me relax," he begged. "I've been through an intense, strenuous event."

The lady politely stepped over him.

* * *

He had finally recovered from his embarrassment and returned to her. The train stopped.

"TEC Port!" the speaker announced.

"We're here," Kululu told her, standing next to her seat. Mois stood up.

"Should... Should we try once more before we show ourselves?" he asked. They needed to get this down for good measure. He felt like they were so close to it, too. He didn't look at her, though.

"Sure." She nodded, reaching out her hand. He reached his hand up to her. He drew in his breath...

They didn't reach.

Kululu frowned. "We... We forgot about height differences, didn't we?" he said. As a couple, they wouldn't need to hold hands all the time, since that would be uncomfortable for Mois, forcing her to slouch a lot.

"Yep," Mois said in a high-pitch, very hollow voice. Her mind was screaming at all the practice gone to waste. Both their faces were pale.

"It... It won't look odd at all if we don't hold hands. Because we physically can't." It hurt so much to realize that that much practice and effort had gone to waste.

The true jerk till the end was height difference, not Kululu.

He felt like an idiot for even trying.

* * *

 **Trying to make things fluffier than I usually write them.**

 **Please review!**

 **Constructive criticism** **always appreciated.**


	3. First Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **This chapter was pretty hard for me to write, so just a fair warning about that. Personal life stuff, I started this gross medicine nutritional drink for a month. It tastes like fake strawberrry metal. I'm only allowed to eat it and drink water for a full month and my mood has been getting sourly depleted because of it.**

 **Darn you evil life seeping medicine! Darn you!**

 **Edit: Also I have now finished the entire story by now, I will be posting it soon after it is edited.**

* * *

Kululu looked towards the TEC building. It was always held in such an extravagant place, with an extravagant landscape, being such a huge convention that granted the planet it was hosted on a slice of the revenue. This time was no different.

A giant hotel stood maybe two hundred, three hundred stories high. At least the size of a city had been closed off just for the people attending TEC, and there were skyscraping malls on every side of the hotel, filled with convention-goers. The landscape was filled with shrubbery cut out in the shape of various types of aliens that attended - Keronians included.

"It's beautiful!" Angol Mois smiled, looking at the fountains. The water inside them was jumping around from a space dolphin's mouth.

 _Of course it would be the lame fountains that would catch her attention instead of the buildings,_ Kululu thought to himself. Nothing wrong with fountains, but they were so boring. What purpose did they serve besides aesthetic?

"So where to first?" Mois asked, adjusting her suitcases in her hands.

"The hotel, obviously." Kululu pointed ahead. "We have to check in and drop off our stuff before we go into the denser convention part."

"We get a hotel room?" Mois asked. Her eyes went starry as she thought about one of her favorite things to do - sleep.

"Of course we do. Where else were we going to stay? Ku, ku, ku."

Angol Mois nodded and eventually followed him toward the hotel.

As Kululu got in, he headed to the receptionist in the front and handed her a piece of paper with his reservation for a free deluxe room for the month, as someone who had been invited to the con.

"All right." The receptionist made the arrangements for the room, her voice bland and bored by her job. She looked up from her work to glance at Angol Mois. "And her?" she asked.

"My... My girlfriend." Kululu stuttered a bit on the first part, but eventually got the words out. Now that they were here they had to start pretending, and that meant he couldn't afford to _not_ refer to Mois as his girlfriend, even once. He was way too paranoid of someone finding out how they were acting. "On the invitation, it said that you could bring someone," Kululu explained impatiently.

"I know. I just wanted to know what kind of room you wanted." The receptionist told him. She checked a few pieces of paper and handed them two copies of a room key. "Your room is 72B."

Kululu nodded and didn't even say a thank you. He wasn't the polite sort of guy. "Let's go," he told Mois.

Angol Mois nodded and followed him.

* * *

Kululu turned the doorknob and opened the door to their room. "All right, put your stuff down and then we'll go off to find Zhuang or something." He was eager to get this over and done with so he could start marketing himself.

Mois wasn't listening, though. "It's... It's so big!" Her eyes sparkled at the room as she spun around after she put down her suitcase. She clearly hadn't stayed in many hotels.

"Yes, yes, it is big." Kululu hurriedly agreed with her so they could be done with her eager tour of just one room. If she got this way looking at _one_ room he wasn't too excited for how she got when viewing an entire convention.

"The bath is big... the kitchen is big... and the bed is big!" Mois just seemed chipper and eager as she ran around, looking at all the various things.

Kululu carefully set down his own suitcase. "The bed?" he asked, carefully looking around the room. There was only one bed, even though he clearly remembered mentioning there were two of them. "There's... only one."

"Oh yeah, I suppose there is." Mois put a finger at her chin, realizing this crucial detail that she had apparently overlooked. "Did they not expect you to bring a guest?" she asked, glancing at Kululu.

Kululu looked at the piece of paper describing what room they had gotten. _Couple's room_ was clearly written at the top.

He frowned. _No!_ was all his inner thoughts shouted. He could handle pretending Mois was his girlfriend in public, but it extending it to their private life? That was way too much.

Apparently he had also overlooked a huge detail - that introducing Mois as his girlfriend had landed them in the couple's room.

 _Ku, ku, ku... I didn't realize couples shared beds, but I suppose that's obvious in hindsight,_ he thought to himself.

He had to look a the positive side, though. Sharing a room - and a bed - had to have its benefits.

 _If anybody gets so desperate to confirm that we're dating after all, and breaks into our room, they'll see we are in fact sharing a couple's room._ Wasn't a very likely circumstance, but he had to look on the bright side of this mishap.

"They knew you were coming, I just... apparently saying you were my girlfriend got us a couple's room. That's why we have one bed," he explained

Mois kept looking at him, as if waiting for him to elaborate.

The staring made Kululu shake, and he eventually squeaked out an apology. "M-my bad... I know it would be more comfortable if there had been two beds." He waited for her to stop looking at him. She didn't. "I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT!" he finally yelled out, covering his face. _Stop looking at me! What do you want?_

"I don't mind," Mois shrugged. She hadn't really been thinking when she was looking at him. "I mean, it's just a bed."

 _A bed that we might share. Can she really be so calm about it? She freaked out so badly about just holding my hand... Where'd this new calmness come from?_ Realization suddenly dawned on him. She was going to boot him to the floor. Wasn't she?

Well, at least that was loads better than sleeping with her.

"We'll deal with this..." He pointed to the bed. "...later." He didn't need to think about this sort of cheesy situation, something straight out of a rom-com, at the moment. "Right now I have something to rub in some guy's face."

Mois giggled at his confidence. She wondered if things would go smoothly or they'd somehow screw this thing up.

She didn't really know much of this history behind the guy who had made a bet with Kululu, but she was determined to help the situation best she could.

* * *

It didn't take long for Kululu to lead her to the main hall of the convention center. There seemed to be all sorts of entrepreneurs, inventors, and businessman flocking all around.

"There. There he is," Kululu pointed, spotting Zhuang out in the crowd. He seemed to be in the middle area, flocked by a bunch of people. Much more popular than the last time Kululu had seen him. He didn't seem to be wearing such run-down humble clothes either. He was dressed more professional and more business-like.

It was the time of reckoning. Like a Pokemon battle, Zhuang spotted Kululu almost immediately through the crowd.

"Zhuang." Kululu greeted as he approached him.

"Kululu. I'm happy you showed up." Zhuang crossed his arms. His voice was polite but his words were mocking. "After what happened last time, I thought you wouldn't want to be here."

"You mean the bet?" Kululu asked, sneering. "Why would I be afraid of a little thing like that?"

"Actually I was referring to how you ruined a wonderful idea that would help employees and the environment," Zhuang frowned. Life wasn't just about Kululu. He had remembered the bet with Kululu, but he was still more bitter about his stuff being broken by Kululu.

"That? Why would I not show up because of that?" Kululu asked. "Actually that just makes me want to come back more. Ku, ku, ku. I wonder what kind of stuff of yours I'll break this time." He rubbed his hands together.

Zhuang smiled. "I'll try not to give you an excuse this time. I learned my lesson. You don't want to collaborate," he recalled. "And make copies of the things I present. No more using prototypes. You really taught me a lesson, Kululu!"

Kululu frowned. He didn't like this cheerful attitude. Nobody should be learning a positive lesson from the things he did to them. He gestured at Mois, hoping for Zhuang to get the idea that he had brought someone. After all, his cheerful attitude had to be because he thought Kululu had lost the bet, right?

Zhuang didn't see his desperate gestures. "So what have you been up to since I last saw you?" He tried to make small conversation with Kululu. Friendly conversation.

It honestly distressed Kululu.

"What have _you_ been up to?" Kululu said suspiciously. There had to be something under Zhuang's sleeves. The last time he had been so nice to him he had stolen Kululu's ideas and his invention. There had to be a reason that he was so chipper.

"Well, last time you saw me I was a struggling businessman. I had to spend a lot of money to come here, hoping that I'd be able to make something of my company." Zhuang forced him to recall.

"Yeah, you were pathetic," Kululu agreed.

"But since then I've worked a lot harder. After TEC I managed to network myself and get connected to a lot of other people... Coincidentally, all people you've wronged who related to my pain, and - well - a relationship that started out because we hated you turned out to benefit me quite a lot. My business skyrocketed, and I became very rich and very successful. I actually got an invitation this year instead of having to pay my way in. Isn't that great?" He looked so happy.

"So... because of how much of a jerk I was to you... you benefited?" Kululu was shocked.

"Well, yes. And for that I'm very thankful," Zhuang nodded, shaking Kululu's hand very vigorously. Kululu was appalled. This was way worse than Zhuang having something up his sleeve!

"So... you don't hate me anymore?" he asked. That would be terrible! He loved to be hated.

"Well... no." Zhuang stopped shaking his hand. "Actually, I still dislike you quite a bit. I'd just prefer it to be more of a friendly rivalry instead of full hate," he told him. "After all, my initial success was thanks to you. But you can't just focus on how much you dislike someone! You need to better yourself. And that's what I did. Although I got connected with people who felt what you did was wrong, I tried to focus more on my company than you. It's better for me in the long run."

Kululu frowned again.

"You could say, let bygones be bygones?" Mois asked, having tried to keep up with the conversation. Maybe there really was no reason for her to pretend to be Kululu's girlfriend. Maybe the two of them could just act normally if Zhuang was letting things go to better himself.

Zhuang laughed. A lot. "Well, yeah... I let bygones be bygones while I was at work... But we're at the TEC now. And I've waited a hundred years to see Kululu again." Zhuang's friendly smile dropped. "I think a good laugh will be worth the pain I suffered at the last TEC."

Everybody around Zhuang turned their heads to direct their attention at Kululu. Most of them had been at the last TEC, and if they hadn't word had spread about Kululu's jerky nature. They all wanted a rather good laugh and were excited that he had lost the bet.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I won your stupid bet. Brought Mois to prove it." Kululu pointed his thumb at her. "Didn't you notice I brought a companion?" he grinned widely. He was excited to see Zhuang's excited smile drop as he realized that he lost - even though Kululu was cheating about the bet and was lying. He still wanted the satisfaction of seeing Zhuang lose.

Zhuang finally glanced at Angol Mois. "You're...?"

"My girlfriend. Ku ku ku. So it seems you lost, after all," Kululu laughed. Zhuang's grin did drop. And the look of shock on his face was so satisfying to Kululu.

At first, Zhuang looked devastated, but then he shook his head like he just couldn't believe this.

"But... But his face!" was what someone in the crowd said. They couldn't legitimately believe that Kululu had a girlfriend who looked like a perfectly nice girl.

Kululu just shot them a glare, but he laughed sinisterly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. My name's Mois," Mois smiled, being ever so kind. She stretched out her hand to shake Zhuang's. He shook it, pretty blankly, still shocked.

This couldn't have been real.

"So as you can see, I did win your stupid bet. I bet that rubs it in yours and your stupid wife's faces. Ku, ku, ku," Kululu laughed. "Speaking of your wife, where is she? Did she realize that anyone was infinitely better than a copy-cat and leave you?"

Zhuang looked down. "We divorced some time ago. I was throwing myself into my work so much and she felt neglected so she left..." His voice was hollow at the words.

"Ouch! Ku. So you're saying that in these one-hundred years your wife left you, yet I managed to land a girlfriend and have a pretty happy relationship? Must hurt, seeing someone you dislike infinitely happy than you, ku ku ku," he laughed. Although he wasn't really in a happy relationship and his job was actually pretty sucky, which Zhuang didn't have to know, he still liked to see the expression of pain cross Zhuang's face.

And boy, was the expression of pain worth it. Zhuang's eyes were filled with tears that only stepping on a bunch of legos could have invoked.

A sea of heads shook around Kululu, just in shock that Kululu had won the bet. He heard various chattering and whispering doubting him.

"She looks so out of place, are you sure he didn't just pick her up off the street?" someone said.

"But... But look at his face! It's so ugly!" Another person just couldn't get over that fact.

"This isn't right... The wicked don't win. It can't be." Someone was having an internal crisis over their beliefs in the world, all for a petty bet.

Zhuang just covered his ears like he couldn't believe this. He glanced between Mois and Kululu. He felt anger rise up at him at seeing Kululu living a perfectly happy life - he probably hadn't even worked that hard for it! But at the same time, Mois seemed like a perfectly kind person and didn't deserve any sort of scrutiny or hatred toward her decisions to date someone so intensely awful.

"I... I guess... I owe you an apology..." He wanted to be the better man. And he was almost about to give in.

But then a Viper spoke up in the crowd. "How are we sure this is even real? I mean, that Keronian doesn't even have a track record of honesty! I bet they're faking!" Viper Genius (that was his name, because Vipers seemed to have the worst naming sense) wasn't someone Kululu liked at the TEC. As a Viper, he was at ends with Keronians like Kululu, and although Kululu tried his best to be a jerk to him, usually ruining him psychologically, the Viper was still a lot bigger than him and never gave in to Kululu's jerky nature.

"That would be pretty pathetic if he was just pretending. But I can see it. I mean, nobody would date him with that face and most of all, his bad attidude," a female Keronian with small glasses laughed. Kululu recognized her as Wakuku, someone who usually attended TEC to write notes for the Keron Army. She was a secretary who actually happened to handle a lot of the Keroro Platoon's documents, so at the moment, being a jerk to her wouldn't benefit him in the slightest. Although, after he was out of the Keroro Platoon, he would absolutely be sure to make it up to her.

He winced at Wakuku's words, though. The fact was that he was pretending. And she was right that it was pathetic. And what hurt the most was always the truth. "I am not pretending!" he proclaimed.

Mois gently shushed him with a gesture and looked at Wakuku. She knew just saying that they weren't pretending over and over again would probably sound more like denial than anything. "You can doubt our love as a couple, if it helps you sleep at night. But please don't say that nobody would date my boyfriend. After all, what about me? It's quite rude for you so say things like that. After all, he's got such a cute face!" she spoke up, acting like a classic supportive girlfriend.

Mois shut them all up. They hadn't really expected her to speak up or defend him. And her words were so sweet that it was hard to doubt her commitment.

Maybe... she was a robot. That was the only logical explanation they could all find. Kululu had brought a robo- girlfriend.

"Want to go look around now, Kululu?" she asked, trying to distract Kululu from probably making the situation worse by fighting with them. He looked like he was going to do something to defend himself from the "pathetic" comment.

"Sure," he finally agreed. "After all, I won this battle."

* * *

Kululu didn't seem to be able to fully enjoy watching people set up their tables with inventions as he walked around with Mois and she tried to take him away from the people who tried to antagonize him.

 _They don't believe that it's real. Just like I suspected,_ Kululu thought to himself. His composure was calm, but his mind was buzzing with worry. Maybe he wasn't doing a good enough job acting. He wasn't even really acting now, he was just walking around with Mois, letting her lead. He wasn't acting very couple-like at all.

 _They could be watching at any time for me to slip up._ He was paranoid, and for good reason. He had a lot of enemies and he knew they would take any chance they could to prove that Kululu was as pathetic as they believed, and the truth of the matter was that it was true.

"Don't you need to set up a booth?" Mois asked, trying to make this convention more fun than whatever stress Kululu was focusing on.

"Sort of," he told her. "I already reserved one, but since I already have put together a bunch of inventions, I don't need to be over there working, especially at the beginning of the fair," he explained.

Mois nodded, and then went back to walking around with him.

 _We don't look like a couple at all. Maybe they were right to suspect. I mean, right now we're not even making an effort to act. This was pointless to bring Mois if I don't use her to her fullest capabilities._ This wasn't really her problem; she didn't really seem to understand how important Kululu's pride was to him. And she definitely didn't understand how much of a problem it was, people suspecting them.

"Oh, look at this thing!" she pointed. It wasn't a very impressive invention. Just an artificial DanceDance Revolution simulator. It didn't have any purpose except entertainment. "It looks so nice!" she complimented the person who had made it.

The person smiled. "I never expect anyone accompanying Kululu to give out such nice compliments. He's the kind of guy who never says anything nice."

Although in any normal situation Kululu would agree with the guy and be proud of not saying anything nice, it probably wouldn't benefit him at all to look like a bad boyfriend.

"Y-you're... You're very cu - pretty." Kululu tried complimenting Mois, focusing on their act as a couple instead of the inventions around him. He changed his compliment mid-sentence because cute was an insult meant for the most vile creatures - specifically people like Mois, actually, and on any normal occasion he would not fail to remind her of that. But this was no normal occasion.

Mois looked at him strangely. _Oh. He's probably concerned because we're not acting as much as we should be._ She had gotten distracted actually _enjoying_ the convention and seeing all the cool inventions instead of focusing on their act. But she reminded herself of the reason she was there.

"You're cute too!" she said back. Touching a bunch wasn't a way they could communicate that they were a couple easily, but complimenting each other constantly might give people the message.

Kululu grinned. She had gotten the idea. He tried not to frown at her using the hated "cute" word.

The two began over-dramatically complimenting each other. The poor person with his DanceDance Revolution machine just covered his face. He didn't want to see this.

Kululu grinned seeing the man reduced to pieces. At least one person had gotten the idea. One out of thousands.

This was going to be a long month.

* * *

Kululu had felt they had done enough acting, for at least that hour. So many fake sappy compliments were just too strenuous.

He headed off to lunch with Mois, after quickly (and very carefully) avoiding the table of one of Kululu's old friends, Dansu Masu. He wasn't even sure how he had gotten in there.

They sat down at a table in a rather populated area. He'd worry about acting like a couple later after eating. "I'll go get some curry, you wait here - "

"No." Mois refused, crossing her arms. "We had curry for breakfast. We can't just have the same meal over and over again."

Kululu's eye twitched. Torture. This was true torture. Bringing Mois had been a mistake. Now she was insisting that she wouldn't eat curry for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh, what an awful mistake he had made!

"Then maybe I could go get some w-watermelon?" His voice shook in fear. Was she going to take every food he loved away from him?

"Hmm... I don't think watermelon's a meal on it's own. Why don't I go get us some food?" she volunteered. Before Kululu could complain, she had vanished off to the various food vendors.

He crossed his arms and waited. No sooner had she disappeared than Zhuang had slunk toward him, waving and sitting at the table by him.

"I don't want your company," Kululu hissed.

"I just wanted to make some small talk," Zhuang defended. "After all, it's still not that clear if you've won or lost our bet."

"How much clearer can I be? I brought what you wanted, didn't I?" he asked.

"I don't believe you," Zhuang told him honestly. "It just doesn't make sense why that girl would be with you."

"Oh? So you don't believe I'm a catch?" Kululu asked, posing jokingly. He was glad Mois was dedicated to helping him, or else this would be a problem.

Zhuang shook his head. "Where did you two meet?"

Kululu tried not to sputter. He and Mois had never come up with a story of why they were dating. He spouted the first thing that came out of his head. "Online forum," he answered.

Zhuang raised a brow. "You met her online?"

Kululu didn't sweat. He wouldn't give in to his nervousness like that. He'd have to tell Mois when she returned that that was the story they were going with. "Yeah. She's a planet destroyer. She was asking for suggestions which planet her next hit should be. Ku, ku, ku. I was more than happy to suggest some."

Zhuang frowned. That seemed... violent. "Violent occupation, planet destroyer." He tried to make small talk.

"Yep!" This time, Kululu spoke genuinely. "She does a great job of it, too - she has this sort of fascination with finding the fault lines and - " He quieted down, rather embarrassed. He was speaking way too enthusiastically, and that made him a bit uncomfortable. He looked at his thumbs and twiddled them instead.

Zhuang didn't know why Kululu had stopped ranting about how cool his girlfriend was, so he just awkwardly cleared his throat.

"When did you meet in person?" he asked. "How'd you start dating?" He was curious to get more information.

"Ku. Bit intrusive, aren't we? Well, she wanted to meet up so I could point out the planets I thought were most worthy of destruction, and then she fell madly in love with me." He couldn't have been the one to make the first move. It just didn't fit with his character. "Ku, ku, ku. I finally gave in and started dating her."

Zhuang frowned. Kululu's story seemed way wrong; for one it seemed to just serve as just an ego-boost to Kululu. It didn't seem real.

He was happy that he had asked someone to ask Mois about how they had met while the two were separated. Then he could see if the stories checked out.

* * *

Mois waited in line for her food to be cooked at one of the shops. Viper Genius, one of Zhuang's friends, sauntered up to her.

"So you're Kululu's girlfriend, huh?" the Viper asked.

"Yep," Mois easily replied.

The Viper stepped in line behind her to order something. "Can I ask you something?"

"Umm... sure?" Mois didn't know if it was a bad or good choice to agree to the Viper's innocent request.

"Kululu's just so mean... It's just kind of hard to wrap my head around him having a girlfriend. Where'd the two of you meet? How'd you fall in love with a jerk like that?" the Viper asked.

Mois tried not to pale. _We didn't discuss how we met._ She decided to answer half the question. "Well, I mean... he was just so talkative and we just sort of meshed and eventually he won me over with sweet romantic gestures, like flowers! He gave me a lot of flowers!" she answered. She couldn't imagine herself falling in love unless it involved some big romantic gesture. If she wanted to do a convincing job acting, she had to make her story believable for herself.

"So he was the one to make a move first?" the Viper asked.

Mois nodded. "He was so sweet. I don't know why you all think he's a mean person."

"And where'd you meet?"

"Pekopon." She gave the obvious choice. "We both have work there." At least that part was true.

 _When lying, it's best to use at least a bit of the truth._ Mois didn't like lying, but it was necessary.

The Viper nodded, and ordered his food when the line moved up.

* * *

Eventually, Mois returned to Kululu's table, the Viper following her much to her discomfort.

The Viper waved at Zhuang. "I finally found out how they met!"

Kululu's face had paled. So that had been Zhuang's scheme. Send someone else to Mois. Zhuang shot a charming smile at Kululu.

"Maybe next time when we make a bet, you'll win. But I suspect that this bet is over," he whispered to Kululu.

"Me too," Zhuang agreed. Kululu frowned. Mois didn't. She was confident they had at least a little bit of a similar story.

Kululu knew they didn't at all. He had totally winged it. He hadn't put any effort into their cover story at all.

"They met on an online forum," Zhuang explained. Kululu wanted to inch away. Mois just sat down calmly. "She's a planet destroyer and wanted advice for the next planet she should take out. They met for him to give her directions and she f-fell..." Zhuang covered his mouth. He was trying not to laugh. "She fell madly in love with Kululu! Kululu of all people!"

Mois's smile dropped for a minute. That wasn't what her story was like at all.

"That wasn't what I heard. They met on Pekopon and it was him who made the first move with big romantic gestures. Kululu! Kululu of all people made big romantic gestures," the Viper grinned widely. "The stories don't match up."

Kululu frowned more deeply. At least her story was just as stupid as his.

"I KNEW YOU WERE LYING!" Zhuang accused smiling widely. No way could Kululu's romantic life be so successful when his was the opposite.

People all around the tables laughed and smiled, feeling better at the fact that it was a lie and exposed. A Keronian named Pekoko at a table just rubbed his head. "How pathetic."

Kululu wanted to slump into his seat. It hadn't been a day and he had already been exposed?

Mois was still calm. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "Truthfully, that wasn't really how we fell in love. It's just... kind of how I wanted it to be! I mean... I just love romance and romantic gestures like that. Especially people giving other people flowers. I mean, who wouldn't?" Her words were so genuine that it was hard not to believe her.

"So... you lied?" Zhuang frowned. He didn't want an honest confession of Mois saying she lied. And the way she made it sound... It was like she was going to come up with a new story right on the spot!

Kululu perked up. _Thank god Mois's good at back-tracking._ Maybe it wasn't a mistake to bring her. Her genuineness was a weapon.

"But... Kululu lied too," Mois admitted. Kululu frowned.

 _Changed my mind. It was a mistake._

"It was probably the way he wanted to meet, same with me," she smiled, "Sounds like a pretty cool story, meeting to discuss planetary destruction."

"So... So then how did you two _really_ meet?" the Viper asked suspiciously. This time they could monitor their facial expressions and see the stories not matching up.

"On Pekopon, of course. I told you we both work there, didn't I? I was sent to destroy the planet and Kululu was sent to invade it," she explained.

Kululu listened to her story. He finally figured out what she was doing. _Oh. She's destroying our bad stories and trying to put us on the same page so that this issue doesn't happen again._ And she seemed to be merging the truth and their lie. Smart. He had to admire that.

"The Keroro Platoon is stationed on Pekopon at the moment. And Kululu is a well-known member of the four-person platoon." Wakuku, the secretary, verified this story.

"I eventually decided not to destroy the planet at that moment because my Uncle asked me to," Mois went on. "Because Uncle led the platoon, I volunteered to help out and was placed on the tech team."

 _She_ is _merging the truth and our lie!_ Kululu grinned. He could play along with this. "I was impressed because she was a planet destroyer and we started getting along while on the tech team. I started hitting on her, ku, ku, ku... just like a planet..."

"Nice!" Mois couldn't help but high-five him over the horrible analogy. They giggled a little bit.

Zhuang frowned. Real chemistry! He couldn't really argue much against that, even if he wanted to.

"And you know where that went, we fell in love and then I become his girlfriend," Mois explained. "That's how we got together."

Kululu nodded. He could live with that story. It was easier to lie about, since it was so close to the truth.

Zhuang, the Viper, and everybody in the background started whispering. They could find no flaws in the story, sadly. It all sounded like it checked out.

Mois and Kululu smiled at each other, but at the same time, Kululu frowned slightly. If... If he hadn't been faking it with Mois, that would have been the truth. They met on Pekopon and, finding that they shared common interests, fell in love and started dating.

But that wasn't the case at all. Mois was actually in love with the Uncle she had mentioned, and Kululu... Well, he had more important things to worry about than her. Like curry and his inventions and his job, and...

Well, that was it. That was his life. So he couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable at the story she had set out.

It was like a parerell reality of if something had happened to spark between them. If he had made any sorts of actual moves on her, or she had any interest in him.

But that wasn't the case at all. All they were were each other's pretend dates.

"But... I don't understand, why did you lie so much about how you met? There was no reason to say you met on an online forum!" Zhuang pointed out.

"Ku, ku, ku. You said it yourself, I'm a liar. I just lied for the heck of it." Kululu said. "It was fun to rile you up and make you feel like you had something to suspect. Ku, ku, ku, I humored you, and you were pathetic."

Zhuang frowned. That part also checked out.

So all he could do was walk away and leave the couple alone for now.

 _They might have won this round, but... but Kululu can't be telling the truth about her,_ thought Zhuang. _It just doesn't make sense._ What he really didn't want to admit that he had been beaten by someone so evil.

He had hoped that his life had gotten better and Kululu's had gotten worse, like the way karma worked. But that didn't seem to be the case at all.

He knew he'd expose them eventually, though.

* * *

 **Well, when I went into this chapter I vowed "it won't be as slow as the last chapter." But then this happened and it got slower.**

 **I think I need to work on a skill I've never really used of cutting pieces out, because this chapter was way too long and I'm pretty sure I'm going to edit it and it'll get longer. Sooo there's that.**

 **I am deeply sorry. I will try to make things better next chapter.**

 **By the way for all of you who don't know this story is probably pretty cliche, (mostly because my sister loves bad cliches and I can't help but include them) I think the only thing I'm trying to make less cliche is the characterization on Zhuang. So critique me on his characterization please.**

 **Please review!**


	4. Pool

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Forgive me for I have sinned greatly with this cheesy chapter.**

* * *

The bed situation was still a problem, and after a long day of mostly avoiding Zhuang, Kululu was ready for sleep.

 _Crap. Forgot about this,_ he recalled as he looked ahead at the giant bed. _I don't want to be a gentleman! Nobody will tell me that I had a dang gentleman moment and gave something away to someone else._ He wat thinking like a spoiled brat.

"Want to share it?" Mois asked. It was all the same to her, after all they'd be asleep. And she loved sleeping way too much to have anybody spoil it for her.

Kululu paled. That was way worse than sleeping on the floor. _Fine. I'll give it up. I get it._ "No," he responded, "I'll sleep on the floor."

"But..." Mois didn't want him to be uncomfortable.

He merely took a blanket off the bed and curled up on the ground. "I'm fine. I'm used to falling asleep on the floor, because sometimes I fall asleep while I'm working."

Mois looked at him with a bit of worry, but it was already too late. He was pretending to be asleep. Anything to avoid sharing a bed of all things with her.

If they shared that bed, he surely would have had an early grave. There was no way to survive something like that.

* * *

Kululu woke up much earlier than her, hoping to get some work done on various inventions that he could possibly add to his list of things to show off.

Eventually, Mois jolted up from bed, yawning. Kululu glanced at her and instantly regretted it.

Up in the bed, he saw Mois rubbing her eyes sleepily in her pajamas, her hair a bit messy from just waking up. She looked just so... so frazzled and natural, the long cuffs of her pajamas slipping down her arms as she tried to keep herself up right and not plunge right back into bed.

"M-mor... Morning." Kululu tried not to make eye contact or look at her very long. He just sort of looked at the floor.

Mois just yawned again. "I woke up at _morning_?" She was stunned. She had expected it to be the afternoon.

"It's an expression," Kululu told her.

"Oh." Mois eventually pried herself out of the bed and headed to the restroom to comb her hair and get dressed.

"Curry's okay for breakfast, right?" Kululu asked. He knew she was too sleepily to say no.

"Yeah," she agreed before coming out of the bathroom, still just as frazzled and sleepy-looking, except now she was dressed.

It was slightly better for Kululu's composure, but she was still way too cute for him to function. She eventually sat down in front of him at their table as he got out some curry - he had it prepared before she had woken up, and set it in front of her.

She ate mostly in silence with him, way too sleepy to make small talk. She just seemed so easygoing about the whole thing.

Kululu, however was still shaking. _This is way too close... too intimate... too domestic. Not for me. I mean, sure, we've had breakfast together before an invasion meeting or before going to the base, but we've never woken up together... This is just too intense..._

It felt different, and although it meant nothing to Mois because she was half-asleep, it really meant something to Kululu. It felt so different, so unusual, but also that sort of nice, peaceful feeling being with Mois he always had. That _bad_ sort of nice, peaceful feeling.

Mois eventually woke up before her face fell into her curry. "So what's on the schedule for today?" she asked. "What are we supposed to be doing?"

"Today's a free day. I need to work on inventions, but you can do whatever you want," he told her.

Mois frowned. She had actually been referring to their act, but knowing what they were actually doing at TEC was good too.

"Shouldn't we stick together, though? I mean, wouldn't that look more convincing for our act?" she reminded him.

Kululu frowned. She was right. "Fine. This area has lots of activities to do. Choose something and I can set up stuff to work on while you do something amusing. Then we'll technically be together."

"I want to go swimming," Mois decided. "Is there a pool?" Swimming sounded like lots of fun, and Kululu could probably work near the pool.

"Ku, ku, ku. There are many pools. I'll find one that isn't crowded." Kululu did a quick search on his laptop and quickly found one. "This one work?" he asked. Mois gave a quick nod.

Kululu turned away and got some materials ready. "To the pool then."

* * *

It was actually rather hard to work at the pool, to work on inventions. Especially with Mois splashing around in the water in an especially cute swimsuit.

 _Did she have to have a swimsuit similar to her normal outfit?_ Not that he was complaining about the spirals on the front of her bikini - it would certainly give people the idea he wanted about them - but it was a very hot swimsuit. Specifically hot to him. He was a sucker for things with spirals on them.

And it didn't help that she was smiling and waving to him every two minutes either, standing up in the water and stretching, the little water droplets dripping off her skin... Kululu shook his head.

She was very distracting. Extremely distracting.

"Kululu! Kululu! Look at me dive!" She was like an enthusiastic child as she got on the diving board. "Count how many times I turn! You like doing that, right?" she shouted down to him.

He paused. He _did_ like counting how many times she flipped when she jumped off the diving board, but he wouldn't get any work done like this.

But she looked so excited and happy, he just couldn't say no.

"Fine... but only once," he agreed, letting her jump off the board. _Let yourself watch her once, then get back to work. No more getting distracted._ He'd satisfy his urges to watch her for however long it took her to hit the water and then he'd promise that he wouldn't check her out anymore.

Mois jumped and he watched her spin. She was very good at it.

"Nintey-nine," he told her. "Now would you let me get back to work?" He tried not to hiss the words out.

"O-okay," she agreed. He clearly wanted her to leave him alone, so she went back to playing and spinning in the water.

He had to physically pry his eyes off of her. _I told myself I would get back to work!_ She was so cute and so happy, though. He put his hands on his face and dragged his face toward his work. _Inventions first._ He sighed and tried to envision the pieces going together, which thing fit with what.

Finally he found a happy groove of working on his invention and stealing glances at Mois when she wasn't looking. Whenever she looked over to talk to him, he would pretend to be wrapped up in his work.

He made about fifty percent less progress than he should have.

While he was working on one piece and was sucked up in his work, Zhuang managed to sneak up on him. Seeing Kululu working, he was silent for a moment, waiting for a good time to speak up. He was sure Kululu had felt that their bet was over and done with, but he still wasn't quite sure that Kululu and Mois were actually together.

He wouldn't give in. Not yet.

As Kululu worked, he noticed Kululu sneaking glances at Mois, looking at her wide-eyed and in awe, but as soon as she would look over at him, he would shyly get back to his work, pretending he was never looking.

"Why don't you want her to catch you looking at her?" Zhuang finally asked, making his presence known. Anything at the moment he could work with he'd try. Every angle had to be analyzed.

Because no way could Kululu of all people be successful. He couldn't be the winner of this bet.

"Hmmm?" Kululu glanced up from his work and noticed Zhuang. Dread filled him as he realized Zhuang had caught him staring at Mois. He really didn't want Zhuang to make a big deal of it, because then Mois of all people might hear. And he didn't need that.

He hadn't been acting, after all - he had just been checking her out.

"Are you embarrassed?" Viper Genius popped out from behind Zhuang's side. Unlike Zhuang, he just wanted to antagonize Kululu because he disliked Keronians. "She's your girlfriend, isn't she? And anyone would be ogling their girlfriend in a cute swimsuit like that one..." The viper made a lewd remark. "Unless, of course, she isn't your girlfriend and you weren't supposed to be oggling her."

Kululu didn't show fear at the comment, although that was exactly the situation he had found himself in. "Might as well dunk yourselves in the water now, because there's nothing really to get out of this situation," he hissed. "It's a pointless conversation. Ku, ku, ku."

"I just think it's odd that someone who's been dating this girl long enough to bring her on a month-long trip with just the two of you is _embarrassed_ at looking at her play in the water." Zhuang tried to sound calculating. "Suspicious."

"I'm not embarrassed!" As a gut-instinct, Kululu denied that he was embarrassed. He stopped before he denied that he was looking at her, too. _It actually benefits our fake relationship more if I was looking at her... But I really don't want to admit to that, because I did it unrelated to the acting._ He tried not to look at the corner of his eye to see if Mois noticed he was in a pinch. She did not need to be listening into this conversation. This was something he really didn't want her to be included in.

She hadn't yet noticed, to his relief.

"It's just... I was trying to work." Kululu was calmed at the fact that she hadn't been listening in. "So I don't want to be looking at Mois, it's distracting."

Zhuang and the Viper looked at each other.

"Who kind of guy puts work over his cute girlfriend?" Zhuang asked.

"Especially when she's in a swimsuit," the Viper added, looking at Mois, something Kululu didn't approve of much at all. He glared at the Viper.

"Well, you do, Zhuang. Remember your wife dumped you because you put work first?" Kululu reminded. Zhuang sniffled a bit and covered his face with his arm, trying not to cry. "Ku, ku, ku."

Mois's head turned, and she finally noticed Kululu surrounded by Zhuang and the Viper. She hopped out of the water as she heard Zhuang's stiffled sobs.

Kululu looked down, realizing Angol Mois was approaching. _No! I don't need you for this situation! Do not listen to this conversation. I know you're supposed to pretend to be my girlfriend, but I can deal with this on my own._

Mois smiled as she approached them. She crouched next to Kululu so they could be closer to eye level.

Kululu tried desperately not to shake as she looked at him. That would definitely give him away, but she was just so incredibly cute and happy-looking, even a bit hot, dripping wet from her swim...

He wanted to faint. He wanted to die. His life was flashing before his eyes as she slowly tugged at his arm.

He was a goner. He was going to faint and humiliate himself and he regretted every major life choice he had made.

"Kululu, why don't you come play in the water with me?" Mois suggested, knowing it was best to get Kululu away from Zhuang and the Viper. Arguing against them wouldn't prove anything about their relationship. Actions would.

 _Yep. I regret every decision I made. I should never have gone to TEC. Never become an inventor. I should have become a great curry chef and lived in the wilderness as a hermit. That's what I should have done with my life,_ Kululu thought.

"Well? You going to go play in the water with your girlfriend?" Zhuang asked, trying to recover from his tears. He tried to be the cool guy who could actually lead a group of people against someone. He crossed his arms, but his face was still stained with tears. But seeing Kululu was helping - something odd was happening. The expression on Kululu's face as Angol Mois pulled at him made it look like his brain had exploded. He looked almost dead.

Kululu tried to get himself back to reality as Zhuang spoke up. "No!" he finally refused, swatting Mois's hand away.

Mois looked a little surprised. Didn't he want to act like a couple with her?

The Viper grinned widely. Kululu was finally showing his true colors. He didn't want to play in the water with this girl or have her near him.

Kululu actually was thinking something very differently. _I can't leave Zhuang alone with my stuff. He'll just steal my designs again._ He glanced over at his half-built inventions. "I mean..." He realized the Viper was grinning. He was beginning to suspect something, wasn't he?

" _Please_?" Mois pouted. She had no idea Kululu was afraid of people stealing his inventions. Her hands dropped from his arms to his hand. Maybe all that hand-holding practice would finally be worth something. She smiled at him and held his hand. Being in front of people and knowing it was all an act... for some reason, it reassured her. Holding his hand as long as it wasn't just the two of them wasn't as hard. It gave her confidence when other people were there.

However, Kululu was the complete opposite. Whatever fear he hadn't had with Mois touching him had completely disappeared with her cute smile, pouting, and everyone watching for any sort of negative reaction he could have.

Despite himself, his legs started shivering and his hands quivered. His heart was pounding as he tried to breathe and calm himself down to figure out a way out of this, to communicate to Mois that he couldn't leave his inventions and to try not to let Zhuang and the Viper see how absolutely nervous he was.

Zhuang raised his eyebrow, though. He had noticed the quivering. Kululu didn't even look like he could piece together a sentence to explain why he didn't want to play in the water with Mois. _He's obviously inexperienced interacting with her._ Zhuang wanted to gleefully giggle. This was the sort of evidence he needed.

Mois noticed how nervous Kululu looked. He was obviously giving them away. "All right, if you don't want to play in the water, why don't I stay here?" she smiled, trying to find a happy medium. "I can help you work on your inventions or something! And then we can spend more time together!" Her voice didn't even carry a fake sappy tone. It was just full-on sappy - which was completely natural for her, of course.

"Sure." Kululu relaxed a little more. This way he wouldn't have to leave his inventions.

Mois glanced at Zhuang and the Viper. "Would you mind leaving, please? We don't need anyone looking over our shoulder." She quickly shooed them away, but in a polite way.

Both of them looked at each other and did as she said. Zhuang glanced over his shoulder at Kululu. He was giving himself away, but whoever he had asked to help him with this charade was just too nice to confront.

He decided to watch them from the sidelines from a sun-chair. He was out of hearing distance, but he could still see every one of Kululu's twitches.

Kululu sighed as Mois sat next to him. They were gone, for now. Mois scooted a little too close to him, though, obviously seeing that they still needed to continue their act.

Kululu wanted to bolt up, to run away, but he couldn't. _She thinks she's helping, but honestly, she's just making me more nervous and it's really hard to keep calm._ "Stop getting so close, you're making me all wet," he complained as she accidentally dripped a bit of water onto him.

"Maybe I want to make you wet," she giggled. Kululu just shook his head and looked at her. He quickly realized that was a mistake, because she was still immensely cute. He scooted a bit away and tried to change one of the fuel tubes in his invention.

Mois noticed his distress. "What's wrong?" she finally asked. His nervousness had almost given them away that time, and maybe it already had, unless they could find a good excuse. He had looked so very inexperienced with her. She had thought he was the more dedicated of them to this act, but he was failing so very badly at the moment. And she wanted to know what she could do to make him more comfortable.

"Nothing," he lied.

"Really, something's bothering you." She tried to stop her fake flirtatious tone and take up a more friendly one. "What can I do to make you more comfortable?"

"Take off that swimsuit," Kululu said quickly. Way too distracting. He had gotten into this problem originally because of his like of it and how distracting it was.

Mois looked around for a moment. She didn't see anyone close enough to be listening in on their couple act, so she wasn't sure why he had made such a weird request. "In public?" she whispered, astonished.

Kululu fervently shook his head. "That isn't what I meant at all! I meant can you change into something a little less spiraly? Or distracting?"

Mois grinned. _So he does think someone's listening in and is acting!_ She could play along with his fake reason for embarrassment. "Are you saying that my appearance is distracting to your work, Kululu~?" Her voice was low and very flirtatious. She sort of lounged in front of him, not really understanding that he was being serious.

Kululu felt like he would explode. Sure, she was fake flirting with him, but he wasn't acting this way for show. If he could stop, he gladly would, because he really didn't want to be so distracted by her.

She crawled over to his inventions and put herself in front of him so that it was very difficult to not look at anything but her in her cute swimsuit. "That's sooo adorable," she said. She brushed her hand against his chin, angling his face more up to hers. "Is that the reason you were acting so nervous?" She really wanted to know the real reason, but it was probably something dumb like "you were looking at me." Typical Kululu.

"Mois, now you're making it _really_ really hard to focus," he confessed.

"That's my job as your girlfriend. To gain your constant attention," she teased. "But I suppose you're right, we should get to work. You wanted to make these inventions, right?" She had done enough acting. Now time to actually help Kululu.

She took her hand off of Kululu's face. He breathed a sigh of relief and let his heart steady. No heart attack for him that day.

"What do you need me to do?" Mois asked again.

"I already told you, please change into something different." Kululu begged. Mois just looked at him blankly.

 _I'm not acting right now. You don't need to pretend you were embarrassed because I was really hot,_ she thought to herself.

"Please just act like a normal person," he begged as Mois continued staring at him. "Y-you... You're being way too cute and d-distracting. I can't focus on anything, Mois," he said. Hopefully now that he gave in she'd be easier to deal with, although it was really awkward.

He hated having to tell her the truth.

 _Ah. He's still acting,_ Mois realized. "Okay, I'll change into something different, but after we finish working you have to promise to play in the water with me!" she tried to negotiate.

Kululu frowned. She was still playing along. She was so close to him that he could lean over and this could work out. He could get Angol Mois to stop all this. He stood up and got closer to Mois, leaning over to her ear as if to kiss it.

Mois could feel her face heat up, but instead of feeling his lips, she heard him whisper, "I'm not acting, Mois. Your cuteness really _is_ distracting. It's... It really is making me lose my composure with this act. So please cut it out," he told her, then withdrew.

Mois looked at him in shock as Kululu gave her a quick nod.

 _Wait... so, he really was just nervous and frazzled because he found me really cute and distracting? I thought he was lying about that!_ She didn't know what to feel - embarrassed, maybe, that what Kululu had told her had been the truth. She was blushing quite a bit. "Um... I... I had no idea..."

"Yeah, I know you didn't. Now, will you please change? It's all well and good when I don't have a million people watching my every reaction and I'm trying to work on something important, but it's really distracting and troublesome, you taking up all my thoughts... Uh, I mean... Just change, got it?" he requested.

Mois nodded, incredibly confused and a little flattered. _I took up all his thoughts?_ It was so weird to know whatever conversation they were having was real, though. It made her stomach all weird and fluttery.

"I... I would love to have you help me work, though. Can I have you run some things on your laptop?" he asked.

Mois gave a quick nod. He was trying to change the subject, but she was fine with that. She quickly left to change and get her laptop.

* * *

"I still want to play in the water with you after we're done," she smiled at Kululu, running tests on Kululu's inventions with her laptop. "I think it's a fair trade for my work." She felt more comfortable now that they were working together. It was something she was used to.

"Ku, that's mean. You know I need you here instead of over there," he said. "You know I can't say no, so it's an unfair bargain."

"You could say, I learn from the best?" She shot a quick smirk to him.

He grinned. "Can't argue with that," he figured. "Fine... I'm not happy about playing in the stupid water with you, but you won it."

* * *

He didn't like playing in the water and mostly stuck to the shallow end, but Mois eventually dragged him to the deeper side of the pool.

It ended up being quite beneficial, because he clung to her a lot so that he wouldn't fall into the water. It made them appear much more like a couple.

"This is fun, right?" Mois asked, smiling at him and holding him. She didn't mind holding Kululu if it was keeping him from dropping into the water and probably falling to the bottom out of sheer laziness.

Kululu twitched as he saw Mois looking at him. The close proximity, her staring at him while he was in her arms. It was too much for him.

"Actually, I think I'd rather drown," he admitted. He let go of Angol Mois, pushed her away, and fell to the bottom.

It was a much better alternative than having her sparkle and stare at him. Much better.

* * *

Zhuang watched from afar on his sun chair, working on his own things. He couldn't help but glower at Kululu looking like he was having fun, in his girlfriend's arms and playing in the water.

He had thought for sure Kululu was faking it. He seemed way inexperienced with dealing with her. But the more he looked at them having fun, the more it seemed like that wasn't the case.

"No. It can't be true. Bad things happen to bad people, so no way could he have lucked out with this happiness," Zhuang frowned.

Kululu lying was the only explanation he could think of as to why a person like Mois would date him.

He couldn't have been happy. He couldn't have won their bet. Zhuang just couldn't process that.

"You don't believe him, either?" Wakuku asked. By her side was a different keronian, Pekoko, a Non-Keron who ran a large corporation. The Viper followed behind them. Kululu had wronged them all at some point and now they wanted revenge.

"It just can't be. It doesn't make sense," Zhuang pointed. Kululu had just dropped into the water, probably for fun. He hadn't surfaced yet.

"We'll expose his lies. After all the things Kululu's done, he deserves to be humilated," the Viper reassured Zhuang. Zhuang took the lemonade by his side.

"To proving that bad things DO happen to bad people!" he toasted.

They raised their own lemonade glasses and drank.

They'd expose him, one way or another. Although they hadn't previously formed an opinion, his embarrassment and inexperience made them believe that he really was lying.

Now they just needed proof.

They'd expose Kululu, no matter what.

* * *

 **At least this chapter was shorter.**


	5. Bragging

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Geez...Why is this going so slowly? Why am I writing so many words per chapter for basically two characters? I write less when more stuff is happening for other stories.**

 **Boy, am I really inexperienced with relationship building and fluff.**

* * *

Another day had gone by, and with the next day, new obstacles presented themselves.

Waking up, Kululu didn't let Mois sleep in this time. They had a full day ahead of them. He shook her awake.

Rubbing her eyes, Mois yawned. "Is... Is there something you need?" she asked.

"Yeah. We have a full day ahead of us. Today isn't a free day like yesterday," he told her. Mois waited for some more information about this non-free day. "I have a presentation. It's pretty professional."

"Why's it so important?" Mois wanted to know.

"You're supposed to show one of your best ideas or inventions, if you're an inventor. At the end of the convention, you show a new idea that's better and more improved to prove that you aren't some one-trick pony. Ku, ku, ku. And believe me, I'm _not_ a one-trick pony," Kululu bragged, despite what everyone else said about him. He waited for Mois to back him up and reassure him of this fact.

"Of course you aren't. You have lots of ideas." As expected, she agreed with him. And Kululu relaxed.

"I would appreciate it if you went up stage with me and held up my invention. Ku, ku, ku. I might have been lying when I told the Captain that the reason I was bringing you along was to market things better with a pretty girl, but that technique isn't wrong. It could help me a ton."

Mois's smile dropped a bit. She had been planning to help him anyway, but the way he suggested it... It made it sound like he was just using her sex appeal to market his stuff. She didn't like that.

 _To be fair, though, that WAS why he brought me... Because I was a girl and he needed a fake girlfriend,_ Mois reminded herself. She was used to doing this sort of thing for Kululu, and she did enjoy dressing up and showing off his inventions, but she didn't like the way he made it sound like she was just some sort of pretty girl and that was why she was helpful. Not because she was his friend or because she was smart, but because she was a girl.

"So, you up for it?" Kululu asked.

Mois nodded. She had agreed to help him out for this month and she wasn't about to ditch out just because she was uncomfortable. She could bring it up later that she would rather not just hold inventions; it wasn't like it was THAT much of an issue.

"Good." Kululu grinned and went over to his suitcase. Rummaging through it, he eventually found what he was looking for and tossed a long black dress at her. It was fine and sleek, with the back sloping downward. And it was in her size. "We'll have to dress professionally for the presentation, so you'll have to wear that." Then he got out a similar black suit in his size from his case.

Mois went off to put on the outfit and came back out with her eyebrows raised. It was the perfect fit for her Angolian form. How long had he had it? "How'd you know my size?" She knew he knew her size in her other form because he liked dressing her up in outfits and taking pictures, but she hadn't modeled for him in this form. How long had he had this dress prepared?

"Ku, ku, ku..." Kululu just laughed. She couldn't tell if it was a sinister laugh or a nervous laugh like he didn't want to answer. "Lucky guess?" he lied.

 _Maybe I don't want to know,_ Mois realized. _You could say, some things are best left secret?_

* * *

She met him outside their room, holding a small purse with her phone in it. "When's the presentation?" she asked.

"Six o'clock. But I want to get there early to degrade - I mean check out the competition. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu quickly tried to cover up that he was going to be a jerk.

Again, Mois decided maybe it was best not to question it, again. Worst-case scenario, they'd be chased out of the convention. Kululu looked like he had a lot of experience hurting others at this sort of thing. It was the main reason he had so many enemies.

Kululu grinned as he looked Mois up and down. "Ku. I knew that dress would look good on you. Am I a design genius or what?"

"I would hope that _I_ at least contribute to how good it looks," Mois nervously laughed. Boy, did Kululu love complimenting himself. _I guess from all the compliments and all he's been paying me lately I just expected he'd say I was pretty or something. But the compliments are mostly for show, so..._

"Ku. Don't worry, you do. You look amazing," he told her, picking up on the nervous laughter. Apparently complimenting himself wasn't the way to go with social interaction. Who would have known?

Mois glanced at him. As soon as she looked over, he turned away from his enamored staring. Tinting slightly pink, she looked away so he could stare again.

Sometimes she couldn't tell if he was acting or not. But if he was acting, he was sure a good actor. Right now he looked like he was looking at her quite starry-eyed, and as long as she pretended not to notice, he continued doing it.

 _I guess I can handle this._ She was actually feeling quite flattered by the attention Kululu was giving her, despite not knowing if it was real or not.

She kind of liked it.

* * *

The two headed to a giant hall filled with inventors fixing up the invention they had chosen to market. Parts were piled high in a junk tower, free for use, and each person seemed pretty enraptured in what they were doing.

"Do you need to be working?" Mois asked.

"Ku! Course not. Yesterday I already finished what I've been working on," Kululu explained.

"What is it?" Mois asked.

"A sticker that you can put on your body that forces people to worship and follow your orders like you're their leader. Ku, ku, ku. You might guess who inspired it. I had plans to use it on the Captain, but I suppose I can market it here..." he spoke.

Mois frowned. _Oh boy. You could say, Uncle dodged the bullet?_ Kululu seemed more and more irritated at Keroro's actions lately. She wasn't sure why. Maybe he was feeling a bit like Keroro would never lead them to victory?

She may have been in love with Keroro, but she knew Keroro was never going to invade that planet. And although she was perfectly fine with that, she couldn't imagine how stressful that might be for someone in his platoon.

She pitied Kululu a bit for being in that position.

As Mois thought about the stress Kululu might be feeling and glanced at inventions, she got a bit lost, and Kululu drifted from her side.

She had just assumed he was loosening screws and ruining lives, but she quickly found him surrounded by a small crowd, consisting of Zhuang and some Keronians.

He looked like he was chattering away, and she really hoped he wasn't getting in another fight denying that they were really a thing. _I wonder if I should go in and help him?_ She knew Kululu was turned away from her, so he couldn't see her as she entered the crowd, but she couldn't help but feel a little curious about what he was talking about.

So she listened in.

"So about your girlfriend - " Zhuang's smirk was playful, but he looked like he was trying way too hard. He had never expressed this level of suspicion toward anyone.

"What do you like so much about her? What's she like?" Pekoko, a small white Keronian asked, cutting off Zhuang. He wasn't as antagonizing as the rest of them toward Kululu and Mois's relationship, but he _was_ very confused why they were dating. Or, more importantly, why she would date him.

"Oh? You want to learn about Mois? Well, sit your butts down because there's a lot to talk about. Ku, ku, ku," Kululu laughed.

Angol Mois couldn't help but smile despite herself when he said that. She had never really had positive experiences of walking in on someone talking about her- The only times she had ever heard someone talk about her actually was Tamama, and that had been an experience on its own, although she had promised to forgive him afterwords for all the 'man-stealing whore' comments he made. But the way Kululu made it sound like it sounded like he had a lot of positive things to talk about.

And since he was pretending that he was in love with her, she knew she'd get to hear a lot of nice things about herself, and she couldn't help but blush as she tried to figure out what Kululu would say about her. At least some of the things that came from his mouth had to be what he truly felt, right? He couldn't just wing it and say a bunch of unfactual things, could he?

"She's the Lord of Terror. Her occupation is destroying planets, but ku! I'm dating the Lord of Terror. That must be much higher standards than who you guys date. I mean, you wouldn't even have a _chance_ with her. Oh, and being the Lord of Terror she has all sorts of privileges..."

Mois frowned as she listened. _Hey, wait a minute! This isn't about me or my personality or anything about me... He's complimenting and bragging about all my birth rights!_

"And she can change into any form she wants to blend in, and she's pretty much the princess of her tribe and she's a very spiritual species who exists on another plane..." Kululu didn't speak about anything that was actually related to Mois as a person; he just mostly ranted about how cool her species was.

And the more Mois listened, the more she felt wrong about listening to the spiel. He was very clearly bragging very happily, and using her status to further his own. It didn't sound like he liked her at all; rather, it sounded for their act that he was in love with the idea of her species. Not her.

Had he asked _her_ , specifically, so he could borrow her status instead of because he needed someone to help him out of this bet?

She wasn't going to stand by and listen anymore. She plowed through the crowd and got Kululu's attention.

"So this is where you were, Kululu!" she smiled, trying to act like she hadn't listened into any of the conversation. "I was looking all over for you!"

"Oh? I thought you were right behind me. You weren't?" Kululu asked. He didn't even pretend to be concerned. He was way too busy bragging and lecturing people on Angolians, despite not being one of them.

"I wasn't. But it's all good! Let's look around some more!" Mois suggested. Before Kululu could protest, she picked him up and carried him away from the crowd he was bragging to.

He tried to get away to go back to bragging, but she carried him far, far off.

* * *

When she was positive they were in a hallway and out of speaking distance from everyone, she brought up her concerns and put him on the ground.

"Ku, sorry that you got lost. You weren't on your own too long looking for me?" Kululu asked. Mois frowned.

"No. I joined the crowd to hear you bragging." She crossed her arms.

"Oh, that? Great idea, huh? I mean, it was nice to get it in their minds how much I like you. Bragging seems like the perfect way to both rub in their faces how miserable they are and further our relationship. I should have thought of it a while ago. Ku, ku, ku." He didn't seem to see the point.

"Kululu." Mois shushed him. "It won't show anyone how you like me if you only talk about the abilities I got since birth. It makes it sound like you're more in love with my species than me," she pointed out.

"But... I'm not," Kululu defended. "I just think Angolian stuff is cool. I mean, you're an Angolian and you're... never mind." He piped down before saying that she was cool. _Really, it was HER that made me want to look into the species more, so I'm not sure what the big issue is?_ Kululu didn't see the problem about bragging about her species. "But I mean, who gets the chance to date the Lord of Terror! None of _them,_ certainly." Kululu looked pretty proud.

"I'm not just the Lord of Terror, Kululu!" Mois's voice grew a bit louder, but she quickly covered her mouth to prevent herself from having an outburst. "I just mean... I don't have a problem with you bragging about me, but just please next time talk about actual qualities that _I_ have opposed to just my natural abilities that I was born with?" she begged.

"Do I have to?" Kululu asked. Mois nodded, very uncomfortable by his mindset. Kululu sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks," Mois smiled at him, trying to communicate how much she appreciated it.

* * *

Luckily, he had another chance to prove himself very soon when they got back to the hall. Pekoko approached him again, followed by Zhuang trailing after like a lost puppy.

Kululu smiled. He was ready to brag.

"I just don't understand... is there anything about her that you actually like that's _not_ because she's a certain species?" Pekoko had picked up on the same problem Mois had.

"Yeah... seems very suspicious to me." Zhuang acted like an edgy punk child, trying to find anything to expose. "Liking her for just her species... She'll leave you soon, if that's the only reason you like her."

"I suppose you'd know a lot about people leaving others," Kululu retorted. Zhuang tried not to cry. Kululu glanced at Mois and gave her a smile, like she had predicted something very important. She had given him the proper advice. "Course I love more things about her than her species." Kululu talked to Pekoko instead of Zhuang.

"Like? An aspect of her personality? Something that's about her not as a species?" Pekoko asked. Kululu knew Pekoko was someone he was looking for - a rich individual who ran a business, so he wanted to get closer to him in a more buddy-buddy manner.

Kululu thought for a moment, not actually having figured something out on the fly. What could he say that would make him sound cool for having her as his girlfriend, and wasn't too close to the actual truth of what he liked about Angol Mois so he didn't actually have to feel awkward about saying it?

"Well?" Zhuang noticed the silence. Mois rubbed her arm, noticing the silence too.

"Sh-she's... v-very pretty..." Kululu finally answered when he was prompted to be quicker. A little caught off-guard, he eventually felt more courageous about his original statement. "She's extremely beautiful. In fact, the most beautiful person in the universe. And she's _my_ partner. Ku, ku, ku. Isn't that great for me?" And he was right back to bragging, this time talking up Mois's looks to make himself look better.

A crowd formed just like last time. Apparently people thought listening to Kululu's mysterious answers of why he was dating Mois was better than finishing their important projects.

Mois, surrounded by the crowd forming around Kululu, couldn't help but feel hurt again. _Why didn't he mention anything about my personality? Why couldn't he brag about that?_ Was she really just good looks and an Angolian to him? They were friends, so he must have something to go off about _her_ , right?

Or... had he just brought her for the same reason he asked her to hold his inventions? To look pretty and make the product look better?

Was she really just sort of trophy? Even though she had happily agreed to play pretend with Kululu and she knew he didn't really think of her as beautiful, she couldn't help but feel extremely hurt. _I'm more than that to him, right?_ Or was he her friend just because it was beneficial to him?

She closed her eyes and tried not to listen too much to him brag. She tried not to doubt their friendship too much. But she couldn't ignore how hurt she was.

* * *

It took a while to remove him from that crowd as well, but soon enough, they were doing what he actually set out for, looking around people's inventions and Kululu bad-mouthing them until the person who created it cried.

"Kululu..." Angol Mois had been awfully quiet, "Why didn't you mention anything about my personality when the Keronian asked you what you liked about... well... my personality?" she finally asked. Kululu glanced at her, looking as if he was shocked that she even asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kululu asked.

"No?" She shook her head. She didn't know what was so obvious about it.

"If I mentioned how kind you are, that would be a dead give-away that we weren't dating. I mean, can you imagine me _actually_ dating a kindness vampire like yourself? Ku! No, not in a million years! And I'm sure everybody else thinks it, too. They'd be so confused why I was dating you," he explained.

Angol Mois bit her lip. She didn't speak or retort at all. She knew that was how Kululu felt about her personality, but now it hurt her that he thought of her so one-dimensionally. He didn't actually think that way, right? She had interests besides staring at him and being sparkly. _I'm beginning to doubt that he knows I have any interests besides that, though._ She was frowning, but Kululu didn't seem to notice.

"Not to mention that saying you're kind wouldn't do a thing for my reputation. And that's what this pretense is for," Kululu shrugged. He remained unaware that his comments were hurting Mois. She started to walk much slower behind him.

* * *

They came upon someone's stand that Mois was actually interested in. She put her arm in front of Kululu before he went forward and nit-picked every little piece of their design.

"Incredible!" she complimented the booth owner. "It's so interesting how you decided to use this kind of chip for enhanced interglactal accessibility." She examined one of their cell phone designs.

 _Cell-phones, that's something I know and like,_ she thought to herself. She considered herself an expert in them, after her decision in having made her Lucifer Spear mimick one. This phone's mechanical setup seemed very clever. And the design was cute, too.

The person running the booth looked up at her in confusion. "A lot of fancy words you're using there, Miss. Do you even know what they mean?" He held up the phone.

"Of course I do," Mois said with a frown.

"Well, someone who just came here because their boyfriend is part of the convention obviously doesn't know a thing about the chips and cards I use, so stop pretending like you do," the person glared.

Kululu winced at the insult, as Angol Mois just looked shocked at their words.

"Ku ku ku. Can I be a jerk again now?" Kululu asked. He was more than happy to critique the device into oblivion.

"Why would you think I don't know about cell phone chips? I work in communications." She brought up her cell phone angrily. "Cell phones are my life! I'm very experienced with them! I know all about the chip you use, how their original functionis to more quickly and cost-efficiently connect to intergalactal networks and so you're taking advantage of that feature to extend it to basic accessibility."

"Scary you know things about cell phone chips. Did your boyfriend tell you to say that?" the person yawned.

"Why would you think that? I have a brain!" Mois pointed out, her voice was tense and on the verge of yelling. She had never felt this angry, not even that one time when her facade slipped and she had to get Kululu to shove her in an Angol stone.

Feeling awkward listening to this conversation, Kululu merely reprogrammed the phone to constantly dial the rejection hotline whenever a call was made or a new command was put in. He then stepped away, letting Mois have some privacy and hoping she'd insult the design and develop a taste for ruining people's inventions. It would be fun if they could do that together.

She didn't, though, and as soon as Kululu stepped away, the cell-phone merchant answered.

"Well, you look like you're just beauty. No brain. I mean, that's why he's dating you, right? He pretty much said it himself when he couldn't name a thing about your personality... Although I can hardly blame him, you do look pretty nice - "

Mois quickly pulled out her Lucifer Spear and blew up his stand. Then she turned and walked off.

"Oh... I was expecting you to insult his technology, but that works, too." Kululu joined her side as she put her Spear away, not realizing how miserable she felt.

She ignored him. "Let's just keep on going."

* * *

She really wanted to enjoy TEC, but the more she walked around, the more she heard whispers and comments about her. Words like "trophy-in-training" uttered over and over again, and various comments about how she was a real catch.

Nobody listened to her when she insisted things about her hobbies that were math-related or that had to do with researching tectonic plates and geography and earthquakes. Nobody seemed to believe her. They just turned away, remarking on what a pretty face she had.

And Kululu remained oblivious to how miserable she was and how puffy her eyes were as she tried to bite back tears. He just kept talking about how much fun he was having. He enjoyed all the tears he was causing.

"Did you see that guy? After I pointed out a faulty wire, he ran off to his mom. Ku, ku, ku. Gold." Kululu wiped away a tear from laughing.

"Uh-huh." Mois just nodded and pretended to be listening. She really didn't care at the moment. She knew it wasn't technically Kululu's fault that everyone assumed she didn't have a brain, but she did want some reassurance from Kululu that she was more than looks. But he didn't seem focused on anything except him at the moment.

"Maybe there's a faulty wire in _him,_ " Kululu continued jabbering, waiting for Mois to laugh with him. She didn't. He glanced up at her and shrugged. Perhaps her humor was just way too nice to make fun of people.

* * *

It appeared that Zhuang was the only one to notice that Mois was looking sad. Maybe it was just easier for him because he was at eye level with Mois and he could see her fighting back tears. Watching Kululu ignore her, it was very apparent that if they _were_ dating, he was at least a sucky boyfriend and they wouldn't be dating long.

 _He doesn't even like anything about her except her looks. Maybe he just chose someone pretty he met on Pekopon and begged her to do this charade._ He was about to walk up to Kululu and tell him he had seen through his pretense and had evidence this time, but stopped.

He'd let this one fall to pieces on its own. After all, with the way Kululu was acting, Mois would get fed up soon and leave. And hopefully he'd be there to see it.

Then he'd be the one laughing, just like Kululu laughed at him.

* * *

Kululu was about to brag to another person about Mois's looks, but she pulled him aside.

"Please just stop," she requested before he spoke..

"But I was just going to brag some more. I think I've figured out a schedule - bash inventions, brag, bash inventions. Ku. It makes us able to actually do things and keep this relationship together," he pointed out. "Didn't you say you wanted to help me?"

"I do!" she insisted. "But I don't like you bragging about my looks!"

Kululu stepped back a moment. "Wh-what? Why?" he asked. This was the first time she had outright said she didn't like it. Had it seemed a little too real to her and made her uncomfortable?

"It's making people think I'm just some sort of pretty dumb girl. Like I'm just looks. Like that's the only thing about me. So please... stop," she begged.

Kululu looked a bit shocked as he processed this. She seemed really distraught, but he just couldn't understand how people had reached this conclusion that she was _just_ looks. In fact, the way he had made her sound, he believed that he had spoken about how amazing she was. Sure, he hadn't said anything about her _besides_ how amazing her looks were, but didn't her other qualities go without saying? "But of course you're more than looks," he pointed out.

Mois couldn't help but smile. That was what she had been waiting to hear all day! She put her hands on Kululu's arms and smiled at him. "But they don't know that. And I don't like how you're making it seem..."

"I just don't understand, wouldn't it go without saying that you are more than that?" he asked. He scratched his head, fully confused. This couldn't be that big a deal, right? Maybe she was seeing things wrong. It was impossible for anybody to ignore how sparkling and amazing her other qualities were. It couldn't just be him.

He didn't really believe her. But he didn't have time to argue with her. It was almost 6 and time for his presentation. "Come on. We'll talk about this later," he told her.

She nodded. At least he was willing to listen. That was more than Keroro had been willing for anything.

* * *

People filled the area, crowding two at a time onto chairs. Even though everyone hated Kululu he was still a brilliant inventor. Kululu stepped on stage with Mois by his side. She held the stickers, as well as a few guns and other devices - backup inventions - in case anything went wrong.

As Kululu began his presentation about his devices' chemical compositions and how they worked and all sorts of things, Mois just stood there.

She noticed the man who she had blown up earlier was sitting in the front row. "She looks more like the invention than the actual invention does. Are we sure she wasn't invented too?" The rude comment was loud enough for everyone to hear.

Mois took a deep breath, as someone started laughing with him. She glanced at Kululu to see if he had noticed, and he looked a bit silent and shocked.

She realized she had to deal with this herself. She carefully set down Kululu's invention, confident that he had spoken about the best points about it, and knowing that they had the stage.

"I'm not inanimate. I've got more computing ability than any of your cell phone chips." Mois pulled out a whiteboard from out of nowhere to learn this fella a thing or two.

Kululu just grinned as he realized what she was doing. He wasn't picky on how someone started critiquing other people's inventions. "Roast them alive." He gave her a thumbs up and the stage.

Mois took a deep breath. "All right - so first of all the type of chip you've chosen to use for your specific cell phone design conflicts with that particular's data reception because with any regular phone that chip would enhance accessibility and intergalactal transcommunication; however, because your company has designed your latest phone to compensate for battery charge by inserting an electroprygenator, the phone will overheat and the chip will melt, rendering all changes - and the phone - completely useless. You could say, total rip-off? Of course, you shouldn't worry about expecting too many sales in the first place, thanks to your limited target base and your derogatory marketing strategy of questioning every knowledgeable female customer who comes your way." Then she started writing down a bunch of numbers and making a whole bunch of equations on the board. "Your projected numbers for company revenue are also faulty." She giggled a bit. "I'll designate 'alpha' to represent the inevitable decreasing satisfaction of your customers by solar month. Take the derivative of this equation, and now you see how your phone's price will drop exponentially! The debt of your company for all the loans and royalties you paid to the original creator of that patented chip would increase by approximately 11.8 zeroes. Also your offered cell phone plans can't possible extend to as many planets as you claim as shown here..." As she went on, the white board got more and more crowded with her numerical expressions.

The crowd was impressed. Quickly, everybody wipped out pens and papers to check Mois's math, but it was all correct.

If there was one thing Mois was very good at, it was math. Especially fractions. She had to learn it all to figure out how much power to use with her Lucifer Spear to destroy a planet, after all. She just grinned.

"In fact, we noticed that a lot of your phone's computational ability is based off of incorrect programming due to several equations that don't match up. Let me show you." She was happy enough as silence filled the room and no one made another comment about how she was a beautiful invention.

After she had exposed all the math mistakes, she just smiled and put her white board marker away. "As you can see by my math that you're all realizing is correct, I am just as smart, if not more, than many of you. You could say, brains versus beauty?"

Everybody was silent and shocked that she actually had a brain.

"Sorry I interrupted your presentation," she told Kululu. "I know it was important to you." But Kululu was just grinning widely. He wasn't complaining in the least bit.

Instead he clapped. "That's my girlfriend!" he cheered. A few others started clapping for her exploding the cell phone man.

Mois's eyes widened in awe at the cheers she got. She started smiling and looked at Kululu and how honestly proud he looked at her.

 _Maybe he just honestly didn't realize his comments were hurting me? He doesn't look like he meant any harm._ And she was a little happy about how proud he seemed to be. This sort of bragging, that she was his girlfriend, even if it might not be true, was something she could get behind.

* * *

After all the presentations were done, with comments from Kululu about how sucky the designs were, Mois tried to talk to Kululu about not talking about just her looks.

But before she could speak to him alone, he slipped into a crowd again to brag. She sighed. Had he not learned his lesson at all?

She decided to listen in on what he was bragging about this time.

"Ku ku ku, yup, you all heard that back there - my girlfriend is incredibly smart. You wouldn't believe how many skills she has, her innate fractioning and equating abilities is just one of many... On our tech team where we work, she's even learned how to use my technology. Ku, she's one of the smartest people I know, and by far the fastest learner, way smarter than any of you... And she's passionate about so many things. She's such a passionate girl, you haven't heard her rant about fault lines yet or seen her turn planets to dust but when you do you'll question all you know. She's got so many skills and things about her that it would be hard to list them..." Kululu was finally talking about something other than her looks.

Mois grinned from ear to ear as she heard all the nice things Kululu was saying about her. And they didn't sound like they were just fake to further his reputation - although admittedly that might just be her being hopeful. He sounded honestly proud of her.

She covered her face, smiling so much that she wanted to somehow contain all the joy she was feeling so she wouldn't embarrass herself, or so Kululu wouldn't notice how much his words meant to her.

Zhuang charged through the crowd, seeing that this wouldn't fall apart like he had predicted. "She sounds like a perfectly fine girl, but you can't deny that she's not your girlfriend now... Or at least that you're the suckiest boyfriend in existence!" he pointed out.

"Put a sock in it. This is getting old. What reason do you have to doubt us now? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu asked.

"This entire day you haven't noticed how much your bragging has hurt her. She's been at the point of tears all day. And you didn't notice because you were only thinking of yourself." Zhuang crossed his arms. "Or maybe you did and you didn't care because you aren't together."

Kululu turned to Mois. He honestly _hadn't_ noticed. But now she looked like she was smiling now, melting from all the affection and compliments he was showering on her, but a few nice words wouldn't make up for it if she had been miserable all day.

And he honestly felt a bit guilty for not noticing now. _Ku. Naturally, it's only Mois that would make me feel guilty._ She had been nice enough to help him out. He shouldn't have been making her uncomfortable or make her feel bad. He approached her, ignoring Zhuang's comments.

He didn't really want to do this in front of everyone, since it wasn't for show and he wanted her to know it wasn't for show, but he had to tell her instead of letting her mope more. "I'm... I'm sorry," he apologized.

There were gasps in the crowd. Nobody had ever heard Kululu apologize before.

"I had no idea you were miserable. I should have been more observant. I brought you here so I should make sure that you weren't totally miserable," he said to her. "I had no idea talking about your species and your looks so much hurt you. I honestly thought I was just saying good things about you..." He wished she somehow knew he was telling the truth. He had a suspicion of what he could do to make her feel better, though.

"I forgive you," she told Kululu. She knew that Kululu hadn't really meant to hurt her. He had just gotten a bit too intense with his bragging.

"Ku. You're incredibly forgiving." He sighed. "I have the kindest girlfriend ever."

"Kindest?" Mois recalled him saying that he hadn't wanted to mention her kindness. She looked confused. But Kululu just grinned.

"She's way kinder than all of you. The nicest person I've ever met. She's so nice she could kill someone!" Suddenly he started bragging about her niceness. "Even if Katie were here, Zhuang, Mois would beat her in niceness. Mois could beat anyone in kindness. I mean... that's the reason I fell in love with her. Her kindness is one of her most amazing qualities."

Mois's smile shown with a radiance that would have blinded Kululu if he didn't turn away. This kind of bragging she could get behind.

 _He's... no longer ashamed of how nice I am?_ And since he had said it might damage his reputation, it meant that he had accepted it, or cared more about her opinion than theirs. Either way, she was happy. So happy she would have hugged him if she wasn't so embarrassed about them touching so much.

Kululu looked at her and her happiness and felt like he had done something right.

And Zhuang felt like he had done something wrong as their relationship was miraculously repaired.

"Thanks," Mois whispered to Kululu while nobody could hear.

"I didn't do it for you," he whispered back. "It's true that you're unbelievable kind. They should know how amazing you are. After all, you're dating the best guy here."

She just grinned. A bad day had turned into a good one. She was glad Kululu had learned his lesson.

* * *

 **Please review!**


	6. Kiss

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **This chapter is not that good. It's way disorganized and I was going to edit events to be different but instead I'm going to try to jump into the next chapter before I procrastinate on it.**

 **(I basically took a long break and then tried to write this story again.)**

 **The electric banjo part is for my sister, and is devoted to her. I mostly wrote most of this chapter for her.**

* * *

Although the previous day had a bunch of bumps in it, the next few days passed uneventfully without much trouble.

Not many people bothered Kululu any longer about his relationship with Angol Mois, besides Zhuang, a Viper, and two Keronians by the names of Pekoko and Wakuku. In fact, honestly they didn't care about his relationship issues. They had their own problems to deal with.

Although there were only four main perpetrators against him now, Zhuang wasn't actually the main issue. In fact, he was more of a little thorn in Kululu's side. He wasn't loud like the Viper and Wakuku. He was able to juggle his time between actual work and suspecting Kululu.

The Viper was a problem, though. Whenever Mois and Kululu weren't acting exactly lovey-dovey, he would jump out of seemingly nowhere - usually a shrubbery - and make a big fuss, gathering a crowd. Kululu couldn't gain prospective clients with that sort of noise and attention.

Luckily, Mois was getting a lot better at acting. Kululu had suspected that they'd probably fail terribly after he had discovered how embarrassed she was about casual touching, but she was getting a lot better about it.

The two sat on a bench, mostly just making various meaningless chitter-chatter. They had finally shaken off the Viper, for now.

"Hopefully things will get easier from now on. I think they're letting up after you scared them at that presentation. Ku, ku, ku. You really damaged all their pride, didn't you?" Kululu almost felt pride well up in his heart at Mois's actions. Harsh criticism deserved pride.

"I think they think I'm a better match for you now," Mois giggled, licking an ice cream cone that she was holding. She scooted closer to Kululu to make them look more like a couple. He had to remind himself not to flee desperately from the scene.

"...Do you think I'm doing better?" Mois whispered to him. Her arm that wasn't holding ice cream entwined around him, pulling him closer. "I mean, with the touching... I've been doing it a lot, right?"

"I've noticed..." Kululu tried not to let his dread seep through his voice. "You're doing fine. But I don't think it's needed right now. We're not being watched."

"Oh. I just thought if someone did approach, it would be better to already be holding each other than to do a desperate scramble," she said.

"Ku, ku, ku. I didn't know you wanted an excuse to hold me,~" Kululu teased. Although Mois was getting better about her embarrassment, Kululu didn't want to lose it for good. After all, it was a valuable piece of protection against her. So whenever he could spare some teasing he did.

Mois's arm snapped off of him as she blushed. "You know that's not the reason I did it!" she defended. "I wanted to help you!"

"Yeah, help me by _cuddling_ me. Ku, ku, ku. It's all right, I know you want the Kululu." Kululu just laughed and laughed. She turned redder and redder.

She turned away from him, deciding not even to answer him and fuel his teasing. Instead, she tried to change the subject. "Is that Dasosu Maso?" She pointed over to a stage where Dasosu Maso was trying to sing and dance.

"Yep. He probably sneaked into here. I mean I can't imagine him honestly getting an invitation." Kululu dropped the teasing to glance over at his old friend. "Ku, ku, ku. So weird to think I was in a _band_ with that guy."

Mois's face smiled in realization. "That's right! I came with you to learn more about your old life and your old friends. And he was one of those friends, right? You could say, like Uncle and Kogoro?"

"Ew. Please never put me on their level," Kululu grimaced. But it was sort of true. Dasosu Maso was his personal Kogoro.

Mois smiled, and Kululu was filled with dread about what she was going to ask. "So, you were in a band with him?"

"Everybody goes through a lame band phase in their younger years," he defended. "At least mine ended, unlike Garuru's."

"Will you perform for me?" she begged. "I'd love to see you perform a song." Her eyes were sweet and innocent, and Kululu knew he'd give in if he kept looking at them.

"No. No way." He shook his head. "Anyway, Dasosu Maso won't even agree to that..."

Mois stood up and waved over Dasosu Maso. "Hey, would you mind performing with Kululu? He wants to perform a love song for me, his girlfriend."

Kululu's eyes narrowed. She played dirty. Using the girlfriend card to her advantage was something she was getting good at.

"Of course, Kululu is groovy. Meow!" Dasosu Maso spun.

Kululu just glared. He did not want to be roped into this.

"I can't wait to hear you sing!" Mois clapped.

"Ku, ku, ku! You'll be plenty disappointed, then. I wasn't a singer. I played the electric banjo. Dasosu Maso sung. Our band prided ourselves on being the worst band in the galaxy!" Kululu boasted. _I'm going to get back at you for making me do this._

Mois frowned. Her eyes became wide with fear as Kululu wipped an electric banjo from out of nowhere and got onto the stage with Dasosu Maso.

As promised, their song was devastatingly horrible. People all over dropped to the ground, clutching their ears.

 _At least I'm learning more about him..._ Mois tried to look on the bright side as her eyes filled with tears. It was bad. Really bad.

* * *

Her ears were still ringing hours later. And Kululu's laughter didn't help.

"I can't hear you... Please stop," she begged. But Kululu just laughed. Luckily, Mois knew exactly what to do to shut him. She put her hands on his, putting her practice to good use as she stared deep into his eyes.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Kululu asked. His face started steaming as she quietly caressing his hands and gazed at him. He felt shaky. _Darn me for teaching her how to hold hands with me. She's too good at it now!_ No longer was she embarrassed, but instead she seemed to embrace the fact that she genuinely enjoyed it. It was this sort of serene calm of just being together.

Of course, Mois couldn't hear Kululu's pleas to stop and so she continued doing it.

"Kululu?"

Relief washed over him when he heard someone call his name. It was one of the last four Keronians who was antagonizing him - Pekoko, he believed. Nobody important, nothing he really cared about or had a history with, but one of his targets on his list of people to impress due to his large company.

"Yeah?" Kululu lightly unentwined his and Mois's fingers. It wouldn't help to get all embarrassed while talking to someone.

"I'm sorry for thinking you weren't dating. You two are clearly in love and I shouldn't have let my judgment of the previous person that you were get in my way. I can't convince Viper Genius or Zhuang to stop bothering you, but I did want to apologize." He bowed apologetically.

 _Another one bites the dust,_ Kululu thought to himself. "Ku, ku, ku. No problem. I didn't really care about your opinion, anyway." He did. He just wanted to sound cool.

Pekoko nodded. "Have fun with your girlfriend!" With that, he left him.

Kululu grinned. That was one less problem to deal with. And he was sure he could convince the other three.

* * *

Mois wasn't so sure, though. In the last few days she had pushed herself to the limit of practicing touching Kululu and acting like his loving girlfriend. She was extremely affectionate to further his act, and as long as she just breathed calmly and repeated the words "this is fake" in her mind, it was all good.

However, for every time she got better at the act, Kululu got worse. The casual touching that she seemed to be doing much better at, he seemed to be actually getting worse at doing with frequency and practice.

It would get so bad that when they were alone that Kululu would just drop to the ground, gasping for air, since apparently he hadn't been breathing while she touched him. He was terrible at it. And she wasn't sure why.

 _Is it his fear of me? Did I absorb his courage?_ Kululu did great at talking big about their relationship, but when it came down to it, he couldn't do any of the acts a relationship entitled. And although a lot of the simpletons had fallen for his speeches, the smarter of the groups didn't seem to fall for it at all. And that included Zhuang, the Viper, and Wakuku.

 _Wakuku..._ Mois tried not to get to awkward when acting in front of the other Keronian. That was the only one she stumbled in front of. Wakuku was the only one there with a connection to the Keroro Platoon, after all. She handled all the letters and documents going back to Keron from them. And with a connection to the Keroro Platoon, there was a connection to Keroro, her beloved Uncle. _Although I don't feel that ashamed of helping Kululu, I don't want him to have to learn about any of this._ She didn't know how he'd react. Would he fall for it just like all the other simpletons? Would he lose interest in her and always think of her as Kululu's girlfriend? Would he never ever make a move on her? She didn't want to think about it.

And for that, she faltered.

"How long have you been together?" Zhuang was constantly trying to cross-examine the evidence of their relationship, like a Phoenix Wright rip-off.

"Three years," Kululu answered. They had tried to sort out their story alone so they wouldn't run into conflicting information again.

"You don't look like you've been together three years," Zhuang noted.

"Ku ku, probably because we're thousands of years old," said Kululu.

"No, I mean you don't look like that experienced of a couple. You're constantly squirming and twitching whenever she touches you. You've probably never even kissed. Heck, I've never seen it," he said.

"Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it hasn't happened, ku ku ku," Kululu pointed out. But he glanced at Mois awkwardly. It was true what Zhuang had said - they had never kissed in front of anyone at the convention. Heck, it wasn't even a thing they discussed that was on the table for their pretend dating.

Kululu suspected kissing would be a bit too far for Mois to do. Especially when she was in love with someone else.

"But how do you explain how inexperienced you seem to be with dating her?" Zhuang shrugged. "After three years of a relationship, shouldn't you be more comfortable?"

Kululu paused. _It's because we're not in a relationship._ He couldn't even imagine a day he would be knowingly comfortable with Angol Mois. That was _way_ far in the future.

He just ignored Zhuang. Mois had pointed out denying things and feeling antagonized by Zhuang's attacks wouldn't help anything. They didn't need to kiss to prove a point.

And he knew he had limits. He would never request that Mois kiss him just to help his pride.

* * *

"We should probably talk about it," Mois told him alone.

Kululu was bewildered. "Kissing?" That was off the table, right?

"No! That isn't what I meant." She shook her head. "I meant, your... um...v ery obvious discomfort when I touch you. Zhuang's right, it does look a lot like inexperience," she mentioned. Kululu breathed a sigh of relief that that was what she wanted to discuss.

"Not my fault. I can't change it," he insisted. He would have changed, if he could. It was just his body did all sorts of gross biological responses to her touch... His temperature would rise, his heart beat would quicken, and it was like all sorts of gross worms were in his stomach.

He would have liked to say he was sucking so bad at this because he disliked it so much, but the fact was those sort of responses came from the opposite - he _liked_ being touched by Angol Mois, holding her hand, having her arm around his body. Anything, really. He liked it maybe a it too much. And for that, he was really uncomfortable.

"Just try to remember it's all pretend. That it's going to end in a month. That's how I get through it." Mois tried to be supportive and helpful.

It didn't help. _I know it's pretend. That doesn't help change the facts that I like it. It just makes it worse that I react this way._ Why couldn't he be like Mois, counting down the days until this was over?

Instead, he was in this gross limbo of wanting it to last and wanting it to be quickly over.

"Look, just pretend I'm someone else if it's really a problem for you. It makes things much easier!" Mois tried to encourage.

Kululu nodded. She was right. He needed to get better about this, or else they would never convince everyone and this bet would never be over.

* * *

He got a bit better trying to just close his eyes and imagine that Angol Mois was Giroro. Giroro was enough of a turn-off to make things a bit more comfortable.

But Zhuang still kept teasing him about the latest issue he had found, how their mouths hadn't gotten anywhere near each other. How they never kissed ever.

Kululu just ignored this issue. _Never ever going to suggest that to Mois,_ he kept reminding himself.

He was sure it would fade away eventually. And she had never really brought it up.

* * *

They were at a level of comfort that they were able to not hang around each other constantly at the convention and could talk to other people.

Mois chose to use her time talking to Wakuku when Kululu and her decided that they could spend an hour or two away from each other.

 _I have to make sure she doesn't talk to Uncle regularly or something,_ she reminded herself, approaching Wakuku.

Wakuku didn't notice her until she was right next to her. "The Angolian," she realized.

"I prefer you just call me Mois," said Mois.

"Where's Kululu?" asked Wakuku.

"Working," she answered. "We don't need to be around each other constantly." She paused as Wakuku took a drink. "I wanted to ask you something about the Keroro Platoon..."

"Don't worry, I know your story about working with him on Pekopon is legit. Keroro's put it in some of his reports that an Angolian works with him," Wakuku told her.

"Oh? Um... why don't you believe me and Kululu then that we're dating if you know it's true?" Her heart soared. Had Keroro mentioned her in a few of his letters in an affectionate way? Was there hope for their relationship?

"Because it's very obvious that you're not together. I mean, really, you're extremely affectionate in front of other people, almost like you _want_ to prove something. But you've never made the effort to do anything too affectionate, like kissing. I suspect you have someone you're already dating on Pekopon and you don't want to cheat on them or something," Wakuku answered. "Am I right?"

Mois frowned. That was partially right, but also Kululu and she were exclusively friends. Kissing was too far for this fake relationship.

She chose not to answer.

"Originally I thought Kululu would never get a girlfriend; I mean... he's so... weird. But I've got to admit it takes guts to fake something of this magnitude. Especially with someone he clearly has problems dealing with. It kind of impresses me," Wakuku admitted.

"Wait... so you think we're faking, but you're not mad?" Mois was confused.

"No," Wakuku responded. "Why should I care about this stupid bet. I mean, he didn't wreck anything of mine. I don't make things, I just report on them for the Keron Army," she told her. "But really, it's kind of impressive what he's done just for his reputation. If he plays his cards right and makes it look like he could be a good boyfriend to you if you guys were for real, he actually could probably get a real girlfriend," she observed. "I mean, he's not in style now, but perhaps he'll get in style. And when you're an investor, you've got to count on those sort of things."

"W-wait... what do you mean? What are you talking about?" Mois was super confused. This conversation where she had just planned to make sure Wakuku didn't have a lot of contact with Keroro made it sound more and more like Wakuku was completely fine with her and Kululu faking because she was interested in Kululu herself.

Mois didn't know how the conversation had led to this, and how to feel about it.

"If he needs a girlfriend that bad, I'd be willing to date him," Wakuku admitted. "You're his friend, right? You'll relay the message?"

Mois just blinked as she heard this. She really wasn't sure how to react. _I'm his fake girlfriend, though. This... This is really weird._

She just shook her head. "I think you're mistaken. I'm dating Kululu. So I can't relay this message to him." She tried to be kind.

"You're really going to stick to that story? I won't tell Zhuang or Viper Genius," Wakuku reassured.

Mois just turned away. Maybe she didn't want to ask Wakuku any more questions. It would just make their relationship more suspicious.

She walked away.

* * *

She really didn't know how to feel. Should she be happy for Kululu, and despite what she had said, relay the message to him? He probably wasn't that interested, since the whole reason he needed her to pretend to be his girlfriend was because he wanted to make no effort to find a real girlfriend, since he didn't _want_ one.

Should she feel worried then that Wakuku suspected them so incredibly much? Kululu probably wouldn't like that.

Or should she feel just a huge amount of shock? That seemed to be what she was stuck in at the moment.

Her previous thoughts about Keroro were shoved to the back of her mind as she tried to think about this current issue.

 _If he DID want a real girlfriend, and I got him hooked up with someone so he didn't have to pretend, what would happen then?_ It was a bit hard to imagine Kululu acting as affectionately with someone else as he had with her. In fact, the actions they took together, all the touching, had just sort of become normal and it was hard to imagine anyone but her in that role.

 _That isn't very fair to think about. I'm in love with Uncle. I'm not really in this role._ She knew there was nothing to be worried about. Kululu was interested in curry, not people. But something in the pit of her stomach still made her feel intense discomfort at the idea of Kululu with Wakuku.

 _He's my fake boyfriend. Not her real one,_ she decided. This was their act. And they were in it together. That was probably why she was feeling such discomfort. She was just as committed to pretending as Kululu now. She had a stake in this.

Once she felt that way, she felt much calmer. _Now I just have to decide what to do._ Wakuku believing this to that sort of level wouldn't benefit them at all.

And she knew exactly what she and Kululu would have to do to seal their charade.

* * *

She made sure to be in front of Wakuku when she met up with Kululu again. Wakuku was sitting reading over some notes.

"How was your latest presentation?" Mois asked, trying to be polite as she knelt down to Kululu's level.

"Fine. What did you get up to?" he asked.

"I just sort of chatted with people. It was lots of fun," she told him. Her eyes communicated that it wasn't fun.

Kululu got closer so he could whisper to her. "Was someone suspecting us?"

She nodded.

"The usual people?"

She nodded again.

"Nothing we can do about it at the moment," he told her. "Their points are valid and I'm not going to make you do anything like that for our charade."

Mois put her arms around him, drawing him closer. Kululu squeaked for a moment, surprised, but knowing she probably just wanted to talk quieter.

"Wh-what if you kissed me right now in front of all these people to just sort of... you could say, seal the deal?" she asked.

Kululu gawked. "What?" He hadn't expected her to suggest that. Obviously whatever she had heard while she was chatting had changed her mind completely. Someone must have _really_ suspected him.

"It's just one little kiss. It can be quick, and then we'll never talk about it again. I'm sure it could help our story," Mois insisted.

Kululu thought for a moment. She was right. And it was definitely something they needed to do. They couldn't get away with never kissing. He just had never expected Mois, of all people, to be the one to suggest it.

 _If she's really that fine with it... I guess it couldn't hurt,_ he tried to tell himself. He wasn't sure why she wanted to go this far. Was she _that_ dedicated to helping him, or could he afford to try to think it was a different reason? "If it's only a little one," he agreed.

Mois tried not to blush. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to concentrate. "Sh-should... Should I do it, or should you?"

"Ku, ku, ku," Kululu laughed. _She really tried to initiate this. But I guess she's still embarrassed._ "I can." He made sure to look around and wait for the pivotal point when people were glancing at them.

He then leaned up when that point was reached and kissed her on the lips. He didn't wait - he didn't want to dance around what had to happen, nor did he want to focus on it too long.

 _It's just an action. It's like... putting your mouth on a glass of water._ He tried to keep himself focused. It was supposed to be a quick kiss. Quick, painless, emotionless.

But it wasn't anything like that. Instead, he felt Mois's lips pressed against his, kissing back so they weren't awkwardly like statues and her hands moving up his back to his head, stroking upward to have a more comfortable hold on him.

Kululu could feel his legs weakening. He grabbed onto Mois's shirt to steady himself, accidentally deepening the kiss, like it was some sort of plunge off a cliff.

Her grip on him tightened as her kisses grew softer, more unsure of what she was doing or when she should stop. He opened his eyes briefly, glanced up, moved his lips off of her for just a brief moment so he could see what she was thinking.

 _Not what I had in mind. That was NOT a little kiss,_ Kululu realized. Her face was very flushed, and her shoulders were shaking, like she wasn't sure what to do next. Should she move away, or say something sweet to complete their act?

Kululu saw her distress and slowly put his lips back on hers, giving her a sweeter, shorter kiss. This seemed to calm her a bit, like she had realized she didn't need to think when his lips were on her. So he just continued it, eventually bringing one of his hands up to caress her cheek, knowing she somewhat liked that and that she wasn't staring at him - the best part.

He had long since forgotten that they were being watched. It was irrelevant. His hormones had long since taken control of their little kiss.

He knew he shouldn't be enjoying this, shouldn't have been continuing it beyond a few short seconds, but he desperately wanted her on him. It was something he had always been afraid of. Because he knew it would end.

 _I'm doomed._ He painstakingly brought himself to reality, pulling himself away from her. It should have really only been a little kiss, but now they were breathless and it had gone on much too long.

 _That... That wasn't as bad as I thought. In fact it was so not-bad, that I can't even deny that it was good._ He hated this. He hated that he had given in to one kiss. He had crossed the line.

He glanced at Mois, trying not to embarrassingly avoid eye contact and to show her he hadn't enjoyed it. She was smiling almost to herself, glancing over to Wakuku who had gotten up and thrown her hands up in defeat.

 _So that's who was bothering her,_ Kululu deciphered. But he noted that after Wakuku left, Mois was still smiling and looking at the ground, obviously still running through the hormones that she had experienced from being kissed that long.

 _Maybe... Maybe she liked it as much as I did?_ Kululu dared to hope. Maybe there wasn't any reason to feel bad. After all, her face was just as flushed as his, and she was glancing over at him like she wasn't sure what to do next and was very embarrassed about what she had done.

Kululu gave her a small little smile. He was about to reach up and stroke her hair, but he paused, remembering something she had said previously that day.

" _Just pretend it's someone else._ " That was the advice she had given him for their act. And it was very likely she used that advice to get through what they did.

 _That means... probably the entire time, she tried to picture me as the Captain. Gross. But believable._ He tried not to frown.

"That was good." He put on a fake tone, just for show. She glanced at him but quickly realized he was pretending, just like he was supposed to.

"Oh yeah. Ummm... lots of fun!" Mois agreed, suddenly avoiding eye contact with him. She looked very awkward about the whole thing.

Kululu nodded, but didn't talk to her anymore about the issue.

* * *

It had done the trick. Quiet obviously it had convinced at least Wakuku. So it had been worth it.

 _I'm glad I helped Kululu._ Mois was still trying to steady herself. She hadn't expected kissing Kululu to be so intense.

Holding hands had been bad. Holding each other on Easter Island had been worse, but kissing took the cake. It made her feel all weird. But the sort of _nice_ weird. She still wasn't sure what excited jitteriness her body was experiencing.

Her mind just kept on visiting the moments where his lips had been on hers, his hands tugging at her shirt, the moments of breathlessness between them.

She just couldn't shake it out of her head. She wanted to stop thinking about it. It really should have just been a short little kiss, but they had both gotten carried away. And she wasn't sure why. Had it been her fault? His? Or both of theirs?

Either way, it had been undeniably amazing. So much that she couldn't even look him in the eye. She didn't even want to talk to him about it.

 _Get a hold of yourself. You shouldn't be enjoying kissing Kululu. You're in love with Uncle, and this is pretend,_ she had to remind herself. She couldn't let herself read anymore into it.

Geez, was it difficult to pretend to be in love with someone. She hadn't expected it to be so hard when she signed up for this. But it was making her all confused.

She had to remember where she stood. She was Keroro's girl. Not Kululu's.

* * *

"I'm going to go back to our room and read," she finally spoke to him. She was way too embarrassed to function properly around him.

"Fine." He seemed to be a bit distant from her. She wasn't sure how he could be not as embarrassed and breathless from their kiss as she was. But for some reason, he was distant.

She nodded and headed off to their room to nap and read. This would give him some time to work on actual things on his own.

He didn't get back till much later. Two in the morning actually. And he looked quite tired.

"How are you doing?" she asked, yawning as she lay in bed having just been asleep.

"Too tired to talk." He plopped down next to her, instead of his spot on the floor. She had hoped he could talk now that they were alone, but instead he fell asleep.

 _I thought he didn't want to sleep with me, though._ She shrugged. She didn't mind. He looked so tired, after all.

She tucked him in and went to bed herself.

* * *

 **Wow I'm procrastinating way a lot on this story and I want to finish it but I'm just getting way de-motivated. I might have to put this project on-hold until I feel remotivated again. Because as you can see the writing is suffering.**

 **I think mostly the problem is I was interested in it more as a one-shot but it's a full length story now because it doesn't work as a one-shot.**

 **Hmm...What do you think I should do?**


	7. Mine

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **I feel like the chapters are getting shorter. And that is good.**

* * *

Kululu snuggled up to whatever warm, soft thing he was next to as his mind slowly started tuning into reality. He sub-consciously took in its nice scent, feeling calmer.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, realizing he was next to something and he wasn't just dreaming. Seeing Angol Mois curled up next to him, it took a moment to register that he had spent the night in Mois's bed.

He bolted up, falling off the bed in fear and pressing himself up against the wall.

Mois yawned and opened her eyes, hearing him falling off the bed. She saw him wheezing and looking at her in fear.

"I... I spent the night in your bed..." he realized.

"So?" she asked. "I don't have a problem with it."

His eyes twitched. "Why not? You're usually so embarrassed about other things!"

"I like sleeping with you. You're plushy-sized!" she grinned. He couldn't tell what he should focus on more. That she had said she liked sleeping with him or that she had said he was plushy-sized.

He eventually peeled himself off the wall.

"You can continue sharing the bed with me, if you want. I'm not bothered by it - it's probably a lot comfier than the floor." She tried to be kind.

He paused for a moment, thinking. Every fiber of his being told him to say "no" to this offer. That it was a stupid offer. But the bed was comfy and a part of him didn't actually mind the idea of snuggling with Mois every night.

That would probably just make his situation worse, though. How much closer could he get to Mois before they crossed a terrible line?

"Fine," he grudgingly agreed, "But only because it's a soft bed."

Mois smiled and clapped. "Good!" She quickly got out of bed. "So... about yesterday..." She knew they should probably talk about their kiss.

"Yeah. We kissed a little. At least they can't say we've never kissed before." Kululu tried to pretend he didn't really care, and just dismiss whatever conversation she wanted to have. He really didn't want her to state the obvious, like "that was pretty long for a little kiss."

"W-we..." Mois felt her breath catch. She wasn't sure what she was about to suggest, but she knew it was a stupid decision. "We could probably continue doing at least a little bit of that to further convince them. Like... kisses on the cheek and all. I mean, they're right that if we never kiss, it does look a tiny bit odd, especially when we keep trying to look super affectionate." She tried not to look at him after her suggestion.

 _Why am I suggesting this? Am I really that devoted to helping him?_ Maybe she was; maybe she just really wanted to help her friend. But she was beginning to suspect that she just really liked kissing him and that she kind of wanted to again.

It gave her mixed feelings that she had liked it that much. Kululu was her friend - she was supposed to be there to help him. Not to kiss him. Not to actually fall for whatever act they were doing.

She had Keroro already. This was like mentally cheating on him. Not like she and Keroro were actually together.

But she still felt bad for her crush.

She just was really inexperienced with how to deal with hormones.

Kululu looked up at her, genuinely shocked by her suggestion. "You sure you don't have a problem with it?" he asked. "Ku, yeah, it would benefit our act, but kissing's a bit... far. I mean, I have no problem throwing away morals and stuff to further my own gain, but you have actual morals and standards specifically about romance. You sure you're comfortable with it?" he asked. "You've been helping me out a lot just out of the goodness of your disgustingly pure heart. I... I don't want to oppose _too_ much."

"I'm fine with it," Mois reassured. "I do have standards about romance, but I'm your friend and I want to help. And I think we both knew that the conversation of kissing would come up eventually from this charade."

Kululu didn't seem convinced. "You sure you're okay with it and can handle it?"

"Positive," she agreed. "I can do it if it's to help you."

"You sure you're not just suggesting it because you _like_ kissing me?"

Mois sputtered as Kululu narrowed his eyes at her. "E-excuse me?"

"Ku, ku, ku. Gotcha, I was just teasing." Kululu laughed at her distress. He knew she probably had a problem of separating her hormones and her feelings, and there was no harm in her actually enjoying it. She clearly did, at least a little bit. She just had her own mechanisms for making it better, like imagining someone else was there.

"You were?" Mois asked.

"Yep. Because... if you were just suggesting it since you _liked_ it, there would be no need to do it in front of everyone. We could just do it right here.~"

Mois's face turned pink and she covered her face.

"Man, I am getting better at acting! Ku, ku, ku. You fell for that one too?" he laughed.

Mois jerked her hands away from her face. "You were teasing _again_?"

"Yep. Gotta practice flirting with you, after all," he assured.

She didn't look happy. "Don't do that when we're alone. I don't like you pretending when nobody's watching."

"Fine, fine. I promise I won't do it again," he said. "Now let's go out and kiss in people's faces until they're so disgusted about our lovey-dovey relationship that they bow down to me like they promised."

Mois giggled at his proclamation.

* * *

Kululu mostly just kissed Mois on the cheek and hand, now that she had given him permission. He especially liked doing it in front of Zhuang and the Viper.

There was no need to go any higher. And that amount of kissing was pretty tame on both of them, although he did hate it when Mois turned the tables and kissed _him_ on the cheek. It was way worse and cute and he couldn't handle it.

Zhuang's suspicions were still there about their relationship, but whenever he was about to speak up, Kululu would just kiss Mois's cheek, and Zhuang left, not wanting to see their lovey-dovey display.

Mostly he did it when they were just in front of crowds.

"What are you working on now?" Mois asked him as Kululu put together some intricate invention. Unlike what Zhuang believed, he hadn't just come to this convention to date Mois, he also came to market his invention.

"Mind-reading device, inspired by the Kilulu. I can probably sell it for _tons,_ " he told her. Mois made a face. "Don't worry, I won't test it on your mind." She looked calmer.

Eventually he finished the device and clicked it into his headphones. It was made for headphones, after all.

"I'm going to test it now. So be quiet," he told her.

She nodded. "You could say, as quiet as a mouse?"

Kululu didn't congratulate her on getting a phrase right. Instead he listened to people's thoughts. He tried to focus on a specific subject so he wouldn't get over-whelmed.

 _Mois and me. Let's see what they think of that. That'll be my test._ He focused on that and got tons of people's thoughts.

Unlike what he thought, the thoughts weren't all respecting him and how he had won the bet. Instead it was focused more on Mois.

"She's pretty cute, isn't she?"

"He did say a lot of good things about her. Kind of makes you believe it after a while."

"She's a way higher standard than him."

"Maybe if she wakes up and dumps him I can date her."

"Lord of Terror, huh? I think she might have killed my family. But I misplaced them so..."

Kululu took the headphone device out of his headphones. He wasn't sure how to take all their thoughts about her. _If she dumps me they can date her? Ku. They don't have a chance with her. She's not interested._

He didn't like what he heard. Sure, he had bragged about her a lot, but he never assumed that would make people interested in her. She was his co-worker, even his friend. And that was weird for people to think.

"Did it work, Kululu?" Mois asked.

Kululu was shaken from his thoughts. "Yeah, it worked fine. This invention is a success, thanks to me."

"Good job!" Mois clapped happily.

But Kululu was still thinking about all the things he had heard. Unlike Mois, he didn't want to beat around the bush at the threat of other people flirting and being with her. He didn't want to have to fake being jealous.

 _I better just kiss her in front of everybody until the idea flies out of their head._ She had given permission for those sorts of things, after all. And he wasn't below taking advantage of it just because he didn't want people thinking she'd dump him and they'd have a chance.

 _She's mine. At least, that's what they should think. She's not really, but I'm going to rub this sooo hard in their faces._ He loved ruining other people's dreams.

"Do I get a congratulatory kiss?" he asked as she praised his mind-reading creation.

"Huh?" Mois hadn't expected him to ask.

"Do I?"

Angol Mois finally nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Kululu grinned, trying not to show his embarrassment.

"Too short, Mois," he told her, feeling confident at the idea that he was doing this to rub it in people's faces. Mois blinked and gasped for a moment as he placed his lips on hers and pulled her down to him.

She happily kissed him back, trying not to enjoy it too much. After a few moments of intensely awkward kissing, Kululu pulled away.

"Better," he grinned. She just blushed, wondering if she should regret this decision to give him this sort of power in public.

* * *

He started kissing her a lot more in public, specifically in front of others. In private they could act as normal as they did usually and it was a welcome relief from their charade.

"I'm going to have to kiss you a lot more tonight. That's fine, right?" Kululu checked just to make sure.

"What's tonight?" Mois asked.

"A sort of fancy banquet. But Zhuang will be there and I really want to rub it in his face that we're an item," Kululu told her, "since he still hasn't apparently gotten the idea."

"It's fine, then," Mois nodded. "Um... Kululu? You've been kissing me a lot more on the... well... lips. Why not just use the cheek?" she finally asked.

"Ku. Easy. Lip-locking with you is much more intense than kissing your cheek. It convinces them a lot more," he told her. "Why? Do you not like it?" Had she finally woken up and decided to stop?

"Um... no, it's not that, it's just... I'm really bad at it. I have no idea what to do when we're doing it and it's... awkward," she admitted. "I get way too embarrassed and freeze up and... I hate to ask this, but if we're really going to be doing it that much, can I have a practice session?"

"P-practice session?" Kululu tried to run through what she had asked. They had never kissed alone. And honestly, the only reason he was getting through it was because she was embarrassed and he was rubbing it in people's faces.

"Just like on the train," she explained.

"B-but... But we'll be alone," he pointed out.

"Yeah. So it'll be okay if I mess up." Her eyes were wide and innocent, as if she didn't realize the gravity of what she was suggesting. "You could say, second time's the charm?"

"Third. Third time's the charm," he corrected. Their second practice session. He thought about it. It wasn't that he had a problem kissing Mois, but what she was really asking for were _slow_ practice kisses. "Fine... but, umm... don't laugh or anything if I can't do it," he requested. "I'm still afraid of you."

"Got it," she smiled. "Could you close your eyes, Kululu?" she requested politely. Kululu swallowed and nodded, trying to steady himself up against a wall.

If she needed to practice it, it meant she'd be the one initiating. And he wasn't sure if he'd survive that. He was going to die. He closed his eyes, trying not to hold his breath as her soft lips pressed up against his. She tilted her head so it wouldn't awkwardly bump against his so much, and she softly and slowly just sort of experimented with kissing him.

She was just so curious. And only she could have him pressed up against a wall and still make it innocent. Kululu's body was shaking as her hand seemed to try to explore where was most comfortable to rest, it eventually landed on his hips to steady him.

 _Am I swooning because I'm really into this or because I have a lack of air...? No it's definitely lack of air._ Kululu had forgotten to breathe and pushed her off, gasping for air.

"Are you okay?" she asked as he wheezed.

"Y-yeah..." he said. "It's just..." _I can't do this, it's too hard. I'm way into it and embarrassed._ "Nothing, continue. Get your darn practice." He tried to play it cool.

She smiled and let him breathe for a few minutes before pressing herself up against him again. This time she tried parting her lips a bit, and he felt her hot breath against him and her sucking very gently on his lip...

"Okay, that's enough practice, you're doing fine." Kululu quickly wrestled out of her grip before he collapsed, or worse - started kissing her back with some sort of ferocity.

His kisses would be saved for public. And, most importantly, for rubbing into people's faces.

"I was doing fine?" She tilted her head to the side. "So I'm okay at this?"

"Very. I mean, you did fine. You don't need any more practice." _I can't take it._ "We should prepare for that banquet. Not... umm... make out. Sorry, it's just weird doing it alone. I mean, I promised didn't I? That we wouldn't do those things alone."

She nodded. "If you really think I'm good, we won't have to practice anymore."

"You're good," he reassured. _REALLY good_.

Mois smiled. She was glad she was getting better at this.

* * *

It was pretty easy to get to the banquet. Kululu dressed up Mois in his fancy black dress for her.

He expected Zhuang to antagonize him again when he sat by the two of them. To try to get some information that conflicted. But instead, he just sat in front of Mois and spoke to her.

"How are you enjoying the TEC?" he asked.

"It's lots of fun!" Mois chattered chipperly.

"I know. I'm super glad to be here," Zhuang agreed. He seemed polite, although he usually was to Mois.

"Mois. Try this." Kululu tried to get her attention from Zhuang. After he had heard so many people thinking she was cute, he was just a little suspicious. "It's not curry. And you said you wanted more foods that weren't curry." He gave her one of the foods and she tried it.

"It's good," she smiled.

"Try this one. It's better for you and it tastes more exquisite," Zhuang suggested passing it to her. She tried it and smiled.

"That's good, too!" She didn't say which one was better, though.

"You have something on your cheek, _darling_." Kululu tried not to speak the last word venomously. It was very, very difficult. Instead he kissed her on the cheek.

"She didn't have anything, though," Zhuang pointed out.

"Ku, I just wanted to kiss her. Because she's my girlfriend, you know," he pointed out.

"Look, you're not fooling me. It's very obvious you're doing this all for show. I mean you just suddenly started kissing when we pointed it out, and you're obviously doing it for the sole reason of rubbing it in our faces," said Zhuang. "She's very clearly not into you. And it's very clear you just kiss her to prove something to me."

"That's untrue," Kululu denied.

"Mois, what do you even see in him?" Zhuang asked.

"Lots of things," she answered non-specifically. "Kululu's not just my boyfriend. He's my friend, too!"

"You probably just asked your friend to help you in this last-ditch effort." Zhuang pointed out.

Kululu just frowned, because that was exactly what happened. He kissed Mois again and chose to ignore Zhuang. Maybe Zhuang was just being stubborn.

As the banquet continued and Zhuang continued chatting with Mois, Kululu got a bit worried if there was something going on with him. Zhuang was single now, and Mois was probably nicer and more supportive than his stupid ex-wife. And she was also cute.

Zhuang definitely seemed interested in her. Kululu popped his little mind-reading device into his headphones and tried to listen to Zhuang's thoughts about Mois.

"She's awfully cute. Pity I have to expose her charade with Kululu. I hope she's not too mad. After all, she probably has nothing to do with this. I'm not mad at her, just Kululu."

Kululu's paranoid mind read this as that Zhuang wanted to expose him and Mois and wanted to date Mois, same as some of the other people at the con. Not that he was just being nice to her.

 _He definitely likes her._ He took out the thing from his headphones and glared at Zhuang. _And she's getting close to him. She's nice to him, too._ She didn't like him back, but she _could_ hypothetically fall in love with him. He could see Mois going for the nice sort of environment-loving thief like Zhuang. At least he was slightly better (by a decimal of a percent) standards than Keroro.

He knew she wouldn't really leave him for Zhuang, since she was devoted to their charade and was here to help him as his friend. Her reasons were pure and just, but he couldn't help but feel threatened and frightened.

After all, she didn't have feelings for Kululu. And maybe the month away from the Captain would make her realize that there were others better than him. Like Zhuang. She might develop feelings for him.

But... he didn't want that, because even though she was pretending, from his side everything wasn't completely pretend.

He cared about her. He liked being affectionate with her. He liked being her fake boyfriend. And he didn't want that to end.

* * *

When the banquet was over and they were alone in their room, he addressed his concerns. "What do you think of Zhuang?"

"He's nice, I suppose. But don't you guys not get along? I mean, he's like the one who made this bet with you, right?" she asked.

"Yeah... but, I mean... you were chatting with him most of the night. Um... do you like him?" he asked.

Mois blinked at him. Well, that was a stupid question. She hadn't been aware Kululu could ask stupid questions. "No," she answered bluntly. "Not at all."

"Ku. You don't have to deny it. You need to be honest with me. After all, it'll put our charade in jeopardy if you develop feelings for him. I mean, one thing that's been working in our favor is that Keroro isn't around to give you mixed feelings about helping me. But if you start liking Zhuang instead..." Kululu's thoughts were a jumble of paranoia. Mois just blinked again.

"Are you jealous, Kululu?" she asked quietly. She wasn't sure why Kululu was going on about something that obviously wasn't true.

"NO! Of course not. I mean, this is just fake... us. There's no reason to be jealous," he defended. "It's just... I think he likes you, and I know you're devoted to being my friend and helping me. But if you leave just because you find your prince charming, it could be problematic for me," Kululu explained.

"Oh. So you're just worried about this charade ending." Shesmiled, "It's all right. I won't. After all, I like playing pretend with you."

 _But... I don't. I'm not playing at the same level you are. Kisses, touches, they're real to me._ Kululu bit his lip and didn't tell her. He bottled up his feelings. No reason to tell her. She didn't need to deal with that. She was being overly helpful to him, and didn't need to deal with that issue.

"It's just annoying people thinking our relationship is breakable and that they might have a chance with you," he admitted. "I don't like it."

Mois wasn't sure if he meant that he didn't like it because it hurt their pretense, or if he really was jealous. "It's all right. I'm not going to leave. I'm your friend. Not theirs," she tried to reassure.

She could tell Kululu was still frowning. The reassurance wasn't working much, and he was still worried.

She sighed, wondering what to do about Kululu's possessiveness. Her words weren't doing the trick of reassuring him. "Would you like to make it look more like I'm yours?" She asked, "Maybe that would give them the idea." She took off her collar, to give him access to her neck and whatever marks he needed to make.

Kululu grinned as realization came to him. "Already ahead of ya. I can make all sorts of things for you with my spiral insignias! Ku, ku, k!" He ran over to his suitcase. "That should work fine - "

"That wasn't what I was talking about." She cut him off. "I... um... actually meant those sort of hickey things. I mean, that helps show we don't just kiss in front of people, right? And it might help make you feel better that I'm yours. Your friend. Not theirs."

Kululu's face paled as he stopped rummaging through his suitcase. "I don't think that's very friendly..."

"Neither is kissing," she pointed out. "Or dating."

Kululu nodded. It would help their case. And he didn't have any problem with sucking on Mois's neck... It was just awkward.

"You sure the accessories wouldn't work better?" he asked.

"For the last time, Kululu, it won't help me wearing panties that have your face on it. Nobody will see them and it's got your face on it. Like, what's with Keronians needing to put their face on everything?"

"I wasn't going to suggest the underwear this time. I was actually going to suggest a _skirt_ with my face on it."

Mois shook her head. "I'd much rather have you suck on my neck than wear that."

Kululu frowned. He couldn't tell if she really didn't want to wear something with his face on it or if she wanted him to kiss her.

He suspected it was probably the former, judging by that frown on her face.

"Fine. You're going to have to bend down a lot, though, since it's hard for me to reach your neck. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu let out a nervous chuckle. Mois nodded and sat down on the floor, tilting her neck to the side.

Kululu started slow, kissing it just softly. It was a lot different than kissing her lips, because this time he could hear every intake of breath she made. He could hear if she moaned a little bit, or if she was enjoying it even a little bit.

And her enjoyment gave him courage to continue, kissing and sucking lightly. He wasn't very good at doing it, so it took a good while of just kissing her neck to bruise it. But he didn't mind. It made up for her terrible kissing practice session.

Finally, after a while he was done. He looked up at his work. "Is that good?" he asked, feeling that Mois probably was right that this would do better in the long-run than merchandise. The hormones running through his head made him feel much more confident.

"Y-yeah... That's fine," she stuttered, touching her neck absent-mindidly. "I can't believe I just went through that."

"You've been a real trooper for friendship. I really owe ya one when you get home," he told her, grinning. He liked her embarrassed little expression.

She just nodded.

* * *

Kululu pretty much made excuses the next day to just show Mois off to people so they could marvel at his handiwork. He was very proud.

Mois wasn't so sure if she liked being showed off like this.

Zhuang eventually approached them after seeing Kululu enthusiastically and confidently talking to her, and the two of them stealing glances at each other when they weren't looking.

It was pretty obvious that they were at least interested in each other. _I shouldn't be so stubborn about it. I don't want to be a sour lo_ ser. Zhuang sighed and walked up to them.

He bowed to Kululu. "I concede. I'm sorry for not believing you had a girlfriend. There's been no real evidence that suggests you don't... I was just being stubborn." He had to take his defeat honorably.

"Ku, ku, ku. Kiss my ass, jerk," Kululu laughed, happy that Zhuang had believed them. Apparently, Zhuang only had his imagination to go off of about what had gone on to make so many marks. He'd never know it was a lot of awkward "Are you done yet? What? You don't know how to do this? Let's google it!" And honestly he didn't need to know.

"I'm not going to do that." Zhuang tried not to barf.

"Ku, ku, ku, fine. But you will gather people to look at my inventions, just as you promised," Kululu grinned. This convention was going to be good from now on. No more problems, no more desperately having to be overly-affectionate to prove a point.

Far off, just barely in Kululu's hearing distance, he heard a familiar voice.

"It seems someone forgot to invite me to this huge convention! I mean, that doesn't make any sense, does it? I'm the smartest Keronian around. Best hacker, after all! Pu, pu, pu. But don't worry, I broke in, even if you all did forget to invite me. And I'm ready to ram that jerk Kululu's face into the ground to prove in front of millions that I'm the better one. Not that it'll be hard. Where is Kululu, anyway?"

Suddenly, everyone pointed in Kululu's direction.

"Don't make eye contact," Kululu instructed Mois, trying to avoid Kululu. She tried, but Tororo ran up to them.

"Damn," Kululu swore. That wasn't what he needed. Tororo usually wasn't a threat, but being someone who actually knew him and Mois, somebody now knew for a fact they weren't dating.

And now he'd be a threat easily able to expose him and destroy Kululu's reputation in a heartbeat.

It was the first time Kululu actually paid attention to Tororo as a genuine problem.

* * *

 **Finally done with this chapter. It was a lot easier to write than last chapter probably since I took a break on this story for a while.**

 **And now I get to write the Tororo part so yay!**

 **This was one of the three chapters with the most kissing scenes (which I procrastinated on because I'm bad at writing them) last chapter was one of them too. And then the third will be to come.**

 **The difficult chapters, basically.**


	8. Rival

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Yay, I'm finally writing this story again.**

* * *

Despite not making eye contact with Tororo, Tororo still noticed Kululu. He ran to him, a huge grin spread across his face.

"I'm with him. Definitely allowed in this place. Yep," Tororo insisted as guards tried to chase him down. Kululu covered his face, trying to avoid the pathetic display that was Tororo.

Finally, Tororo reached him, though. Kululu was rigid.

"I'm here to prove who's best. Once and for all!" Tororo grinned. He waved his hands as if the guards would just leave.

"Is he really with you?" one of the guards asked Kululu.

"No. Of course he isn't," Kululu answered. "Get him out of here immediately."

Tororo just shook his head. "You're afraid, aren't you? - Afraid of my skills! Pu, pu, pu. You can't handle our rivalry. You know I'll beat you in front of all your little friends."

"Wait. You're Kululu's rival?" One of the guards asked. Kululu didn't look like he liked Tororo very much. That was enough of a reason to just let him stay. If Tororo bothered Kululu, it was like a divine retribution of sorts.

Kululu shook his head. "He's not. I barely pay attention to this guy. He's like a rip-off of me. And I hate copy-cats."

Tororo grinned. "Should you really be saying bad things about me? When I know the truth about you? Pu, pu, pu."

Kululu paled. He knew what Tororo was talking about. The fake dating thing. For once, he shut up, realizing that in a moment's notice Tororo could expose him.

"Yep! It's that you - "

"Don't tell anyone!" Kululu tried to hush Tororo. But Tororo just grinned wider. He knew what he was about to say.

" - are putting up a false tough front because you know I'm better! Pu, pu, pu!"

Kululu put his hands down in confusion. His eyes went between Tororo and Mois.

 _Maybe he doesn't know yet how badly I'm lying. I mean, he just walked into this place. It's not like someone told him I'm dating Mois and he's all confused. And even if he was confused he doesn't know me well enough to confirm that I'm not. If I made it look like we were really dating to him, he probably wouldn't be able to say anything._ That meant putting his relationship with Mois into over-drive... something he wasn't perhaps the most excited about.

Especially since he really didn't want the rumor mill to start and Tororo to tell his platoon about what was going on. But he supposed since it was all fake, having his platoon find out wasn't incredibly bad. At least for him. For Mois, oh boy, was it bad.

"Yes. That is exactly what I'm doing." Kululu decided to humor Tororo, just to stop him from becoming more suspicious.

Tororo looked confused for a moment. Then angry. "Don't agree with me! I hate being humored! Pu, pu, pu!" His gaze looked murderous.

Kululu just laughed. "Ku, ku, ku." He had to steady himself and his breathing. He could get through this.

* * *

The guards allowed Tororo to stay at least for a while. He was so rambunctious that every time they chucked him out of the convention, he managed to make it back in, yelling at Kululu how he would finally beat him.

Honestly, it was kind of embarrassing. Tororo was incredibly pathetic.

It took a surprisingly long time for Tororo to notice Mois was there. "Oh. You brought the Angolian," he finally said in the middle of a rant about prosthetics and hacking and hacking prosthetics and how he was a much better prosthetic hacker than Kululu.

"Oh, finally you aren't talking about how great you are," Kululu sighed with relief. Even turning down the volume on his headphones hadn't stopped Tororo's incessant chattering. Honestly, he would have rather listened to Keroro talking about how great he was, because at least someone would point out how untrue it was.

Mois was listening patiently to Tororo's conversation, taking a sip of her space coke. She had way more patience for children than Kululu had.

"Awww... when you move your cute little lips, it's almost like words are coming out!" she said with a smile.

Tororo groaned. Nobody called him cute! "Did you bring her to cheer you on and comfort you after I pummeled you with my amazing hacking skills?" he asked with a frown.

Kululu just ignored him. "Mois. Maybe we should leave. I mean, I planned for this us to have some alone time today. You know, cuz I'd love to hear you squeal and moan my name.~" Maybe if he sickened Tororo enough, the kid would leave. He kissed her on the cheek.

"I know, I know, but don't you like spending time with Tororo? I mean, I'd love a child like him someday! Do you think we might have one like that?" she begged, playing along.

"I'm not a kid! I'm an adult just like you guys! I'm mature!" Tororo pounded his feet on the ground, ignoring the lovey-dovey stuff they said to each other and only paying attention to what they said about him. He was completely egocentric.

"Ku, ku, ku. I don't think I ever want a brat like Tororo. Don't worry though, honey, you won't ever have annoying kids like him. I bet you'll have kids that are..." He tried not to grimace. "...the cutest, purest things ever." He felt like vomiting, or curling into a bawl to try to avoid his deepest nightmares. An army of Mois children.

She giggled. "Why, thank you!" She entwined her fingers with Kululu's and nuzzled up next to him.

"Pay attention to me! I'm challenging you!" Tororo yelled. "Let's battle or something. Have an amazing hacking battle or something like that."

Tororo was still thinking only about himself. Kululu wondered when he'd ask the obvious, like, "Why are you acting so close to her?" Instead he kissed Mois on the lips, waiting for Tororo to say anything.

 _Or... am I THAT bad at acting that he knows I don't act like this?_ That was very possible. Tororo thought of himself as Kululu's rival, and although the feeling was nowhere near mutual, he expected that if Tororo was making those claims he at least _knew_ Kululu's personality. And should know Kululu would never act so sickeningly sweet.

He kissed Mois again, paying more attention to if Tororo made any sort of reaction than the girl in front of him. He was way too worried about this. He had worked way too hard to have all his hard work go down the drain.

"Whatever." Tororo shrugged. "If you won't pay attention to me, I guess I'll go talk to other people about you. I'm sure some of them would love to hear all my hilarious stories about you! Pu, pu, pu!"

Kululu's eye twitched. He pulled away from Mois quickly. He knew exactly what that meant. Tororo had figured out and was going to expose him!

"Wait - !" He tried to stop him, but Tororo was already gone.

"Do you think people will listen to him?" Mois asked, knowing that Tororo was a big threat to them also.

"He's very good at being loud. And the people here are very suspicious. So yes," Kululu groaned. "Just when we convinced them, too!"

He had better stop Tororo before he did any lasting damage.

* * *

Tororo was around a big crowd. "All right, so my next embarrassing Kululu story is about when he went to the hamburger store and they were all out so he started crying - "

Kululu frowned as he listened in. This story was inaccurate on many levels. First of all, he had never been to a hamburger store with Tororo, secondly he didn't even like hamburgers, and thirdly why would he cry over something like that? He realized that Tororo might have been modifying pathetic stories about himself and replacing them with Kululu.

"Ku, ku, ku. Be careful, Tororo, lying might get you in a heap of trouble." Kululu instantly regretted calling Tororo out. After all, he was lying about something that Tororo must have known about.

Tororo turned around. "You have no proof that you didn't cry at a hamburger store!"

Kululu put his arm out, waiting for Mois to get him a hamburger and put it in his hand. As if speaking a secret language, she went and got one and gave it to him.

He smiled and threw it on the ground, stomping on it. The cheese melted onto the floor. A wonderful hamburger wasted.

"NOOO! Why would you? You monster!" Tororo instantly started crying, confirming the story was about him. He dropped to the ground, crying over the hamburger.

"Proof enough?" Kululu asked. Tororo sobbed.

"Fine! But I've got other embarrassing stories about you! Real ones! There was that time my platoon invaded Pekopon and I totally hacked your stuff - "

"With a ripped-off version of my own obsolete programming. And then I took you down. And you probably cried over that too. Ku, ku, ku."

Tororo was fuming in rage. "I'll prove I'm better than you. Just you wait. I... I challenge you to a hacking battle! We'll hack this whole convention. Whoever can hack the most inventions win!"

Kululu sighed. He didn't really want to make anyone upset with him for once. He needed these people on his side for a job. But at the same time, he knew that he had to make Tororo happy and distracted so he wouldn't talk about Kululu's relationship that he might not have even clued in on. But if someone asked Tororo like Zhuang about what he thought of them together, Tororo would just laugh and confirm that they weren't really dating.

"Fine," Kululu agreed. "But let's not destroy inventions. Let's hack the main computer. Whoever hacks it first and puts their own programming in - and may I repeat, their _own_ , not a copy of the competitor's - wins," he decided.

Tororo looked like he was filled with glee that Kululu had just accepted his proposal. "Pu, pu, pu. You'll regret challenging me!"

"But... weren't you the one to challenge Kululu?" asked Mois.

Tororo ignored her. "Let's go."

* * *

"Can you cheer me on a bit?" Kululu asked her privately, before the battle.

"I was going to do that anyway, Kululu. Because I'm your friend and I'm rooting for you," she assured him.

Kululu nodded. She was a very good friend. "I mean... more than usual."

"That will be hard," she said with a frown. She was always rooting for Kululu and she didn't know what _more_ supportive looked like.

"So that Tororo gets the message that we're really dating? Can you be like, super, _super_ sweet, but like not enough to make me lose? I don't know, just give me some sweet romantic crap when I've finished," he finally decided.

Mois winked. "Gotcha. I'll be sure to be super romantic."

Kululu nodded. He was glad of that.

* * *

The hacking battle commenced. Not many people wanted to watch. They were much too frightened and they didn't care. Two jerks were much worse than one.

Tororo and Kululu each had a small laptop in front of them that they would operate from. And in a moment's notice, they started typing.

"Go, Kululu! You'll do an amazing job!" Mois cheered.

Kululu smiled. She was doing good. Although the super-computer was made by various super-geniuses, if he gave it his all, he could get to the programming. In minutes of just the sound of typing, Kululu finally put his arms done.

"Done. What about you?" Kululu asked Tororo.

Tororo grimaced. "I... I was on the seventh layer." Out of nine. He threw his laptop on the ground. "No way can you win!"

"What did you change the programming to?" Mois asked curiously.

"Every time the computer releases a lunch break announcement, it squawks like a chicken," he said.

Mois giggled. "I love you."

Kululu turned red. She had promised some sort of romantic words, and "I love you" was definitely something that would clue Tororo off that they were in a relationship, but she said it so simply, so honestly, so easily.

He didn't think he could say something like that. Not to her face. He could easily say that he loved her to other people, but not to her. He'd be too worried if it sounded real, or not real enough. He'd be way too concerned. But she said it so easily and still made it sound like it was filled with feeling. She had giggled while saying it, like it was a simple fact of life, and like he had done something amazing and she was complimenting him.

Like it was an accepted truth that wasn't that much of a big deal. But it was. At least to him.

He hated how much his heart was pounding. Because he could not deny that he liked hearing it. He wanted to hear her say "I love you" several more times, even if those words were a lie.

He'd never heard them before.

His head swirled and he became dizzy as several Mois heads spun around uttering the words, "I love you," in her chipper sort of tone.

He couldn't keep his balance. Mois caught him, giving him a small smile.

 _You could say, maybe I went too far?_ she wondered. Kululu looked like he was trying to piece together the three words that she had said. It was pretty funny of him.

He glanced up at her, but quickly looked away. She tried not to giggle. Something about this moment, even if Tororo was pounding on Kululu's computer or watching or something like that, felt special. Like Kululu and Mois were the only two people there.

For some reason, saying "I love you" hadn't even been all that hard. It wasn't even like acting. It was just simple and accepted, and felt right to say. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because she loved Kululu deeply as a friend? To her, he was very special.

But the moment between them wasn't anything friendly. She knew that. Because she had a very big urge to kiss Kululu with how cute he was acting.

"I'm going to kiss you, is that all right?" she asked simply.

"Oh god yes - I mean, yeah, sure," he said. He wanted to glance over his shoulder to see if Tororo was watching. He better be, or else this was all for naught. But for some reason, it was hard to think of Tororo. Instead he just focused on Mois, whose arms were around him.

She smiled. "You're cute. Real cute," she whispered. Kululu's mouth started watering in anticipation as she moved forward. Her lips met his and he instinctively put his hands in her hair to pull himself closer.

For a second the moment was perfect. But then Tororo spoke.

"Guys, guys. Ew. Gross," he spat. "I just wanted to fight Kululu. I don't want to watch you kissing. What is up with you two? Start realizing what's truly important. Fighting me. Kululu's my rival. Stop this," he begged.

Kululu pulled away and glared at him. He had finally noticed his romantic intentions with Mois, yet he wasn't questioning it? He just said it was _gross_?

 _Maybe Tororo's smarter than I gave him credit for. More determined and dedicated. He came here to prove he was better than me. Not get wrapped up in my lie._ Tororo obviously saw through their act. Maybe it was because he knew Kululu was cold-hearted. Maybe he knew Kululu would no way love someone.

After all, Kululu hadn't shown enough romantic affection for Mois. No sweet words for her in front of Tororo.

Maybe it was time to change that.

* * *

Tororo continuously followed Kululu around, trying to prove he was smart by saying various intelligent things that he had probably looked up on the web.

It was rather pathetic. But Kululu tried to pretend that he wasn't paying attention to Tororo and instead was paying attention to Mois.

He decided to say his hated, dreaded words in front of not just Tororo, but others too, like Zhuang and the Viper Genius.

"Mois..." He pretended to take her aside, although he knew they were still within hearing distance. "Umm... I... I love you. A lot."

Mois's smile grew big and wide. He didn't know if it was from the act or because she just liked hearing the words "I love you." He couldn't blame her if it was that reason, because he felt the same.

"I know. You tell me that all the time when we're alone, Kululu," she smiled. She figured it was probably tough for Kululu to fake the words "I love you," when it should have been easy in theory to substitute the words "I love curry" with "I love you."

"I... I just wanted to say that to you... cause, I mean, I didn't say 'I love you too' when you said it." Sure it had taken him a while, but that was all for their act. Still, he felt wrong about saying it. It hurt him. Not physically, but emotionally.

It was like an ache in his heart. He had figured he'd be embarrassed about saying something like that to her face, terrified even, but instead it just hurt.

 _I've probably given up fighting it. It's so hard to pretend to myself I don't like her when she's constantly paying attention to me and kissing me. I was so afraid of it._ His body, his brain, knew his words were true. But he also knew hers weren't. That he was pretending, and that their pretense would only ever be that. He'd never tell her in reality. He could only ever tell her like this.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. "You look a bit unhappy."

"Because I want to say those sort of things to you all the time. I want to shower you in love," Kululu lied. Nothing he really wanted to do. A complete lie, but others would fall for it.

"Awww... sweet,"she squealed. Kululu reached for her leg, since it was the highest he could reach, to lead her back to the group.

When he got back, Zhuang and the Viper tried to pretend like they didn't hear the exchange. It wasn't polite to comment on it. But Tororo just looked confused.

 _At least something went right. He's finally confused. Catching on that this is real._ Kululu grinned.

"Why so confused, squirt?" he asked.

Tororo furrowed his brow. "Why are you acting so affectionate in public with her?" he asked. "Is there something I'm missing?"

Zhuang suddenly clued in to Tororo speaking. Why wouldn't he know?

Kululu chuckled. "Ku, ku, ku. You're really dumb, aren't you? We're acting like that because we're dating. Mois's my girlfriend? Geez, for someone who claims their my rival, you really don't know much about me!" he exclaimed.

"Well, I mean... of course I knew she was your girlfriend. What do you think I am, stupid?" Tororo asked. "I was just confused why you're not acting all casual around her anymore... I guess you're just into PDA now. Gross."

Kululu looked confused for a moment. _Hm. Weird that he caught on so quickly. All the kissing must have tipped him off. Unless... Wait... "Anymore?" What does he mean?_

"How did you know I was dating Kululu?" Mois took the question out of Kululu's mouth. "We never told you or announced our relationship to you."

Tororo thrust out his chest. "I pride myself on very factual information on my rival."

Kululu tried desperately not to laugh. This was about as nonfactual as information could come. Tororo ought to have known that he was terrified of Mois in reality. They were nowhere near dating. In fact, Mois was in love with someone else.

"Where did you get such information?" Kululu asked, trying so hard not to laugh.

"Pu! You're just shocked that I figured you out before you were ready to go full-on with your public displays of affection!" Tororo felt like he had finally found something to embarrass Kululu. "I mean, it's obvious with the way you act around each other, and the pictures of her all over your computer..."

Kululu was concerned that Tororo had been in his computer. He hoped what Tororo was talking about was all the pictures he had of her where she had modeled and not the ones when she was in the shower. That would not be in his favor if she learned about those. Sure, he'd eventually tell her about his old and maybe somewhat current habits, but not now.

"Most of all, though, Taruru told me. He has inside information after all. Tamama caught you! Pu, pu, pu. Must be embarrassing, huh?"

Kululu and Mois exchanged a glance. Mois now looked like she wanted to laugh just as much.

"Th-that is pretty embarrassing." She was holding back laughter. For some reason Tamama was not the most accurate source of information when it came to her. She wasn't sure why Tamama would lie like that, but it was funny.

 _Shouldn't have underestimated Tororo's stupidity._ Kululu wiped a tear away from his eye from holding back all that laughter. He should have never expected Tororo would expose him. He was much too dumb. After all their secret had never been in jeopardy.

After Tororo was gone and they were alone, Kululu and Mois finally let out their laughter.

* * *

 **Please review!**


	9. Faking It

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Only 10 more chapters left! Yay! (well at least I think 10, unless I merge a couple chapters into one chapter, I might in the second arc)**

 **(In fact I did merge a chapter, so only 9 chapters left)**

 **Also, for those of you who do not know, Garuru was canonly Kululu's mentor back when he was a little tiny mentor. Keep that in mind for this chapter.**

* * *

Kululu felt more at ease when he realized Tororo's stupidity. He predicted no more awkward bumps in the road of faking a relationship.

 _Hopefully nobody else I know will show up,_ Kululu sighed. He could now just sit back and take it easy, now that everybody believed him. Nobody was suspecting him and everybody valued his opinion. Except Tororo.

But Tororo didn't matter.

"Are you even legally allowed in this convention?" Kululu asked. "I didn't know they allowed children."

"I told Garuru I was going after I heard you were here. Filled out the paperwork properly, too," Tororo grinned. Really he hadn't. He had just left a note pinned to the fridge that said, _Going to a convention to kick Kululu's butt. Don't follow me. -Tororo. (This is how I fill out vacation requests, right?)_

Kululu had no idea how badly Tororo had filled out the vacation forms. He only knew when the doors to the convention swung open and the purple Keronian walked in with such a commanding aura that everybody held their breath at the sight of the tough soldier.

"What are you doing here without an invitation?" one of the guards asked, but even their voice was shaky. They were afraid of Garuru.

 _That's the kind of respect **I** want! _ Kululu realized as Garuru stepped in.

"I might not have an invitation, but I have an official order from Keron to be here. And I checked of all the authorization forms." He handed the guard a stack of paperwork. "I am here for my platoon mate who is not legally authorized to be here without a guardian's supervision. I need to retrieve him or watch over him until I can get him to leave."

"Perfect paperwork! You're fine to be here," the guard told him. "Are you talking about the brat who broke in here a while ago?"

"Depends. Was he a salmon-colored yelling about beating some Kululu guy?" Garuru asked. The guard nodded. "Then yes. That's who I'm looking for."

The guard pointed in the direction of Tororo. Garuru walked over.

"Don't let him take me!" Tororo begged. Kululu stepped back. He didn't care about Tororo or Garuru.

Garuru paused when he approached them and looked at Kululu. He was silent for a moment. Kululu and he hadn't talked much since he had been Kululu's mentor in the army, and there was still some lasting bad feelings over that. They had both hurt each other in a way - Kululu through annoying pranks that Garuru would never recover from and being an all-around jerk, and Garuru from getting Kululu demoted to a Sergeant Major.

"Kululu." Garuru nodded tersely. "My apologies on my New Recruit's behalf and for all he's been bothering you."

"Ku ku ku... Pity you can't tip your hat to me. Still trying to figure out how to take it off after I super-glued it on?" Kululu muttered.

Garuru frowned. He had tried the respectful route. He was done with that. He had more of a controlled anger than Giroro, but when he held a grudge, he _held a grudge_. "We need to go, Tororo."

"Not yet. This place has a bunch of free food. I'm not leaving," Tororo insisted.

Garuru sighed at Tororo's childishness. He really didn't want to be in the same location as both Tororo _and_ Kululu together for a lasting amount of time. The Keron army apparently hadn't learned their lesson about putting bratty childish super-geniuses under his command and protection. And he didn't want his past to get too close to his present.

"Fine. You can have some more food. But then, we're leaving," he ordered. Tororo frowned.

"NEVER!" He then ran off to get some more donuts. Garuru chased after him.

Kululu sighed. At least he hadn't had to deal with that awkwardness _too_ long.

"That... was an interesting exchange," Mois sighed.

"I'd be more worried about Garuru exposing us or something, but he probably doesn't care enough. I doubt he's so petty to care about me after so long. And Tororo's proven that his entire platoon is idiots," said Kululu.

"What's the deal between you and him?" she asked.

"When I was first brought into the army, Garuru was my mentor. However, he didn't do a very good job of it. I was even more of a jerk back then - rebellious, childish... It was glorious. We haven't talked so much after he got enough evidence to demote me, though. Ku." He glared at Garuru chasing after Tororo. He, too, held grudges. And the only reason he was in this position was because he had been demoted.

It was unlikely he'd be trapped on Pekopon if he was still a Major. He would have been the one giving orders, not be in the stupid Keroro Platoon. He would have had a life.

It was all Garuru's fault. And he hoped Garuru didn't stay long enough for him to snap at him.

* * *

Despite what Kululu believed, Garuru wasn't all calm and cool composure. He held grudges just like anyone else. Long grudges. And he had things that he liked which weren't as terrifying as weaponry, like pop singers.

Garuru had no intention of wrecking Kululu's trip. He had no opportunity too. But as he was chasing after Tororo, he did wonder what the Angolian was doing at a fair for and super-genius inventors and entrepreneurs. To his knowledge, she was neither.

To catch his breath, he asked someone what she was doing there. Someone by the name of Zhuang. "May I ask you a question related to the yellow Keronian at this fair?"

"Kululu?" Zhuang frowned. "What about him? He's not the most likable guy..."  
"I know. I just wanted to know why that Angolian was with him."

"They're dating," Zhuang said simply. "He wanted to show this place off to her."

Despite what Kululu believed, Garuru wasn't as stupid as the rest of his platoon. He frowned. This didn't sound like anything Giroro had told him about his time on Pekopon. Actually, Giroro had said Mois was interested in Keroro. Her dating Kululu didn't make any sense. Nobody liked Kululu. "Why would she date him?" Garuru asked, mostly to himself. Zhuang heard.

He shrugged. "No idea. I've been asking myself that for days. At first I thought they were doing it for the bet - "

"The bet?" Garuru asked.

"That Kululu couldn't get a girlfriend and just brought a friend to cover up for him. Last TEC we all bet that he wouldn't be able to get a girlfriend and if he lost he'd have to bow and kiss all our feet. I thought he didn't want to do that so he tried to cover up," he said. "But they seem real enough."

Garuru frowned. He glanced over and now that they were taking it easy, they weren't acting close at all. They acted more like casual friends, talking and laughing together.

 _No, no they don't,_ Garuru frowned. He knew Kululu and he vaguely knew Mois. They were not dating. He knew that as a fact. But nobody else did.

After years of waiting, an opportunity had presented itself to end his grudge, to blackmail Kululu to tell him how to get his terrible vizor and hat off. Everybody thought he wore it to look intimidating, but really he had fallen asleep cosplaying one day and the young Kululu had invented a terrible glue that he still didn't know how to remove.

He'd vowed to get it off someday.

"Would it be bad for Kululu if he was exposed as faking it?" Garuru asked carefully.

"Would it ever!" Zhuang answered. "Would it ever."

Garuru smiled. That was all he needed to know. But he'd keep his mouth shut for now. Until he had solid proof and Kululu gave him the antidote to the glue. Then he'd speak up for his pain.

* * *

It was easy enough to get solid proof that Kululu wasn't dating Mois. He just pretended to look somewhere else, but watched them. Thanks to his visor, nobody knew where he was looking.

Kululu and Mois would act pretty lovey-dovey when they thought someone was watching, but as soon as that person looked away, they would happily drop the act, slumping in their chairs away from each other.

It was very clearly an act. They were not into each other.

So when Garuru was sure that they were alone in the room, he walked up to them.

"Don't you have a Tororo to chase down?" Kululu asked him looking pretty relaxed.

"I do, but a different problem has presented itself," Garuru told him. "I know about you two."

"Somebody told you we were dating?" Mois asked. "Isn't it sweet?"

Garuru shook his head. "No, I mean I know that you aren't dating. It's obvious. Do you take everyone here for fools? You stop acting loving as soon as someone isn't watching, and your motives are clear why you'd fake date. You didn't want to be seen as pathetic, Kululu. I know you." He glared.

Kululu frowned. So Garuru was more observant than Tororo.

"You just can't face the facts that I'm happy," Kululu hissed, trying not to show that he was freaking out. Garuru knew the truth, and he would probably try to expose them.

"It's pretty pathetic that you have to pretend to date someone instead of just taking your loss with dignity. Man up, Kululu. Of course, I never expected you to be the courageous sort." Garuru shrugged. "It's wrong of you to use someone for your own nefarious purposes. Think of how she feels."

"I don't think you get a say on how I feel after you stuffed me into an Angol Stone," Mois murmured under her breath.

Kululu laughed. "Ku, ku, ku. Pretty bitter, aren't you?" At least he wasn't the only one to hate Garuru at this moment.

Garuru was unhappy that Angol Mois wasn't on his side. But he hardly could blame her. "I'm going to expose you. Unless you give me the antidote for the glue."

"That's your demand? Oh, of course. Ku, ku, ku," he laughed. "But I won't give it to you. You must suffer forever. Anyway, there's nothing to expose. Mois and I are dating." He pulled her closer. "And you have no proof that we aren't."

"You don't act like you are when you're alone," Garuru pointed out.

"But you don't have any proof about that. No pictures, no nothing." Kululu devised a plan. He'd force Garuru to have to spy on him for his proof, and then he'd act super loving toward Mois when they were alone, too. It was a perfect plan. Garuru would be sickened and leave him alone. "And if you say these things without proof, everybody will just think you're as pathetic as Zhuang."

Garuru frowned. Kululu was right that he had no proof. "Then, I suppose we'll talk again later. But I will expose you. You and I both know you're lying." He nodded politely to Mois as she just frowned at him and departed.

"Ku, ku, ku," Kululu laughed. He didn't know when Garuru would be looking for this supposed proof, but he'd make sure that there was none. This problem could be easily remedied, although he was a little worried that Garuru had seen completely through.

He better make this act completely convincing.

Unbeknownst to him, Mois hadn't clued in to his plan. He had just assumed they were thinking on the same wavelength, but really she didn't know at all what he was planning.

She was in for a wave of confusion.

* * *

He waited until they were alone in their room. After all, they couldn't get more alone and Garuru would have just assumed that they couldn't. He easily spotted the tiny camera that had been installed that he just assumed Mois saw too, even though she never spotted his cameras and clearly wasn't good at spotting these things.

Garuru must have bribed Tororo into putting it in.

 _Ku. You've become as creepy as me. What a hypocrite you are._ But their room was a perfect time to implement his plan.

"Long day, huh?" He tried to start up a casual conversation, just to make things seem normal between him and Mois.

"Yeah. Wh-what are we going to do about Garuru, Kululu?" she asked after taking off her shoes and sitting on the bed.

 _Good plan, Mois. Talking about Garuru makes it seem like we don't know he's watching,_ he thought to himself. He walked up to Mois and sat next to her on their bed. "Not to worry about him. There's nothing _to_ worry about. He's just a big, dumb, purple eggplant."

She giggled. "I've never heard him referred to that. I mean, I thought everyone thought he was like this scary tough guy!"

"Well, not me. I mean, you can't really think someone's scary after you walk in on them bathing and singing to a rubber ducky. Ku, ku, ku," Kululu laughed. Mois fell to her side laughing. She didn't know Garuru very well, but she knew she didn't particularly like the guy.

Kululu smiled as he watched her laugh. He reached over and swiped a strand of hair away from her eyes. "Your laugh is really cute, you know." He decided to flirt with her now that they were alone. His goal was to make it look so realistic that not even Garuru could doubt their relationship.

Mois blushed as Kululu held a strand of her hair. "Y-you think? I didn't know that." Of course, she believed Kululu was actually talking to her.

"It's really cute. Not something sinister like mine!"

"I like your laugh. It's hopeful! And nice! It makes me happy." Angol Mois smiled.

"You'd be the only one in the whole universe to think that weird sort of thing," he decided. He leaned down next to her, rolled on his side, and looked at her.

Mois blushed. Why was he doing that? They were alone, so there was no more need to act. _Wait... this is a real conversation we're having. Don't try to read anything romantic into it. Just because he's caressing your cheek soothingly doesn't mean anything. You're just confused, Mois. You've been acting romantic with him for a few weeks so it's hard to distinguish what this is..._ She looked at Kululu shyly. She didn't know what was happening.

"You're so pretty. You know that, right? Even your... sickeningly sparkly eyes are pretty," he told her. It was the best compliment he could muster.

For some reason it worked. Mois had to keep herself from covering her blushing face. He had just said her eyes were pretty? For real? Not for pretend?

 _Not romantic. Remember, this moment isn't romantic. It's just a friend talking to a friend. After all, that's the reason I'm doing this. Because we're friends._ She tried to calm herself down as Kululu's hand left her cheek and roamed down her arm and to her side. He pulled himself closer.

 _Good! She's acting perfectly. And I'm making it look like I do this all the time, so that's good. Should be convincing. Ku,_ Kululu thought to himself, unaware of how much she was freaking out.

"I'm so lucky that you came with me. That you're here with me instead of some other guy."

 _Not romantic! Just a nice friendly spiel,_ Mois repeated in her head. "O-of course I came with you, Kululu. I mean... you're such a cool guy, and I'm happy to be something special to you and that you trusted me enough to ask."

She blushed as he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

 _That... That couldn't have been romantic. Don't be confused. Don't hope for too much._ But how could she not be confused? He had just kissed her when they were alone. Usually they kissed and made it very clear to each other that it had a purpose, an act. They talked and communicated beforehand and everything was safe from the "real feelings" territory. It was non-threatening kisses. But to her, at least, that kiss had been real.

"Wh-why'd you do that, Kululu?" she asked. "Um... I mean, maybe I imagined it..."

Kululu grinned. "You didn't. I kissed you because I like you, obviously."

"Like a...?"

"I... I love you." It was a bit harder to say it to her alone. He stuttered a bit, but he hoped that stutter just made Garuru believe it was all the more real. This was just as pretend as everything else, after all.

This time Mois _did_ cover her face to hide her smile. For some reason, hearing those words made her incredibly happy.

 _Okay... maybe this moment is a LITTLE bit romantic._ She tried to steady her thoughts. There were so many jumbled emotions in her - happiness, confusion, embarrassment, wondering about where they stood now, thoughts about Keroro, total joy, bliss, fear, wondering if this was real, and all sorts of others.

But deep in there, there was calm. For some reason she felt this was right, that maybe Kululu and she were sort of meant to be, a good match. She was happy about hearing this.

She had always thought she had agreed because she was trying to be a good friend, had wanted to kiss Kululu just to help him and maybe because her immature teenage hormones, but perhaps it was something deeper. Maybe she had stronger feelings for him than she thought.

After all, every time she had said she loved him she had meant it, every moment of their pretense had been incredibly easy. The only times that weren't easy was when Kululu had admitted things had been real and she had to face her feelings that there was no pretend and that she had enjoyed it. That she felt guilty for mentally cheating on Keroro.

But maybe there was no Keroro to mentally cheat on. After all, she was very happy with the way things were turning out.

She realized that she had probably all along liked Kululu, ever since seeing his cool inventions and having that sort of innocent curiosity for what he was building. There was an interest there, and the feelings of wanting more and feeling guilty for that she had only really ever noticed on Easter Island when they had accidentally hugged. She had quickly buried them deep down, but they had been returning little by little whenever they touched, whenever she couldn't think of anything but Kululu.

 _I've been in love with him this whole time, haven't I? I wasn't as selfless as I believed... I wanted this opportunity to be closer to him, to learn more about him,_ she realized. But this knowledge didn't have a sad ending. It was a happy ending.

Kululu loved her, too. And for some reason he was being incredibly out-of-character and saying it so honestly and courageously! She didn't question this or think too much about it. She wasn't the most observant; she was a bit on the oblivious side.

Kululu grinned at her as she just hid her smile. He moved forward and got on top of her. She rolled onto her back and he kissed her again, deeper this time. She happily put her all into the kiss, moaning into him, letting herself just be consumed by her feelings and what she thought was his. She let him have full access to her body and let herself be completely vulnerable around him for once.

There was no reason to stop her frenzied kisses, to stop Kululu's small body from moving against her stomach ever so slightly, to allow his legs to be on either side of her as he trailed what she believed to be loving kisses along her jaw and down her neck as she just moaned out his name.

 _I wonder how sickened Garuru is yet?_ Kululu thought to himself. Loads of practice kissing Mois let him multi-task his thoughts, although he did think it was weird how incredibly responsive she was being. She was so eager to kiss him.

Either she was a really good actor, or she was taking the opportunity to kiss him. _Nah. Ku. Mois's as selfless as they come. She doesn't really want to kiss._ Damn, was she a good actor, though.

They were pretty much full-on making out in their bed. It was exactly the plan he had been going for, although it was a little... intense. Honestly he had to keep himself remembering that there was a creepy camera watching them. Man, what a turn-off.

He was totally going to do the same to his platoon mates if they ever started kissing anyone. It would be the same sort of mood breaker.

"Kululu," Mois whispered, almost sweetly. She drew Kululu's face off of her neck and brought it back up to her face to kiss him deeply.

Honestly he hadn't French-kissed her before for their act, and it was surprising when her tongue, with very little hesitation, tried to draw out his.

 _Well... Uhhh... Props to her for improvising..._ Honestly this was getting a little too hot and heavy for him, because he really didn't want Garuru and probably Tororo to be seeing him in this position. After all, he was breathing very heavily and it was very hard to deny that he was _really_ into this.

"God..." he moaned, separating from her a moment. "This is hot."

"Stop talking. No time for that. I want to kiss," she whispered, her lips quickly going back on him for more kisses.

That was just enough for the small camera to self-destruct. Apparently Garuru and Tororo were done. This was all too real for him.

As soon as Kululu heard the mini-explosion, he separated from Mois and scooted very far away from her.

"Okay. We're done here." He didn't spot any more cameras. "I'm going to go shower now. You can have it after me." He wanted to get off all his sweat. That make-out session was way too hot, but it was over now. And he'd never have to repeat it.

"Ummm...?" Mois was confused. Kululu suddenly sounded not as into her. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked a bit fearfully.

"Nah. You were perfect. I'm very thankful. You did things incredibly great. I'm impressed," he congratulated.

She was happy, but still slightly confused. If she had done everything right, why had Kululu stopped kissing her?

She didn't notice when Kululu cleaned up the mini-camera.

* * *

Kululu was incredibly confused as to why Mois was so cuddly that night, but he decided to dismiss it. Maybe she was playing it safe and still thought they were being watched. When Garuru was gone, he'd reassure her that she could stop.

And Garuru quickly left. He had finally caught Tororo, having put him on a child-leash.

"Umm... my bad, Kululu." He nodded to him. "I... I'm disgusted to say you weren't faking with her."

"Ku, ku, ku. No problem. I mean, I can't help it that you're miserable and desperate to see that everyone's unhappy like you," he teased. Garuru frowned and left the convention with Tororo in tow.

Kululu grinned. "He's finally gone. God, it was so gross that he watched us yesterday. Ku, ku, ku. Not going to stop me from watching others make out, but still gross," he told Mois when they were alone.

"He watched us?" Mois suddenly felt very violated.

"Ku. Yeah, yesterday, remember? I know you saw the camera! Unless you didn't... I suppose you are bad at spotting them." That would explain why she acted so affectionate that morning and night. She was constantly acting, because she didn't know when Garuru would be watching them.

"Did you see it?" she asked.

"Of course I did. That's why I told you all that stuff. How come you don't remember? I wasn't going to take any chances with him disbelieving us," he explained. "Ku. Smart, aren't I? I dealt with that Garuru problem easily and calmly." He waited for her to praise him. But no praise came.

Her smile just dropped as she suddenly realized what Kululu was saying. _He was acting. He wasn't being real about it..._ She was horrified. Kululu had acted that entire time; that was why he had been so loving.

But she hadn't. She hadn't acted at all. She had fallen for his stupid trick. And she didn't know if he knew he had totally played her, or if he thought she was observant enough to have known about his trick and not talk to her about kissing her like that beforehand.

Garuru's words rung through her head about Kululu using her. She never thought they were true until now. She felt used, even though he had just been doing what she herself had given him permission to do - pretending.

She had just felt hurt because she had fallen for it. She had fallen for his stupid words, his stupid actions. Everything.

"I-I'm going to go for a second... I forgot my phone in our room," she told him. Kululu frowned. Her phone was in her pocket!

But in a flash, she was gone. She had rushed off - for what, he didn't know.

 _I guess waiting for her to praise me was getting a little cocky. Maybe I've gotten too used to her support._ He decided not to interrupt her, whatever she was doing.

She was probably doing something important.

She wasn't. She was crying.

* * *

In the following few days, his take-it-easy attitude faltered. Mois was acting differently toward him. She would freeze up when he touched her. She would move away when he tried to kiss her and wouldn't say as many sweet words. She still tried to act like his girlfriend, saying that she was his girlfriend and all, but she was faltering. She was doing badly, and suspicion was back on them. All eyes were on Kululu. If he had a fight with his girlfriend, or if something was about to be exposed, they would know.

He tried to wrack his brain for answers of why Mois was acting so weird, but whenever he asked her, she just told him she'd try harder. Finally he reached a conclusion.

 _She's mad at me._ All her actions, her sudden repulsion at him, it made sense now. And he could hardly blame her. He'd made a lot of people mad - he was a jerk till the end. Yet he had never really made her mad. Not directly.

This time, however, she was clearly mad at him. And what worried him most was he had no idea what he had done. He hadn't an inkling of a clue. Mois had been kind to him all the time, supportive of him lying, a true friend, and she cared about his interests was he was doing. She deserved a real apology if he had somehow hurt her. But he couldn't give it if he didn't know what he had done wrong.

He hated to admit it, but he cared about her feelings. And she wouldn't talk to him like they were friends when they were alone now. Whenever he hinted at learning what he had done wrong, she would say, "It was nothing. I'm not mad," even though she was clearly mad.

He had to fix this. But he had another problem to deal with, too. _She can't keep pretending to be my girlfriend if she's mad at me. This will just hurt her more._ He needed to buy her some time to cool off. At this point he felt bad for forcing her into this agreement. She desreved a break. But they were constantly under everyone's watchful eyes.

He needed to get out of the TEC. And he knew only one way. Huge injury. If he got injured by one of his inventions he'd be taken to the hospital, away from all the people at the TEC.

 _This is pathetic, I'm going to injure myself just to give someone some time off and forgive me?_ He glanced at Mois and the answer was clear. Yes. She was worth it. And it wasn't like he cared much about his own safety. He was pretty used to physical pain.

So during a presentation, he tried to show off his newest invention. Something he had purposefully made as faulty to explode on him. He was on the stage alone.

"So you press this button and the powerful laser starts up, Ku, ku, ku. First time I've tried to make something environmentally friendly. A deadly laser - nice, huh?" But as he pressed, it the invention exploded.

He had rigged it. Everyone gasped as he was thrown toward the wall by the explosion, several of his bones breaking.

 _Ow,_ he thought to himself. That had been... slightly _bigger_ than he had expected. He had intended to just pretend to be hurt.

"Kululu!" Mois yelled, rushing up to him. Kululu pretended to groan. He had a high pain tolerance, so he didn't feel like totally dying.

Some perimedics came up to him. "A lot of his bones are broken and some of his organs might be damaged." He had faked the organs briefly with a pill. "He needs to go to the hospital immediately. We'll do the best we can to heal him."

"I didn't want this... Do environmentally friendly lasers actually kill?" Zhuang asked. He hadn't wanted to hurt anyone.

"Kululu, don't worry. You'll be better soon. Just stay awake," Mois begged.

 _Can't. The drug I took will make me lose consciousness in 3, 2..._

"Kululu!"

"We're putting him in the ambulance now... You're his girlfriend, right? You stay with him. I'm sure he'll pull through if you're here."

"I won't leave."

Things started darkening.

 _1..._ And he was unconscious.

* * *

 **Please review!**


	10. Hospital

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Another chapter done. Yay! Three more chapters (probably) of the arc.**

 **Sorry it took long, my sister was editing this.**

* * *

Kululu's eyes opened. He was in a hospital bed like he had predicted. The room was calm, white, and there were some flowers.

 _Boring,_ he thought to himself. Angol Mois was napping in a chair by his side.

 _Ku. Darn her. I did this so she could take a vacation from me, yet she had to her nice sweet self and stay by my injured side._

He knew that the pill he'd swallowed had taken him out for at least 12 hours. He wondered if she had taken even a little break from him. But it didn't look like it.

The door opened. "Sergeant Major Kululu, you have visitors," a nurse told him. Mois woke up, startled.

"Kululu! You're up! I'm so glad," she smiled with relief.

"Visitors? I shouldn't have visitors..." He wondered briefly who had been so worried about him to visit him in the hospital. His platoon shouldn't have been notified so soon about his injury. And even if they were, he doubted with Mois gone that Keroro was reading any paperwork. But if it wasn't his platoon, who else could be notified about his injury?

His question was soon answered as two faces he wished he could forget walk through the door. An orange Keronian with a bow insignia and a blue one with a band-aid. His older siblings.

"Kululu! We came as soon as we heard what happened. Thank god you woke up." Rinono breathed a sigh of relief as she walked over him.

"Kind of annoying how we had to drop everything we were doing to visit though," Shupepe, his brother, sighed.

"Hello? Um... it's nice to meet you? Whoever you are?" Mois was confused. "What are you doing visiting Kululu's room?"

"What are _you_ doing in his room?" Rinono asked, glancing at Kululu's injuries. He seemed badly hurt.

 _No. No please, don't tell them Mois. I don't need my siblings to think I'm dating anyone. That's one place I don't need a fake girlfriend..._ he silently pleaded. But of course Mois had no idea this was his family.

"I'm Kululu's girlfriend, Angol Mois," Mois greeted. Kululu swore in his head. Even when she was mad at him, she kept to the story.

Shupepe and Rinono looked shocked. "Kululu has a girlfriend?" they asked at the same time.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rinono asked. "You never write home about your girlfriend!"

"Home?" asked Mois. "Who might you be?"

"My name's Rinono and this is Shupepe. We're Kululu's older siblings," she answered simply. Mois let out a squeal of delight at learning more about Kululu. She hadn't known that he even had a family.

"You never told me you had siblings, Kululu." She glanced at him.

"That's because I try to forget them," he hissed. "I'm fine, Rinono and Shupepe. You can leave."

"No. We heard you were gravely injured. I insisted Shupepe and I visit immediately." Rinono crossed her arms. Kululu hated them both. Rinono took way too much after their mother, babying him, even though he was much more capable than she. And Shupepe, he simply didn't care and had the right response of fear toward Kululu.

But Kululu didn't want either of them there with him. He had injured himself so that Mois could have a break from pretending, and now that she had said she was his girlfriend, she wouldn't be able to take it back and she'd be forced to continue pretending. After all, it would be humiliating to tell his siblings that he was faking a relationship for his pride.

"Go away," Kululu hissed.

"No." Rinono shook her head. "If you need rest, we could spend some time with your girlfriend if you want. But we won't leave until you're discharged."

Kululu frowned. What he wanted less than them talking to him was them talking to Mois. She was mad enough already. "Fine. You can do whatever you people do. Run into walls for all I care to entertain yourself."

"No. I'm not going to run into a wall again," Shupepe told him. He didn't like to remember the chip Kululu had implanted into him to repeatedly run into a wall for three days. It had been terrible.

"Fine, ku ku ku. Suit yourself," he responded. He was not looking forward to this recovery process.

* * *

It was very clear that Mois was jittery and conflicted. His injury hadn't made things less awkward, and Kululu could tell she was still mad. Despite that, she was a perfect caregiver, bringing him water and fluffing his pillow to make him more comfortable, but as a girlfriend she couldn't act. Whenever Rinono asked about them and Kululu brought his hand over to Mois's to hold hers, she withdrawed it and unhappily.

It was very clear that she didn't like him, at least romantically. He was a little concerned with his siblings finding out and laughing, but what he was really concerned about was why Mois was mad.

He knew his siblings were dumb enough to just take his word that they were dating, so her anger at him would merely look like a rough patch, or like they were about to break up or something.

It would make enough sense in the context of their story. And if she did break down and refuse to fake date him, he could act like they broke up. But would that make her feel better?

Despite how angry she acted at Kululu, Shupepe remained oblivious that there was even a rough patch. Truly, he was the dumbest of the dumb. Rinono was a tiny bit more observant. She noticed that there was tension and suspected that Kululu and Mois were going to split, so she tried to separate them a bit - something that remained unsuccessful.

"So..." Shupepe cleared his throat. "How long have you been dating my brother?"

"Two years," Mois replied. It was the date they had decided on.

"Keronian years?"

"Pekoponian," she responded.

Shupepe whistled. "Long time." He paused for a moment. "Have you talked about getting married or anything? Rinono and I would love some nieces and nephews!"

Mois flushed. "Wh-what...? No, I mean... Kululu and I aren't going to... We haven't discussed it, it's never come up..." She didn't know what to say.

"Marriage doesn't mean children," Kululu interjected. "Id never have brats, anyway."

"Shupepe... maybe you shouldn't talk about this. I'm sure there's a better subject to talk about." Rinono tried to keep her brother from talking about their relationship too much. She knew they were going to break up.

Shupepe looked confused. He had just wanted to tease Kululu! What was so awkward about that? This was a beautiful opportunity.

* * *

It wasn't until Mois and Shupepe left to the cafeteria to bring lunch up to Kululu's room that Rinono tried to talk to Kululu alone about him and Mois.

"Have you ever gone through a break-up before?" She knew this would be an awkward conversation. Their parents weren't around any longer to educate Kululu on relationships.

"Look, I don't even want you to be here, so the least you can do if you are here is to not talk to me," he responded.

"But..." Rinono trailed off. "You and Mois...You two look uneasy..."

"Ku. Look I've never broken up and - " If he was going to lie to his siblings, he might as well go big while Mois wasn't here. "Mois's not going to break up with me - she's hopelessly in love with me. Who can blame her? I'm way cool."

Didn't hurt anyone to brag about himself if Mois wasn't around.

"You don't have to deny it." Rinono didn't see what Kululu was doing as bragging. She saw it as not facing reality. "I can see she's unhappy in this relationship, and although I'd like you to be happy, the poor girl looks miserable." Rinono knew she should side with her brother, but she also knew her brother was a major jerk, and so she honestly felt a little sorry for Mois.

"She does look pretty miserable, doesn't she?" Kululu finally sighed, thinking about it. It was obvious to everyone that she was miserable.

For a second, Kululu felt worried enough to try to confide in someone. Maybe he was just so confused and bad at this that he didn't know what to do, but for once he wanted help and although he hated his sister because she mothered him she was also someone he sometimes felt he needed, in rare times. He liked her and trusted her a lot more than Shupepe.

And he was a little happy that she had come to visit him in the hospital immediately. "She's pretty mad at me," he finally admitted.

"Then apologize." Rinono said simply.

"Can't. I don't know what she's mad about," he said. "I'm such a jerk that I love making people mad at me, but this time I have no idea what I did."

Rinono looked at him with pity. But she had no advice for him. Kululu had never righted any of his wrongs. And he was much too old to start now. "Let her go, maybe. I don't know what you did, either, but this... this won't last."

Kululu nodded. But he mostly ignored her advice.

* * *

Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to talk to Mois about what he did or her leaving him so she could rest up on her own because Shupepe was constantly with them. Rinono tried to give the two of them some privacy, but Shupepe didn't.

He was still in the delusioned world of trying to tease Kululu about how cute of a couple they were and about the nieces and nephews that Kululu would not have. Kululu was so tired of it.

Mois didn't help the problem at all, feeding into Shupepe's fantasies by answering some personal questions about what kind of wedding dress she'd wear and what kind of flowers. She just loved weddings too much to miss this chance to rant about her ideal type of wedding.

But eventually, Shupepe finally left to go buy something out of a vending machine. Most likely an action figure to play with because he was bored.

"Your siblings are so different than you. I had no idea," said Mois.

"Yeah, they're dumb," Kululu agreed, turning her politeness into what he assumed she meant. "Listen, I don't want to listen to him asking me invasive personal questions anymore..."

"I can ask him nicely to stop so you can rest. You're still injured, right?" she suggested.

Kululu shook his head."I was thinking something that might benefit me by letting them not talk about you anymore and leave me alone. They have no connection to the convention, so whatever we do relationship-wise won't reach anyone there." He paused. "I think we should break up in front of them, since they think we're dating." This would benefit him on several levels. Mois wouldn't have to pretend anymore, would get a break from him, and she'd get to get out whatever anger she had at him during their break-up.

"I suppose that might help." Still, she frowned. "You sure about it?"

"Positive," Kululu grinned. "Next time they're around, let's do it."

Mois nodded. She was ready.

* * *

It didn't take long for Shupepe and Rinono to come back to the room.

"They didn't have the model I wanted..." Shupepe frowned about his action figure. Kululu glanced at Mois. Was she ready?

She looked back at him. She didn't know how to start this. So he started.

"Mois. I thought I could handle dating you, but we're just too different. I'm a jerk, you're a romantic... I think we should break this off."

Mois played along, crossing her arms. "You just want to break up because you're afraid I'll break up with you first."

Rinono and Shupepe immediately felt very awkward about what they had apparently walked in on.

"No, I don't!" Kululu denied, trying to do an emotional act. "I just don't like you at _all_. I thought it would be nice to have you around, since you like me so much, but what I was really in love with was me. Not you." He pushed her arm very lightly, because he was too weak to push her whole body. Hopefully she'd get the cue to act more angry at him, and eventually that anger would turn to real anger, and she'd let off whatever steam and resentment she actually had against him.

It worked a little bit. Mois looked a little hurt from the very light push that even a baby could have done better. "Well, I thought of Uncle whenever we kissed!"

"Umm... should we ask about how she just said Uncle...? Oh, never mind..." Shupepe looked at his feet.

Kululu frowned. That was probably true. Or, she was acting. He didn't know, but it had hurt him anyway. It was too close to the truth. "I thought about a dirty sock, because that's what it's like, kissing you," he told her.

Mois looked very hurt. He really hoped she knew this was pretend. He didn't want her any angrier at him. But she looked very hurt. "Well, I hated your curry!"

At least he knew that one was a lie - she loved his curry. _Unless she doesn't... Wait, does she not?_ He got so worried and paranoid. His curry was a subject of pride for him and shouldn't have ever been bashed in any way.

"I don't like planetary destruction. Tamama could destroy a planet better than you," he hissed.

"Zhuang's smarter than you!"

"You'll never destroy Pekopon!"

"You won't ever invade Pekopon!"

Eventually, they just started trading insults. And Kululu knew he was getting a little across the edge. She had actually started crying after the "never destroy Pekopon" part. That definitely crossed the line. It took everything in him to not try to desperately comfort her.

"L-let's go, Shupepe... Before they start tossing things," Rinono begged.

"Ku. You mean, before she blows up the hospital," Kululu smiled. She did great at destroying buildings. He then paused and went back to fake mad. It wasn't the time to geek out over Angol Mois's destructive capabilities.

Rinono tried to drag Shupepe off. Shupepe just looked at Kululu awkwardly.

"I hate you, Kululu," Mois finally choked out. "And I hate having to do all this... This dating thing."

Shupepe ran off. Rinono closed the door behind them.

"Okay, they're gone. We can stop now." Kululu sighed. But Angol Mois still looked really mad at him, like she did want to destroy the hospital.

 _I bet I did go too far with the "she won't destroy Pekopon" thing. She's pretty over-sensitive about that._ Kululu felt bad.

"I m-meant it, Kululu. I don't like doing this." She was holding back tears. "It isn't as fun as it was when we first started out. I thought that you would be pretending to other people, but... But..."

Kululu smiled. So she was finally getting to the reason she was mad at him. She was the sort that couldn't fake anger without really getting angry and sad.

"Be honest, Mois. What did I do to make you so mad? I know you're mad at me. You aren't just pretending to be mad. What did I do to hurt you?"

Mois backed away from him. She looked like she had given up fighting hiding it from him. "You used me. I was supposed to be the one person you didn't use here."

Kululu tilted his head to the side. She looked so distressed, but he never remembered using her. He had been honest about this whole pretense thing. All the time.

But she kept talking. "You weren't supposed to use me, or pretend when it was just me. You weren't supposed to con me or hurt me, even for a moment. But you did. And I guess I'm just more mad at me for falling for your pretense. I was stupid." Her lip was shaking. If his legs weren't broken, he would have gone up to her and tried to do whatever people did when they needed to comfort someone.

 _So I pretended about our relationship when we were alone? And conned her unintentionally?_ Kululu didn't ever remember doing that. Maybe she was talking about how he had been a bit more flirtatious with her than normal.

Suddenly, he did recall a moment where he had pretended to like her, something he had assumed she knew about, but she had made it very clear she had never seen any cameras.

He had thought she was just a naturally good actor, but he knew the thing about Mois's responses and genuineness was that they were genuine.

"You... weren't pretending, were you? With Garuru?" The dawning of realization came upon him. She must have thought he had been showing and trusting her with his honest feelings... And that would explain all her actions.

Her eyes sparkled with tears, but she nodded. He fell silent. He wanted to get an apology out, but he was at a loss for words.

 _She... honestly made out with me? Like... that was all for real to her?_ He was so confused, so embarrassed, but mostly shocked.

Mois just turned away and left the room.

"Wait!" But it was too late. She was gone.

* * *

Rinono entered the room moments after Mois was gone. Kululu still looked shocked. Too shocked to even pretend.

"I'm... uhh... Sorry. I heard everything through the door," Rinono told him. "What do you mean you were pretending?"

Kululu sighed and rubbed his head. "At this tech convention, I made a bet with some bozo that I'd bring my girlfriend next time I saw him. I didn't want to lose the bet because I'm too good to lose bets, but I didn't have a girlfriend, so I asked a friend for help. Unfortunately, it seems like in one moment of our fake relationship, she believed me about something and got her feelings badly hurt. She feels like I used her. And I did," Kululu explained, giving it up. He could tell Rinono.

"That makes sense why she's been so mad at you and disinterested, but still has been looking after you," Rinono pieced together. "So she's just a friend? Then why'd you break up?"

"To get Shupepe off our case. I made her mad for real, though," he said.

"And... let me get this straight, you actually _do_ care about her feelings?" Rinono asked. She wasn't surprised that Kululu would fake having a relationship. It wasn't surprising in the least bit, but the fact that he cared about someone's feelings and how she was mad did surprise her.

"Um." Kululu's lens cracked.

"Oh... that makes it more complicated, doesn't it?" Rinono looked at him sadly.

"What does?" he asked.

"You're in a fake relationship with her, but you actually like her."

Kululu furrowed his brow. "I do not. She's just a friend."

Rinono looked at him. He groaned. He hated that family look like "I know you." It was dumb. But there was no way he was going to admit to anyone that he actually liked Mois. And Rinono would never let him live it down.

Rinono sighed, since Kululu wouldn't admit. "You should tell her, or else she might continue being mad and feeling used."

"I think she'd feel even more used if I _had_ feelings for her. It would mean I was taking advantage of this just to be closer to her and I'm sure she'd feel a bit gross about that. So nah," he decided.

"But what are you going to do when this fake relationship ends? Just go back to normal? Pretend it never happened? Do you plan to never tell her how you feel?"

Well... that was the idea. Never tell Mois anything.

"Fine, I guess you can do what you want, but someday you might end up regretting it. You can't just hide feelings forever, Kululu. They'll tear you apart and you'll wonder forever what would have happened if you just told her. She seems nice enough. She wouldn't hate you for it," Rinono pointed out. "Worst-case scenario, she'd tell you she just wants to be friends. But she wouldn't ditch you entirely. She's been looking after you so much. She cares about you."

Kululu crossed his arms. "I don't want to hear your blathering advice. Go leave with Shupepe; you've interrupted Mois's vacation from me."

Rinono sighed. "Fine, but remember my advice. And get well soon." She pat his hand and then departed.

He probably would. He would probably only take another day to recover. His bones could heal pretty fast, and this alien hospital was high quality.

* * *

He was discharged quickly after Rinono left. It turned out he healed faster than he expected. Mois finally approached him, ready to go back to the TEC.

"I suppose we have to go back, huh?" she asked with a sigh.

Kululu nodded.

"Don't worry, I can pretend. I don't want to ruin your reputation. Then all of this would be for nothing. I know you might have been a little irritated about how bad I've been doing things because of my anger, but I'll try... okay?" she asked.

"Mois... I had no idea about why you were mad. I don't say this to many people, but I'm sorry. This might not matter to you, but I never meant to use you. I honestly thought you were in on the pretense... I should have made it clearer that Garuru was watching," he explained.

She thought for a moment. "Thank you. Honestly I'm still hurt, but it does matter to me that you apologized. It means a lot to me. I know it was an accident. I'm really sorry for being mad."

"It's all right. Anger's a natural emotion. And I can understand being mad at me. You've been a real trooper through this whole thing. You deserve to be mad at me. After all, I _am_ using you for your reputation of just being my girlfriend," he added. "I should pay more attention to you. You got pretty mad when I was just bragging about you and making you uncomfortable, too. I'm sorry," he said. "This convention... You wanted to come because you thought it would be fun, too. It shouldn't be all about my issues. I mean, we're friends, right?"

Mois smiled, despite her sadness. "Yeah. We are. We're friends." She shook his hand, happy that a conclusion had been reached.

Despite her saying she was fine, Kululu didn't feel like she was. She had agreed to pretend still, but he didn't know if that was for the best.

* * *

He was just using her for his reputation. And that was not how he should act. He knew Mois was more important to him than anyone at this fair. She was the one he saw regularly, not them. He'd probably not see any of them again for one hundred years.

He needed to value her more. And he knew only one way to do that.

"How you doing, Kululu?" Wakuku asked when she saw him at the fair again. Zhuang looked the most concerned, like his environmental message had caused all of this.

"I'm so sorry... Are you all right?" Zhuang asked, concerned. He didn't like Kululu, but that didn't mean Kululu deserved to be hurt.

Kululu nodded. "Should have gotten Mois to check my invention. Double check my calculations. Maybe I should ask her to write my presentations, too. Ku! Plus, she's generally a lot better at dealing with people."

Mois smiled. Flattery shouldn't have been making her happier, but it was definitely helping her mood.

"I'm not smarter at dealing with people then you. I'm _way_ oblivious," she reminded him.

"Ku. You definitely know how to value someone, though. You know the importance about relationships, about friendships..." He trailed off.

Mois frowned. Was he going to say what she thought he was going to say?

"It took me way too long to realize that your feelings are more important than my pride. Ku, I don't care about anyone here. Not as much as I care about you, at least. Why should I care about their opinion of me? I want your opinion of me to be better than theirs, Mois, and that's why I'm going to stop preten - " Mois slapped her hand over his mouth before he finished.

She grinned widely at him. He was willing to throw all his progress down the drain for her? Tell everyone that they had been acting, something that would no doubt humiliate him, just to cheer her up?

"I'm better, Kululu. I know you care," she smiled. She was grinning so widely, Kululu hoped she felt better. But he couldn't speak. Her hand was still on his mouth.

She leaned over and shook her head, trying to communicate to him that he didn't need to tell anyone, to not to give himself away for her.

He nodded. If she really wanted to keep pretending he would. She was a good person.

"Thank you, Kululu." She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

He smiled despite himself. That small gesture made him know she was back to normal. She was happy again.

And that was what mattered most to him.

* * *

 **I tried to make Kululu nicer to Angol Mois because my sister said he needed to do cooler nice things.**

 **Please review!**


	11. Dancing

**This was a really short chapter. But that is okay. Some chapters will be short. Break from the usual pace. This is just lame stuff.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **I believe my sister cut down some details in this...But I don't know for certain.**

* * *

It was a week till the end of the fair. Nobody was bothering Kululu anymore about him and Mois, and things had just become natural for him. Still things were a tiny bit awkward between Mois and him from their previous fight.

He wanted things to go back to normal, but perhaps it was for the best. This appeared to be a warning sign of the excess amount of kissing they were doing wasn't a good idea for either of them. So they just stopped it.

That night a dance was being held in one of the rooms nearby the main convention. Kululu had never been a fan of dances, but Mois had other ideas.

"It sounds fun," she remarked.

"I was honestly hoping to sleep the day away, do more important things." Kululu shrugged. She pouted a little. "But if you want to go, we'll go. Let's do some things that you find fun."

She beamed. "Yay!"

* * *

The dance was filled with people from all sorts of high class and posh backgrounds. An orchestra with fine music played softly as people danced and chatted.

Kululu wasn't all that impressed, but Mois seemed entranced. "It looks wonderful. So romantic."

"It would look weird if you danced with anyone else, you know," he pointed out. He didn't want to disappoint her, but it was very unlikely she could dance with anyone. He was still a little paranoid about Zhuang, so no way was he going to let her dance with that guy.

Mois frowned, sitting next to Kululu. "Why won't _you_ dance with me?"

"Ku ku, whaddya want me to say, 'I don't dance?' Nah, that's not it. Just look at us."

He wasn't trying to be mean, but Mois felt a bit insulted. "What do you mean by that? That we don't look like a good dance couple?" She couldn't believe it. In many of her recent dreams, Kululu and she had danced romantically across a ballroom. "I'm sure we'd look great together!"

Kululu sighed. He didn't know how she didn't understand. "Mois. I'm tiny. Whatever romantic kind of slow dancing you have in your mind won't work. Because guess what? I reach your _knees_."

Mois looked shocked. She stood up and waited for Kululu to stand up next to her. He sighed and did so.

It was true. He was less than half her size.

"So... you mean we _can't_ dance together?" She looked devastated.

"I didn't want you to have to find out like this, but yes," he confessed.

Mois was devastated. "Well, maybe we couldn't dance together like in the movies... Holding each other while we waltz and stuff. You could say, think outside the box?"

"Yeah, if we were across from each other I suppose we could dance. I have some pretty groovy dance moves - I do a great robot. Ku, ku, ku."

Instead, Mois hunched down. She reached for Kululu's arm and pulled it over his head.

"Hey, wait... What are you doing?" he asked when she spun him.

"It's not the most elegant, but we can figure this out. Maybe if you keep your feet on mind."

"Hold up, isn't this how people dance with toddlers and kids?" Kululu figured out.

"Yep!" she hummed.

Kululu sighed, cursing his height. "Do you really want to dance with me?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

He took a deep breath. "Fine. Let's dance."

* * *

They didn't move to the music. They danced to their own. And in a word, it was just sort of childish. They each had their own style of dancing - Mois's careless and innocent, Kululu's just... out of style. He danced like he lived in the 80's. Constantly groovy in this annoying sort of way. He thought it was hilarious.

Mois giggled, overcome by joy of just dancing with Kululu. And honestly, even though their proportions didn't match, her innocent laughter made Kululu want to smile, too.

She had to hunch over whenever she took his hand, but dancing like it was just them, like they were just having fun, felt elegant in its own way.

There wasn't any worry about a pretense, about faking it. They were natural and just them.

Mois pulled Kululu off the ground and spun him in her arms joyfully.

"Whee!" she cheered.

"Whoa!" Kululu's legs sort of flailed in the air. But it was fun nonetheless. He saw a few people staring at them, but he didn't care, nothing could stop this wonderful moment between them.

Mois giggled and let him rest in her arms. He put his arms and legs around her torso and waist so he wouldn't fall off.

"You know, if you ignore my legs, it kind of is like we're doing that slow dance you like. At least my arms are around you now," he said.

Mois smiled. "Want to pretend?" She took his arm, pretending to waltz with him.

"Sure. I love it when someone else does all the work. In this case, walking." He beamed. "Ku, ku, ku. Although I don't really like how you're rocking me like a baby?"

"About to fall asleep or something?" she teased.

"You wish. If I fell asleep, you'd probably fall asleep too. Right here. Ku, ku, ku."

Mois loved sleep. "You're right," she agreed. She rocked him and danced with him a little more, getting absorbed in the music. There was a violin solo at that moment.

"You know, about our argument..." Mois paused. Kululu tensed up in her arms. He didn't want to talk about it. They had made so much progress. He had made a mistake, and he would try not to pretend as desperately with her. "I don't want that to end our friendship, Kululu. I don't want that argument to be the thing to break us up. I want you to know even if I'm mad at you about something like that I'll always be your friend - " Kululu put his finger to her lips.

"You're important to me to, Mois. You've done so much for me, and even if that argument was the thing to end us I wouldn't hate you. You're... honestly an important person to me. And I'm sorry if I never treated you as such."

She smiled. "It's all right. I know you're not very good with expressing your emotions."

"I can do actions, though." He leaned closer to her. Mois blushed, but puckered her lips and tilted her head, her hands clinging closer to him and pushing his head up to her.

Kululu's eyes slowly closed as he was about to kiss her again, but he noticed that nobody was watching them. Nobody was looking at the two dorky dancers on the sidelines; they had their own worries to think about.

He pulled away. The conversation they were having was real and he wouldn't ruin it by putting their fake relationship into it.

Mois blushed as he pulled away. His lips had been mere millimeters away from hers, - she could feel his breath against her - but he hadn't actually kissed her. _I learned my lesson last time. Why did I do that again? Nobody's watching... What was going on was real._

Kululu paused and thought for a moment. But then he brought his face back closer to hers.

"K-Kululu!" she stuttered out. Had he decided to kiss her anyway, even though nobody was watching?

Instead of kissing her, he put his forehead against hers. Then he pressed his hand against her forehead.

"Mois, you have a fever," he said. "Have you been over-exerting yourself?" Maybe the dancing was too tough on her. She had been pushing her limit for the few hours she could be awake.

"I could be warm because of embarrassment, you know! That's a natural reaction!" She tried not to answer that question. She had really wanted to dance with him, but she knew she had been over-exerting herself. When he had been in the hospital resting, she'd constantly watched over him. She had been so worried. But she didn't want Kululu to know that. He always got mad if she over-exerted herself. Worried and concerned for her. She didn't want him to know she was coming down with a cold.

"You saying that makes me know you aren't embarrassed, dummy," he pointed out. "You must be getting much more used to holding me. I mean, on Easter Island when we were in this same position you threw me to the ground - "

Mois dropped him.

"See? _That's_ embarrassment!" Kululu pointed out, "Ku, ku, ku." He crossed his arms. "Now sit down and let doctor Kululu exam you."

Reluctantly, she sat down. Her shoulders slumped in tiredness. Kululu crawled up into her lap so he could reach her forehead and pressed the back of his hand against it again.

"Geez, you're hot..." he noted.

"Thank you?"

"No, I meant you're burning up. We need to get you back to our room. You really need to rest."

She didn't want to. She liked dancing with him. "No, I think we should do some more dancing." She tried to get up to dance, but her legs gave away under her.

"Mois!" Kululu shouted. But she had just fallen asleep.

* * *

She woke up in their room. She wasn't sure how she had gotten there, since she knew Kululu didn't have the strength to drag her.

"You okay, Mois?" Kululu asked, sitting by her side. "You have a terrible fever. What the heck did you do to over-exert yourself so bad?"

"You were injured... I wanted to look after you," she said. "I didn't get much sleep... any sleep. I was so worried about you."

"Idiot, I injured myself on purpose. I was completely fine. I just wanted to give you a break."

Her eyes drooped. "How did I get here?"

"I asked Zhuang to carry you. It wasn't fun, asking him for a favor. But he's actually your size." He tucked her in. "Just sleep, okay? You need it."

She slept.

* * *

Sometimes while she slept, she woke up in the middle of her REM cycle, feverishly calling for Kululu. He tried to take care of her best he could, but she was so sick. Sometimes she would just say gibberish, merging two idioms together into one terrible one. Well... more so than normal, at least.

"You could say, a penny saved is worth two in the bush?" she said once. Kululu would just beg her to rest.

But sometimes she couldn't. Kululu tried to feed her soups, petting her hair with his hands and just waiting for her to be better, or feel even a little better.

"I'm going to leave so you can get some rest now. I feel like with me watching you, you aren't sleeping. And for you, sleeping is the best cure," he said.

Mois tried to grab his arm. "I don't want you to leave."

"Fine. But you have to sleep," he told her. She tried, curling up in many blankets in her bed, with Kululu softly touching her hair.

"I can't wait for this month to finally be over..." She finally said as Kululu was drifting off. Kululu instantly clued in. She may have been feverish, but she was still probably speaking from the heart.

He had suspected she still disliked pretending, but he guessed those feelings weren't completely gone. "Why is that?"

"I don't like the funny feelings I get from touching you when we're doing all this," she said. "I hate these feelings that I'm going through... The distress, the happiness, the distress again."

Kululu looked into her eyes and nodded. "It'll be all over soon, don't worry. And we'll never have to do it again."

"But that's the funny thing! I also want it to last as long as possible. I'm caught between wanting it to end and wanting it to never end. To just have this charade forever..."

Kululu stopped breathing for a second. What she was saying, her feelings, they were exactly how he felt. He wanted it done with, to stay away from her, but at the same time, he kind of wanted to continue this charade. He looked into her eyes, _really_ into her eyes, and saw fear and the distress she was talking about.

Eventually as he stared at her, she started relaxing. He didn't understand how she could relax from staring.

"This is the longest you've ever looked into my eyes, Kululu," she whispered. Kululu wanted to grimace and turn away, but he knew her eyes were slowly closing. She just needed to sleep.

"I know. I'm dying on the inside," he said.

"I like it when you look at my eyes. I like it when you stare at me like that."

"Don't get used to it, I'm only doing it because you're sick," he sighed. He was being so sweet and caring, it was killing him. He was sure he would drop down dead as soon as she fell asleep.

"I think I want to sleep," she decided.

"Good! You don't need anything to help you? Lame bedtime story? Nah, I'd probably make it terrifying..."

"A goodnight kiss. Can I have a goodnight kiss, Kululu?" she asked. Kululu paused and looked at her. They hadn't kissed since the incident with Garuru. She had kissed him once on the cheek, but what she was asking for was so honest... They were alone. It was the "real stuff" territory - something they both didn't want to go into.

She didn't know what she was asking for. But if it would comfort her, he'd do it. "Sure, Mois." He leaned down and gave her a simple kiss on her lips, making it chaste but sweet.

She smiled. "Thank you." And she fell asleep.

* * *

She woke up the next day, yawning and stretching. She looked much better.

Kululu sneezed. Watching after her had made him a bit sick, but not much. "You feeling better?" he asked.

"Much." She smiled. "All better!"

"Good."

"Thank you for watching after me. You could say, in sickness and in health?"

"No problem." Kululu stretched his arms. "Can... Can I ask you something, Mois?" He finally took up a serious but somewhat shy tone.

"What?"

"Did you mean everything you said?" he asked. "When you were sick?" He knew it was being a bit too hopeful. She had said a lot of stuff, and some of it had been gibberish, but she had implied that at least a part of her liked being with him, didn't want their pretense to end because she wanted things to continue between them.

But maybe he was just being hopeful. Way too hopeful.

"I'm sorry." She frowned. "I don't remember what I said. Anything in particular that interests you?" She wondered if he was going to ask about something specific.

"No... nothing," he lied. "It's fine. You just butchered idioms."

"Well, I probably didn't mean it, then."

"That's what I thought."

And the conversation was over. He wouldn't question her anymore about a meaningless topic. He'd just be happy she was feeling better.

* * *

 **Tips for writing fluff greatly appreciated. Please review.**


	12. Drunk

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Another short chapter. Next chapter is the last one in the arc. (The fake dating arc at least)**

 **(My sister changed some of Kululu's lines in this...Tell me if they're better.)**

* * *

The days till the end of the fair were nearing, and since most of the Mois issues had been dealt with, Kululu could finally work on what he had actually come to the TEC to do.

To market himself for a new job. Everybody had promised to buy his over-priced inventions if he won the bet, and he had a tidy bit of money from that now, enough that if he was wise he could hypothetically retire over, but he didn't want to retire. He was far too young. He wanted more. More money, better work. Something he could be proud of doing.

People respected him, at least some people, so he could market himself. He had made a list of the richest and most respectable businessman there with the best company and employee policies that he would be proud of working toward.

There was a part of him that still had his pride as a Keronian and was trying to cope with the fact that he would likely become a non-Keron, but working on Pekopon was pointless. It was inevitable that he'd have to leave. That place cramped his style.

"So what's on the schedule today?" Mois asked him calmly. "What kind of pretense do we have to do?"

"None. Everybody's convinced." He shrugged. "I'm actually going to be working on the thing I came here to do."

She furrowed her brow. "Which is...?" She had assumed he just wanted to geek out about inventions with other nerds. But he seemed to be implying there was another reason.

Kululu realized he hadn't told her he was going to be leaving Pekopon, assuming he got hired. This would be hard to tell her. He sat her down. "So... you know the Keroro Platoon, right? And you know how it's likely we won't get anything done because we're lead by an incompetent captain?"

"Y-yes...?" Mois didn't know where he was getting at with this.

"Likely we'll never invade and we'll stay on Pekopon forever. But... I don't want that life. I'm still young, I have things to do. I don't want my potential to be wasted making inventions for Keroro.."

Mois put a hand on his shoulder. "You won't! You'll make something of yourself. Keron will withdraw you eventually. You have a life, a future. I myself, sometimes I wonder if _I'll_ be stuck on Pekopon forever, too. I know how you feel."

"Yeah, but I don't trust Keron. I don't like putting my faith in other people to make my future better. So I'm gripping it by the reigns. I came here because there's a lot of rich CEOs that are hiring. I used you to get my reputation up so I could get a new job."

"Oh? So you'll be working at your new job from Pekopon?" she asked.

Kululu frowned. She didn't seem to get it. "No, Mois. I'm going to leave Pekopon behind. Forever," he told her. A small flicker of horror went across her face - mostly betrayal, but also sadness that Kululu would likely not come back with her. That this pretense that they were doing was most likely the end of their communication. But she quickly hid it.

 _I knew she wouldn't be happy about it._ He owed her a fair bit for helping him. He'd probably give her his old lab and inventions to explode or play with as she pleased to make it up to her.

Mois put on a fake smile. "I-I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for!" Her voice was shaky.

"You don't look very happy... Are you mad that I didn't tell you before? Would you have helped me out if you had known?" Kululu asked.

Mois shook her head. "I'm not mad. Just shocked. I'm... I'm going to miss you very much. But I'm happy for you and I'll support you if you really get a new job. I just... I'm going to miss you so much. But even if we're far apart, we'll always be friends," she promised.

She really was the most selfless creature he knew. She was obviously unhappy about this, but she cared enough about him to let him pursue his dreams.

* * *

She did as he requested, putting her all into talking about how great he was to help him get a job. But when they were alone, she asked him questions about them.

"If we weren't on the tech team together back on Pekopon... if you hadn't been in Uncle's platoon, do you think we would have still become friends?" she asked him, not able to think of Kululu not in his platoon. She wondered what would have happened if he had made this decision earlier.

"Probably not," he answered honestly. "You would have been a planet destroyer pining after the Captain, and I would have been somewhere else. We probably would never have met." He gave her a small smile. "I don't believe in fate. So most likely we would have never talked to each other. Our paths would never converge. Sorry."

Mois gave a sad nod. "But we have met. So you leaving won't mean the same thing. W-we'll still be friends. No matter how far away you are."

"It's normal to feel upset," he told her. She looked like she was struggling with this.

"What will you do about Saburo? Won't you miss him?" she asked, hoping she could somehow convince him to stay.

He shrugged. "I'll keep in touch with him. And I'll see you both when I visit Pekopon."

She took a deep breath, but nodded. That wasn't enough for Mois, but he had promised to visit. She felt sad that she wasn't in his plan, that he hadn't really thought about their friendship, but this was more important than them. This was their future.

And she honestly cared about Kululu enough to let him go. She wanted him to be happy.

She stood up out of her chair at the table she was talking to Kululu at and walked over to him.

"Need something?" he asked. She shook her head. She put her arms around him and hugged him closely.

She was so silent, so Kululu didn't speak. He stroked her hair. _I suppose I didn't really think much about what I'd do about Mois when I planned this. I didn't think we'd get so close. But she'll get over it. She'll go back to Keroro and start dating him maybe eventually and be happy again._ He knew her hug was meaningful, that she wanted comfort, and he gave it.

"Don't worry, I'll support you. I just... want to hug you before you leave," she told him. He nodded and let her hug him.

"I'll miss you too," he admitted. "And hey? I haven't been hired yet!" he pointed out. She was just silent.

* * *

He managed to get hired pretty quickly, actually. The search for a job wasn't too hard when he showed off his excellent resume. It especially was easy, since everybody at the TEC had to respect him because of their bet, and felt bad for suspecting him.

Pekoko, one of the non-Keronians who had antagonized him a bit, was the one to hire him. He had by far the best pay in his company, best working hours, and Kululu would get a much better lifestyle working under him. He'd get to travel the galaxies.

It was a dream. And he'd get to work under a Keronian, too, which was ideal.

"It'll be a pleasure to have someone like you working for me," Pekoko smiled, "You're a smart Keronian. And the company will benefit having you. Your work will start immediately after the convention officially ends."

Kululu grinned. "Excellent."

As quickly as he could, he filled out the paperwork, officially announcing his resignation from the Keroro Platoon. Then he sent it off.

"I got hired, Mois," he told her.

"That's great!" She had been mostly sad the previous day, but today she was a shining ray of support like she always was. She was happy for him.

He was glad she was feeling better, but a part of him wanted to hear about how much she missed him. He knew that her support meant that whatever was happening between them was officially ending and any potential for a relationship, and most likely even their friendship would die. Distance killed relationships, and although some people could have long distance relationships over the internet it, had been seeing Mois's face every day that had made him fall in love with her.

Her support meant she was fine with that happening - she had accepted it and wasn't fighting it. And part of him wanted her to fight him on this. He hated being in the Keroro Platoon, but brief moments had been bliss, making fun of his platoon mates, working with her. He had been content with a part of it.

And like a spoiled child, now he wanted to be fought about it until he eventually decided what he truly wanted. He was a conflicted individual.

* * *

The first thing he noticed about her support was how much less she touched him. It was like whatever romantic atmosphere had been between them - fake or not - was gone.

She had stopped acting altogether. Sure, she was still happy and friendly and supportive, but her little touches, her sweet words of affection... it was all gone.

She was even waking up early so he didn't wake up next to her. It saddened him, but he knew what this meant.

 _It's over. Our pretense is finally over,_ he realized. She was trying to separate her feelings so she could transition back to her normal self, to Keroro. And she was putting up her personal walls so things would be back to normal.

When he touched her hand briefly, she just pretended it didn't happen. Touches between them were only accidental, and she looked just as freaked out as she had on the train to the TEC.

 _I suppose she's giving me a cue. I better start stopping being so affectionate too._ Mois was not his pretend girlfriend anymore. They were over. And he had to push the feelings he had for her back down.

As if instantly, he got afraid of her again. He had never really stopped being afraid, but he would scoot away from her when she sat by him. And he would tense up when she glanced at him.

"Stop staring at me," he ordered. Her dreaded sparkly eyes were not for him anymore. There was just sadness there, and he didn't want that.

So she would turn away. And she wouldn't even look at him.

* * *

It was the last day of the TEC. And after what Kululu made into a very quick presentation presenting his work to show off how much he had improved, the TEC administrators held a small party to celebrate another successful convention.

Kululu elected to take Angol Mois to it. After all, it would be the last party they went to together in... a while. Probably forever.

The thought saddened him. As various arcarde games were placed around convention halls and movies were shown with various technology and grab bags were awarded with rare parts, Mois and Kululu simply spent time together at a table alone.

"Kululu, are you sure you should be drinking that much?" she asked. He was drinking quite a bit of space liquor to cope with the fact that he wouldn't see her again. "You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you? It'll be your first day of work. You don't want to be hungover."

"I can handle my liquor. Unlike you," he reminded her on his seventh glass. "Ku, I have a _very_ high tolerance."

"Okay... but seven glasses? What if you get drunk?"

"I won't." He downed another glass miserably. "You can play DanceDance Revolution or something. I'm sure you'll kick everybody's butts."

"Only if you watch me," she grinned.

"I'll cheer you on," he promised. So she skipped off to do DDR.

* * *

By the time she came back, despite what Kululu had said, he was _very_ drunk. Unlimited alcohol for someone very conflicted was perhaps not the best idea the convention had had.

Kululu drunk was a pitiful sight. He cried to himself at his lone table, slamming down a napkin dispenser and moaning about how all the napkins went away. When he saw Mois walk up, he continued to weep.

"Mois... Mois... I have arms," he showed her. "Why do I have so many arms?"

Mois giggled. "I told you you'd get drunk." She rolled her eyes and tugged at Kululu's arm.

"I... I need..." He reached toward her. "I need your picture. So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas." He started crying again about how Santa was a lie.

Mois rubbed her forehead, trying to ignore how he was trying to hit on her. "All right. I think you should shut up now and stop talking."

"Why do people always have to shut up?" he cried. "You want me to shut up too? Is that right? Then make me."

"That's not going to work on me," she told him.

Kululu frowned disappointed. Then he started crying again and muttering something about how he didn't want to become an organ donor. "Well, I suppose I will if I must," he finally decided.

"...Why?" asked Mois.

He slurred out, "Gotta give you my heart."

"That isn't even remotely romantic. Please stop," she begged. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at how bad this was. He was sooooo drunk. And now he was miserably going through terrible, terrible pick-up lines.

"No, Mois, _you_ need to stop. I need a band-aid." He started crying again from the pain. "I scraped my knee falling for - "

"Yeah, I think this party is over. Let's go to our room. It's time for your bed."

Kululu made an annoyed sigh, but he continued as she carried him over her shoulder.

"I'm not very sure about earthquakes..."

"No, Kululu." She shushed him. "Don't ruin earthquake pick-up lines for me. Please."

"But if you want I could make your plates shift tonight. Ku, ku, ku."

Mois visibly winced. _That_ one was bad. She turned the knob to their room, walked in, and placed him on the bed.

"Oh? That worked?" he asked.

"No. It didn't. You are going to sleep off your drunkness. Now," she ordered.

"Or what?" he asked. It seemed he was finally over his misery.

"Or I'll stare at you," she threatened. She gazed at him with determination.

He started shaking. Even drunk, he was afraid. At least he wasn't on fire this time, like last time alcohol had been involved and she had looked at him.

"Are you an earthquake? Because I'm shaking." He said one last pick-up line.

Mois sighed. She actually liked that one decently. It fit the context. "Okay, you get a pass for that one. But I'm not sure how it's a pick-up line?"

Kululu grinned. At least he had gotten one pass. "It fit, though. Thass what matters." He felt proud.

"I suppose. But now you need to rest," she ordered.

He didn't. Instead he waited for her to sit on the bed with him. When she did sit down, he stroked her hair, sweeping her bangs out of her eyes.

"Mois... why can't we just be stuck in a time loop, with this month repeating over and over again?" he finally asked, some of his real feelings bubbling out in his drunk state.

"Because that doesn't happen. You have a life, and I have a life. It was fun while it lasted, but we'll always be friends - " she tried to explain to him.

"I don't want to be, though. This month that we've been dating, even if it is fake, has been fun. Being with you, kissing you..."

"Kululu? What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I want you in every way I can think of. I don't want thiss to end," he slurred. She could tell he was very drunk.

 _How much did he drink?_ she wondered. When she had reached him, it looked like more bottles than she could count.

"I want our charade to end happily. With happy memories, not like this in this sad way, with you going back to normal like nothing happened," he told her.

She knew at least some of Kululu in there was talking. And it was true, they _were_ ending their charade pretty sadly.

Kululu moved his hand down to her stomach, pushing her lightly so she would lie down on the bed. In a moment, he was sitting over her.

Having Kululu over her like this reminded her of the Garuru incident - something she didn't like to remember.

"I... I really want to make wonderful memories with you, Mois... I know I'm leaving tomorrow and I won't see you for a good long time, but I want to make memories with you. I want to touch you... kiss you... feel you."

Mois turned red as she realized what the very drunk Kululu was implying. He wanted, or at least was implying, that they sleep together.

"For at least a night, Mois, let's be a real couple," he told her. He was going into very inappropriate territory.

He rested his head against her breast, waiting for her response.

She lightly pushed him off and gave him a calm smile. "No."

He frowned. "Oh. Okay."

"You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing or saying. If we did anything like that, you'd instantly regret it in the morning since you'd just have to leave," she explained. As someone who had been drunk before and made similar choices, she knew how to handle this and be the responsible one. She watched him patiently. She knew whatever Kululu was saying wasn't his fault.

He sighed, listening to what she was saying. He didn't look too hurt or rejected. "I'm sorry. You're right. As always." He sighed again and went over to the floor and grabbed a blanket. "I'll get some rest. That's best for me."

"Kululu, you can still sleep in the bed, just not _with_ me, if you get what I'm saying." She tried to stop him from going back to the floor.

"I'll just sleep here. Probably going to wake up a lot in the middle of the night to vomit anyway."

He had a point, so she left him there. He curled up and fell asleep pretty quickly.

She looked at him one last time.

She knew tomorrow, he'd be gone. She'd see him off to the train station and she wouldn't know when she saw him again.

She'd miss him. But she couldn't stop him. It was for the best.

* * *

 **Please review.**


	13. Departure

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Last chapter in the fake dating arc! I could hypothetically end the fic here but I wanted to play a bit with them in a relationship.**

 **Next arc will be short, only five chapters (Used to be six but I condensed one at the moment. Maybe it'll change.)**

 **Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Angol Mois woke up early that morning. She wanted to spend as much time with Kululu as possible. But when she glanced at the floor, he was gone.

She bolted up in her bed, clutching her blankets and looking around nervously. Had he left without telling her? Was that just it? Were they over?

"Kululu..." she called out, looking for him.

Kululu came out of the bathroom. "You're awake. I didn't think you'd wake up so early." She sighed in relief when she saw him. He wasn't gone yet. "Ku. What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." He had just been packing up his toothbrush. Was that really that scary?

"I just thought you left without telling me." She got out of bed.

"Ku... well, I mean... I was going to leave in a half an hour, so you just barely made it," he told her. "Wanted to get to the train station early to catch my train."

"Oh." Mois looked disappointed. She only had a half an hour with Kululu left? Their last half an hour in who knows how long?

She took a deep breath. _It might be hard, but this is for the best. He wants this. He has dreams and I don't want to stop them._ She wanted Kululu's success. Just because she wasn't in the picture didn't matter. She cared about him. He deserved to be happy.

"I woke up early to pack. Packed up your stuff while I was at it, too," he told her, pointing to the suitcases. "I... I suppose there's some things I want to talk to you about before I go..."

"Yes?" Mois tried not to be hopeful. She didn't know what Kululu needed, but she was sure this would be a meaningful conversation.

"Your reward," he told her. "My old inventions stored away, they're all yours. And you can always call me up to make something for you. I owe you big time for this."

Mois pouted a little. She had hoped that Kululu would talk about how much he'd miss her, or even perhaps that Pekopon wasn't that bad of a place, even though she knew it was. She had honestly hoped he'd tell her that he didn't regret his time in the Keroro Platoon, that it had made him meet her. But of course, Kululu regretted his wasted time all too much.

"Thank you," she said politely.

"And I already sent of the resignation paperwork. Keroro should be getting it any moment. Ku, ku, ku. I made it rude as hell, too. It'll be amazing." Kululu chuckled to himself.

Mois kind of tuned out his chuckling. He tilted his head noticing that she looked like she was trying to be happy for him. He looked at her sadly for a moment, but walked up to her nonetheless.

"Really... thank you, Mois, for helping me out. I wouldn't have gotten this job, if not for you." He reached out and shook her hand. She smiled softly.

"It was no problem! I just wanted to help you out." She really smiled this time.

 _So innocent, so pure. Even if she's not benefiting at all from this, she was just happy to help. Mois's too perfect for this world,_ Kululu thought to himself. "All right. But there's some business to attend to. I want this... thing to stay between us. I would prefer you not mention to anyone about this whole fake dating thing. I know you might want to talk to someone or confide in them, but I'd just prefer for other people to not know that aspect of my life," he requested.

"You could say, lips are sealed?" she promised. Kululu nodded.

"It would benefit you a bit to not even tell the Captain... I honestly don't know how much it would ruin the possibility of a romantic relationship with him if you mentioned it," he finally brought up.

"I won't tell him, Kululu. This is a private thing between us."

"Good. Although all the kissing we practiced and did should benefit you extremely with him. You're quite good at it... it made the experience bearable. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu's compliments were not exactly the most top-notch.

Mois nodded. He was silent for a moment. "I'd better start leaving now. Don't want to be late." He grabbed his suitcase and turned around.

Mois bit her lip. She didn't want him to go. Not like this. But there was only so many times she could say she missed him. "You're leaving now? Forever?"

"Yes," Kululu responded. "Ku. No reason not to. There's nothing on Pekopon worth staying for." He paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder and stared at her for a good moment, letting the statement hang there.

Mois could read social cues. She knew what Kululu was implying. That if she begged enough, he might actually stay. But she couldn't give in. She didn't want to ruin Kululu's plans. So she let his statement hang there and let him stare.

"You'll always be my friend, right?" she asked.

"Yes." Kululu nodded vigorously, promising her. "Always - no matter what you want to say now..." He was hinting again.

She looked at him, winced, and turned away. This was better for him. He wanted this. "Stay in contact with me, all right?"

Kululu sighed and turned away. She wasn't going to say anything. She wasn't going to stop him or beg.

"I will," he promised. He walked over to her one last time rather awkwardly. In this sort of situation, was he supposed to hug someone good-bye? He wasn't good at that. He kind of just awkwardly moved his arms.

But Mois stepped back. "We shouldn't," she told him. "That part of us - it's over, Kululu. It would be too hard to hug, even a short one good-bye." _I wouldn't be able to let go._

Her eyes looked so big and sad. But Kululu nodded respectfully. "Mois, it.. It doesn't have to—I mean, um I like - " Kululu just kept starting sentences and never finishing them. He fidgeted a bit, but he stopped himself before he said something that he regretted. _Telling her anything wouldn't help anything. She's made it pretty clear that she's fine with me leaving, that she's interested in Keroro. There would be no point to telling her some pathetic feelings like Rinono told me to. It's for the best if we just stay like this. Separate._ He sighed to himself.

He had faked it all, the relationship, his reputation, everything, but that didn't change the fact that everyone who had made fun of him had been right. He always would be a lonely jerk. And although he hadn't really wanted anything like a girlfriend, if it was Mois... Well, that would be different. But he'd always be without her now.

"You were a good pretend girlfriend," he finished. "It was fun while it lasted but I got to go." That was his good-bye, and in a few seconds, he was out the door.

Mois reached out to him, wondering if she should have said something else. But it was over now. He was gone.

* * *

She lay in her bed a bit, trying to process that Kululu was really gone. _I made the right choices, right?_ she wondered.

They were better like this. He would be happier. And she wanted him to be happy and successful.

But the question was... would she be? She knew she wouldn't. She had always thought she was willing to sacrifice her happiness for others, not be selfish. She cared about Kululu way too much to ruin his chances for a new job, to go after him to try to stop him.

She clutched at her shirt. An ache was in her chest. Heartache. It hurt that Kululu was gone. She didn't want him to have to leave. She had no idea that he wouldn't have been returning with her until a few days ago.

She felt that her cheek was wet from tears. _Love is selflessness. I care about him. I'm not going to do something stupid,_ she repeated to herself. But she wasn't happy. She didn't want this. She wanted him back.

It was like there was a hole in her chest. A hole that only Kululu could fill. She wanted to let Kululu go, to let him be happy, but she felt wrong not telling him how she felt. Just leaving it like this, so unsatisfying.

 _I love him._ She had tried to ignore this fact after Garuru. It was clear that Kululu didn't feel the same way. She had just thought he did because of a few moments in their pretense where they faked emotion. But she felt very strongly for him.

She sat up. She couldn't go on like this. Regretting a choice she made that had been for the best for her friend. _Maybe he doesn't feel the same way, but he did imply that he wanted me to beg him a little bit to stay._ If she had begged him instead of letting him go, if she had asked him to stay for her, would he have? Kululu was a very selfish person, but would he have chosen her happiness, _their_ happiness together, over leaving his old platoon and new opportunities?

Was it wrong to not even give him a chance, to give him all the choices on the table? She didn't know. But she knew she didn't like being without him. The hole in her heart would just get larger and larger.

 _Love is selfishness,_ she realized. It was a mixture of the two, selfless and selfish. And for once she wanted to be selfish. She wanted to tell him to stay. She wanted to know this was truly what he wanted and that there was no chance for him to stay.

Only then would she accept it.

She wanted to go after Kululu.

She wiped off her cheek and stood up, determined. _I'm going to go after him!_ she decided. A stupid choice, but she'd do it. She wasn't exactly sure he didn't feel the same way, so maybe he wanted to stay with her, too. She had just never given him a chance to talk about it. And she knew out of the two of them if either of them were to confess it would be her. He was way too frightened.

She left her room in a hurry. She didn't have much time to find him. She needed to get to him before his train left the port.

* * *

She managed to reach the train port on pure adrenaline. It was very crowded.

"Kululu! Kululu!" she yelled. She didn't remember which train he was on. Was it 256 or 257? She looked around desperately for him, but couldn't find him.

"All aboard train 256!" a speaker announced. Mois's gaze shot toward train 256. She saw the end of a yellow Keronian leg get aboard the train.

 _That one!_ she realized. She ran as fast as she could, but the train doors slammed shut before she could get on it.

"NO!" she shouted. The train started moving into the sky. She leaped off the platform and flew.

 _I can fly faster than that train. I can still get his attention! I'm not giving up just yet!_ she smiled. She zoomed to the front of the train, banging on it.

"Hello in there! Can you bring Kululu to the front?" The conductor tried to avoid eye contact with her. He looked terrified that an Angolian was banging on his train. A news reporter held a camera, less frightened.

Mois pouted. Maybe they couldn't hear her. She could deal with that. They could probably see her. She quickly moved to a nearby planet, crushing it down to tiny asteroids in a matter of minutes to block the train's path.

She could still see the port behind it. Everybody looked like tiny dots to her from there, like little ants, but she was confident they could see her. She didn't care. All that mattered was stopping this train.

She quickly hit the various asteroids in different shapes. She was an expert at this. She smiled proudly when it wrote out a message for everybody to see on the train - "I love you, Kululu." She could see the train conductor grimacing. Probably because the planet she had destroyed for the asteroids had been populated.

But what mattered was what she was doing was romantic! Not how many people died for it.

Mois moved her hand toward her throat. The train picked up her request and a tiny little microphone popped out of the hatch so she could talk and they could hear her.

"Kululu. I know you have a great job, and you'll be very successful, but... I don't want things to end like this between us," she spoke into the microphone. She had to be quick about it. She couldn't talk to him face-to-face. "But I want to know if you really want this. I want all the options to be before you. I want you to know that I love you, very much. For real, too. I guess it just kind of happened, but... it hurts to think of you leaving. It's like there's a hole in my heart and although I tried to be selfless about it, to support you and be happy for you, I didn't want you to be gone. But I won't push you into anything that you don't want. I want to know if you maybe... feel the same way? I suppose what I'm saying is... if you love me, too, please come out the exit hatch. I'm right here. Come into my arms, please," she begged. "I want you to stay. I'm so sorry. But I want you to stay so much."

She waited. The exit hatch opened, showing her that the train had heard what she had said, but nothing came out.

She waited again. She waited for ten minutes with the camera on her face as her expression got sadder and sadder.

Finally, she realized he wasn't coming. He had made his choice. She sighed and cleared the path for the train.

"You can go," she told it. The train zoomed away as fast as it could.

She slowly floated back to the space port. _Well, I tried. I probably humiliated myself, but it was enough._ She landed and sat down in the middle of the street, where people were hustling and bustling around. She saw the news clips from various TVs, showing the train incident. _Girl gets rejected!_ It read. She covered her face.

Everybody kind of avoided her, making a circle around her to get on the trains they were supposed to be on. Mois couldn't help crying. She just sobbed.

He was gone. She had tried her hardest, and he was still gone. She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the loud blubbering, but the crying wouldn't stop.

"WAAHH!" she wailed sadly. She saw various people giving her sheepish glances, wondering if they should comfort her, but they tried to avoid her. She didn't care.

She felt someone eventually bump into her, tap her shoulder.

"Leave me alone! Can't you tell I'm crying?" she hissed, turning around angrily.

"Uh... hi," Kululu waved awkwardly. Mois paused and stared at him. Her mouth opened, a little in confusion as her crying stopped. Kululu cleared his throat awkwardly as she just gawked. "I... I... um... You got the wrong train," he told her simply.

"Oh," she answered.

"It was 257. 257 hasn't departed yet."

"Um... well, this is awkward." She blushed a little, but she knew her eyes were still red and puffy and that her lip was quivering. She had been crying quite a bit, and it was hard to just stop it like a light-switch.

"I... I heard you scream. And saw what you did. Well, actually everybody did, but I guess you might not have wanted to hear that..." Kululu told her.

Mois blushed and covered her face. "I'm sorry!" she apologized. "I - I just really wanted to tell you before it was too late. I guess the adrenaline just started going through me and I just made one dumb decision after the next..." She tried to defend her actions.

Kululu nodded, kind of awkwardly looking at his feet. "Do... Do you really love me?" he finally asked.

Mois blushed. "Yes. Yes I do, Kululu. But... if you really want to go, I won't blame you. I really will try to be happy for you."

He was still looking at his feet. "You've done so much for me, Mois. And I'm incredibly thankful."

She closed her eyes. Here was the rejection speech. Now she'd get it twice in one day.

"And, I mean, I suppose a part of me did want you to beg me to stay. If there was something I was staying for, it would be you. You're just as stuck on that miserable place as I am, after all. And the Keroro Platoon isn't all bad. It was kind of funny..." He cleared his throat. "So, how about I give you a choice? That way it's entirely in your control what happens, and I'll do exactly what you wish. As long as it's what you truly want. After all you deserve to be selfish sometimes, too, and I'd be happy if the thing you selfishly wanted was me." He grinned. "So here's what you get to choose. Should I stay at my old job, on Pekopon, working with you, or go to my new one?"

He smiled. It was a trick question. Regardless of what she chose, he won. If she decided to be selfless and tell him to pursue his new job, he'd just take her with him. No way was he going to just leave her when she had told him all that. They'd just ditch Pekopon together. But if she told him Pekopon, he'd know she wanted him so desperately that she wanted to stay on Pekopon with him. And he'd go with her there and start dating her.

Either way, it was a win for him. Mois would be his girlfriend. And she'd choose where to go. There was no losing scenario.

Mois paused and thought. He was giving her the option to choose? He trusted her enough to put his future in her hands? He cared about her enough? He was going to give up everything he had worked for just for her?

It was tough call. She wanted him to stay, but she didn't want to ruin everything for him. But at the same time, she couldn't just let him go.

"I don't want our dating to end," she confessed to him. "I love you. I want you to stay with me. On Pekopon."

Kululu grinned. So that's what she had chosen. Well, if she was willing to stay on that miserable place, he would, too. He could be selfless for once. And it would be much more tolerable with her. He smiled broadly and kissed her delightedly on the lips.

She leaned into it, but it didn't last long. He pulled away to look at her. "Ku, ku, ku!" he laughed. "I feel the same. Always have, always will. Took you long enough to choose, though. I gave you plenty of chances to tell me if you wanted me to stay, but you seemed so supportive... Guess I was wrong."

"Kululu..." He didn't talk to her anymore, though. Instead he buried his face into her shirt and held her. He didn't want her to see him. He didn't want her to see him cry in absolute happiness.

He had been in love with her for a love time. And he wanted to play it cool, but he had never really expected this to happen. He never knew that she felt this for him. It just seemed like a dream.

"Kululu." Mois smiled and held him. She could feel him shaking up against her, crying. This obviously meant a lot to him. She could barely hear his whispering and blubbering about how much he cared for her.

He was so overcome with emotion, and affection. She hadn't expected this from Kululu, to show this side of himself.

"I like you so much, I had no idea. I just... I'm so... some sort of _positive_ word. I don't know."

"Happy?" she giggled.

"Yeah, that," he responded. "You're so perfect, so amazing, I can't believe you actually like me." He trailing off now and rambling saying all sorts of things about her that he liked.

She loved it. She was just so happy to be in love and happy and together. She pulled him off of her shirt, though. He was rambling too much.

"Mois?" he asked, seeing her stare at him.

"I'm going to kiss you," she told him. Kululu paled and blushed, but nodded. This would be their first real kiss as a couple who actually liked each other. He let himself be absorbed by the kisses when she put his mouth on his, pulling her closer as she trailed small kisses along his body and he moaned.

Eventually they were thrown out of the port for their steamy make-out session. They mostly just laughed about it.

"Was it worth it?" she asked, trailing small kisses down his collar bone. "Giving up the job you worked so hard for for me?"

"Ku. I never made it a secret that you're worth much more than a high salary," he grinned. "I mean, I'm literally dating the Lord of Terror. For real this time! Who would give up that chance? An idiot, that's who. And I pride myself on my non-idiocy."

"Kululu, I told you I don't like you bragging about my Angolian status..." she frowned.

"But the status wouldn't be the same if it wasn't you. You make the position, Mois. There will never be another one of you. You aren't the Lord of Terror, the Lord of Terror is _you_."

Mois smiled. So it was just Kululu's way of being affectionate. She could understand that.

She kissed him one last time on the cheek. "Let's go home. I want to start our real relationship with a fresh start."

Kululu nodded. "Okay." He was happy enough to stand up a job offer. It was a jerky thing to do. Perfect for him.

And Mois was just pleased that the were real. There was no longer a pretense, a charade. Their fake dating was over. But their real dating had only just begun.

They had a whole other adventure ahead of them. And she was excited.

* * *

 **Please review**


	14. Return

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

* * *

Keroro played with a Gundam model. It had been a while since he had seen Kululu and Angol Mois. He hoped Mois hadn't died on her trip with Kululu.

Honestly he wouldn't be surprised if she did.

They'd see her again soon, though. Kululu, not as likely. He had seen the resignation paperwork that Kululu had submitted. And it had been mean.

 _Resigning because my Captain is incompetent. Please court-martial him. He's never going to get anything done,_ Kululu had written on his statement. He had dissed everyone else, so Giroro had blown up the paper and now they were all in a world of hurt because they needed to submit it to Keron.

"We're back!" Mois opened the doors in a sing-song voice, carrying Kululu in bridal style. It was a weird picture.

"I bet you missed me." Kululu posed dramatically.

Keroro frowned. "I... I thought you quit."

Kululu let Mois put him down. "I did," he replied. "But then I realized that Pekopon has some amazing curry. Worth staying for. 10/10." He glanced Giroro's way. "And I wouldn't want to leave my adorable lab rat, would I?"

Giroro frowned, pulling out a gun. "I think it would be better if you had left!"

"Aww. You missed me, didn't you?" Kululu wiped a fake tear away from his eye and threw it at Giroro. Giroro didn't know how Kululu could cry out acid, but he somehow did. He hissed at the pain.

A true monster.

Mois frowned, "Kululu was nice enough to decide to stay!" she told them. "Isn't that amazing?"

"Sure... Sure it is," Keroro frowned. He had been disappointed enough that Kululu had resigned, but somehow him staying felt much worse. Was it better having Kululu, or being away from him?

He looked between the two of them. They didn't have their suitcases on them so it appeared they had already unpacked. "So how was your trip? What did you two do?"

"We - " Kululu was cut off as Mois answered for him.

"It was amazing! There were some rough parts, of course, but it was... you could say, a real life changer! Kululu was so sweet and we - " Kululu tugged at her sleeve and cleared his throat. "What?" she asked.

He cleared his throat again.

"You could say, have a frog in your throat?"

He glared at her and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Anyway, Kululu and I have something important to tell you all." She smiled proudly. Kululu grabbed her sleeve again.

"We need to finish unpacking. Got to put our luggage away," he told them, dragging her away.

"But... they weren't carrying any luggage!" Tamama pointed out. It was too late, though. They were gone.

 _I knew he fried her brain,_ Keroro decided.

* * *

Kululu took Mois alone to his lab.

"We don't have anything to unpack," she said. "Your suitcases did it for us."

"I know. It was an excuse," he said. "What were you going to tell them?"

"That we're a loving couple. What's wrong with that?" She looked at him so innocently that he was shocked that she didn't know.

He sighed irritatedly. "Look, I know this might be hard for you to understand, but remember Zhuang? Remember how much I wanted to look like I was dating you to him for my reputation?"

Mois nodded.

"That isn't the same here. I spend more time with these people than him. And sometimes having a girlfriend, specifically you, isn't as... How should I put it... fear-striking. The platoon knows me. I'm not supposed to be likable, unlike at the tech fair." He crossed his arms. "I'm not around nerds. This is a different playing field."

"Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you're ashamed of me or something?" Mois asked. "Or is this about your reputation again?"

"No!" Kululu insisted. "I'm... I'm just not ready to tell them about us. I don't want them to know. At all. So please don't tell them," he begged.

Mois was confused. Why couldn't his platoon know?

"Look, I'm frightened of you. That's all they know about us. I don't care about people. I care about you, but they can't know about that. They're like me. When they see weakness, they pounce..." Kululu gave some huge lecture about how he didn't want to be teased or something, but Mois didn't really listen to him.

 _So basically he's just really really shy,_ she realized. She knew that. Sometimes when things had gotten too real at the convention, he had acted the same way. And Kululu was _always_ worried about his reputation, whether she could help it or not. That was why he had brought her in the first place. He cared a lot about what other people thought of him, and having a girlfriend - at least around the platoon at that time - was just too embarrassing for him to take.

It was hard to adjust to that it was the complete opposite of the last month, but it seemed to fit. Kululu was such a worrywart.

 _He cares too much about appearances. But I suppose we don't have to tell anyone until he's ready._ It wasn't like Kululu was going to take it too far. She could be patient with him.

"All right. I won't tell them until you're ready," she told him respectfully.

Kululu frowned. She didn't seem to get how important his reputation was to him. And there was no harm in keeping it a secret. His and Mois's private life was just that - private. She also didn't seem to understand that he'd never be ready to really make their relationship public.

"So we're going to be dating only _privately_. That all right?" he asked, just to make sure.

"It'll be a bit strange to not be overly affectionate in public, but I'll try!" she told him enthusiastically.

Kululu hoped she was right. He guessed he'd just have to have faith in her. He wasn't going to give her up, but he also wasn't going to give up his scary reputation.

He could have both. He just needed to balance this right.

* * *

Unspoken, they agreed that they didn't want to give up the things that they had become accustomed to. Namely sharing the same bed. It was more comfortable, so Mois just moved into his lab.

 _Hopefully I won't have to explain this to anyone._ Kululu hoped. But he was happy enough to still sleep in the same bed as her.

She had to bring in her own touch to his lab though, cleaning it up a bit to be tidier. He liked the dark and gloomy look, but she insisted that would not be the way things would go.

It disappointed him. But he had to share his living space now, and if Mois wanted it to have a light in it it was a little odd to complain.

* * *

It was pretty easy to learn that sharing the same bed wasn't as innocent as they had expected. Previously they had just been friends snuggling, innocent enough. But now they were in a whole different relationship, and usually one of them wanted to kiss before bed.

And that kissing usually turned into a very steamy make-out session.

Nice enough as just a make-out session, but being in bed offered new possibilities. New, unfortunately inappropriate possibilities.

Neither of them tried to talk about how incredibly horny they were. Their sense of judgment wasn't perhaps the best.

Eventually, Mois brought up the subject. "So.. you know... Um..." she blushed. "This sweater vest is pretty hot to wear. Want to take it off?"

Kululu's jaw opened a little, but he nodded. He wasn't going to complain about what she was hinting at. He carefully started pulling up the sweater vest from off her body -

And the door opened.

"Hey! My gun is malfunctioning. The core heats up too fast and it explodes before it's supposed to..." Giroro glanced up from his gun to see Mois and Kululu. Kululu tried to make it look like they hadn't been just about to do anything by falling off the bed.

"Ohh no!" Mois yelled. "I'm trapped in my sweater vest!" she faked badly, unable to see since her sweater vest was over her head.

"Uhhhhhhhh... ummm... What's going on?" There were so many questions on Giroro's mind. Why was the lab so much bigger? Why was there a bed suddenly in it? Why was Mois pretending to be a ghost? Why was Kululu on the ground?

But most importantly, why was there a lamp? Kululu's lab didn't have light.

"Mois caught something on our trip. Some sort of space bug. I have to examine her until she's better. I would suggest you leave unless you want to catch it. Ku, ku, ku," Kululu told him.

"I had no idea!" That explained why Angol Mois was flailing her arms wildly. Giroro nodded. "Sorry about that. Will she be all right?"

"I hope so. Because she's been acting pretty weird. I was trying to draw some blood, and she just started taking off her shirt. Super weird. Ku."

"I'll leave and come back later, then," Giroro told him, quickly leaving the room. Kululu grinned when he was gone.

"Where were we?" he asked. Mois smeared her shirt back down.

"So I get to be the weird one." She seemed irritated. She knew that it would be hard to explain to Giroro what they had been doing, but she was still a little ticked that they had been interrupted. "Nowhere," she sighed. "Just remember to get a lock on your door next time."

Kululu frowned. He nodded.

* * *

Mois wasn't the best at acting like there was nothing going on with her and Kululu. She was an affectionate person by nature. And she really didn't understand what was bad about dating someone and why she shouldn't proclaim it.

Sometimes when they were sitting in invasion meetings, she tried to make jokes to him, to get his attention, to just validate that they really were dating. But for some reason he seemed to act like he hated her even more than he previously did.

"You okay, Kululu?" Keroro asked. "You've been real nasty to Mois. Have a bad trip?" Keroro asked.

"Ku. Ever been trapped with only one companion for one month? Now imagine if that companion was sparkly and pure. It was a nightmare," he lied.

Mois frowned. That wasn't how she remembered it. Couldn't Kululu just act distant from her? He didn't have to act like he hated her guts. It kind of hurt, actually.

"So you were the one who really died. Should have expected as much," Keroro replied, handing Tamama some money.

"Hehehe. I won the bet," he grinned.

Mois turned away from Kululu, a bit mad. He could have said simply that he enjoyed their trip; he didn't have to act like he was constantly arguing with her and constantly mad.

Kululu noticed her look of discomfort. _She's really not used to the whole "being secretive" thing, is she?_ He sighed. She'd get used to it. She got used to pretending that they _were_ dating, after all. And he'd make it up to her eventually. He just wasn't ready. He reached under the table and squeezed her hand, holding it.

She smiled a bit, happier that he was showing some attention to her. She stroked his hand back.

 _See? We can be affectionate without being all sappy and romantic and with all that gross PDA,_ Kululu thought to himself. But as soon as someone glanced over at them, he let go of her hand.

He couldn't risk it.

* * *

Even though he was incredibly secretive and mean in public to hide their secret, in private he was much more affectionate. They just usually started making out immediately, since acting like they disliked each other was stressful and hard.

They were kissing after the invasion meeting when Kululu's phone rung. "Saburo," he told her, recognizing the ring. He picked it up. "Hey man. I'm back from my vacation, did I tell you yet?"

"He saying anything interesting?" Mois asked.

Kululu made a "shh" sound with his mouth so he could listen to Saburo. Mois frowned. He probably didn't want her to be very loud so Saburo wouldn't know she was there. Lying to even Saburo? Yeah, that was like him.

So she decided to be as quiet as possible. She just continued kissing him along his body, making it very hard for him to talk to Saburo.

"Y-yeah, it was very, very good.~ I mean, no! I didn't get my butt kicked by anybody!" Kululu glared down at Mois. "You can stop," he pleaded, taking his face away from the phone.

"I'm supposed to be quiet. So I am," she whispered, giggling a bit.

Kululu frowned.

"I'm just being a little bit of a jerk. Aren't you proud?" she asked.

"Well of course I'm proud! But that's not the point!" He went back to the call. "Someone? Here? Oh - yeah, I'm working with Mois right now. But she's trying to prank me. ...It isn't working."

Mois kissed him softer, giggling a bit as she kissed him in places she knew he liked the best.

"How was Mois? Oh she was amazing, I mean dreadful! Dreadful! That's what I meant... I uhh... I have to go for a second." Kululu shut off his phone and glared at her. "Did you _have_ to do that?"

"Just trying to make secretly dating actually _fun_. What if we almost get caught again? I've read enough books to know this," she told him.

Kululu sighed. "You gonna do that every time I'm on the phone?"

"Yep," she affirmed. "If I can only be affectionate to you when we're alone, doesn't that count?"

Kululu frowned and ruffled her hair. He knew this was hard on her. But tomorrow he'd make it up to her. That would be their first real date. And he was positive he knew how to do at least that much.

* * *

 **Please review! And so the secretly dating arc begins. The opposite of the fake dating arc. Perhaps it'll be less chapters than I thought since these chapters seem pretty short.**


	15. First Date

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Short but sweet chapter.**

 **I kind of liked this chapter. I doubt my sister did though.**

* * *

He had planned their first date perfectly. It seemed like the type of thing a date should be, just sort of hanging out with a bud.

"You really want to go out? On like a date?" Mois looked skeptical. "Aren't you worried someone will see us?"

"Nah, the platoon won't be there. Don't worry," Kululu told her. "Anyway, we're dating. It would be a bit odd _not_ to actually do the 'dating' part. Ku, I guess we never did pretend to go on any dates so this might be a bit odd. But it'll be our first, right?"

Mois's eyes shined excitedly. A first date! She had heard so many things about these - they were romantic, wonderful and overall amazing.

She had way too high standards, however. _I wonder what it'll be like?_ In that Disney Aladdin movie, Aladdin had taken Jasmine out on a magic carpet ride. Would Kululu do that with her?

No, he'd go bigger and better! She was sure. He was leaving it as a surprise it must have been something big.

Her fantasies ranged anywhere from incredibly romantic magic carpet rides, to riding on a yacht on the ocean and dolphins jumping through rainbows, to destroying a civilization.

All of those were romantic to her. And she was sure Kululu had something along that line.

"Should I wear a blindfold when you lead me there? Ohh, what should I wear? I'm so excited!" she squealed.

"Uhh..." Kululu frowned. He didn't understand what reason there was to be excited. Was he missing something? "No. You don't have to wear a blindfold," he said. "And what you're wearing is fine."

Mois frowned. It wasn't cute enough. She needed to be cuter. A first date was very important, after all, and even if Kululu was already her boyfriend and she had already made a first impression, she wanted to make a good _date_ impression.

She'd wear some sort of cute dress. She'd figure it out.

* * *

Kululu didn't understand why Mois couldn't just meet him in the lab like a normal person. But he supposed it was easier to pretend they weren't going out together if they left the house separately.

 _She sure is weird. Why does she want to meet me outside? It's inefficient. Is this just some sort of weird thing other people do on dates?_ he wondered. He had minimal knowledge about dating as it was.

But he wasn't too worried about someone catching them this time. If they did, he could just tell them the truth. He was going out shopping with Mois for new computer parts on alien street.

 _Ku! Perfect first date!_ He was so proud of himself. He had worked very hard at thinking of what Angol Mois would want to do for their first date - would she want to go someplace unfamiliar or look at computer stuff?

The answer had always been obvious in his heart. She would want to go to the computer store. She was a nerd for technology, he had seen the way she had looked at things with wonder at the TEC. And he could probably impress her with his knowledge.

It was plenty romantic and extremely non-threatening. That was important. And it was just normal. Like a hang out session with a friend. That's what dates were supposed to be like... right?

"Mois!" Kululu ran up to Mois, who was waiting on the sidewalk for him. She was in a blue sun dress.

"Hi, Kululu." Waving, she gave him a broad smile, and then waited for him to compliment her dress or something.

"Okay, umm, let's go catch the train," he said. "Ku. I love getting on free with my anti-barrier. Ku, ku, ku." He completely ignored her appearance.

Mois frowned. "Um... do you like how I look?"

"Yeah, you're disguise as a Pekoponian is very efficient," he responded. "Why?"

She giggled. "No, I meant, do you like my dress?"

"It... is a dress." He stated the obvious. But Mois was still frowning. He winced. She was probably looking for fashion advice - something he could easily give. "But if you want my opinion, I think purple or yellow suits you better than light blue. I could have probably made something better." He turned away before he could see that she was even more irritated at him.

 _Nailed it!_ He was great at this.

* * *

They rode the train. Mois tried to make chit-chat with him and hold his hand, but he made it clear that it was invisible and she'd get odd looks if she held his hand.

So he just sat in her lap so nobody would sit on him. She was happy enough with that, but he wasn't being the least bit romantic.

"We're here," he told her, showing her to Alien Street.

Mois looked around. Where would he bring her? A resort? "Alien Street!" She smiled. It was smart thinking. He didn't have to be invisible there.

"Over here. This is where we're going to go." Kululu brought her to a small store.

Mois looked around. Where was the date?

"Ta-da! Computer store! Isn't this cool? Now we can look at hardware and stuff!"

"Um...Kululu, I don't think shopping for things out of necessity really counts as a date..." She tried to be polite when she realized Kululu had taken her out to a computer store for a first date. Her disappointment was immense - her expectations had been pretty high for romance, after all. This was the polar opposite. She forced a laugh. "It's definitely not the most romantic of places..."

"Ro-man-tic?" Kululu sounded out the foreign word. Dates were supposed to have romance in them?

When he thought of romance, he thought of those lame movies that Mois liked. She wanted something like that?

No! She'd have fun with this, too! He could prove to her that this was better than some sort of really extravagant date.

"Listen, we can make this fun. Really!" Kululu insisted. "How about we play a game. Pick out some cheap parts and I can make a supercomputer out of it. Really. I'll prove it. Then I'll sell it for twice as much as we bought it for. Ku, ku, ku. It'll be amazing."

Angol Mois sighed. Was he even trying? She twiddled her fingers. "That does sound pretty fun." She tried to give him some credit.

He felt a bit better.

"It's just..." If it had to be a simple date, she would have imagined them holding hands, kissing, saying sweet nothings to each other as they drank fancy drinks or something like that... But maybe he had more planned after this.

 _Maybe our standards for romance are a little too different..._ They didn't have everything in common, and although it sounded like fun and she liked going to computer stores with Kululu, it wasn't exactly a date. It was just... going somewhere.

"All right. Let me pick some things out," she decided. She liked Kululu. She could do this. After all, some of the things she liked people wouldn't have said were romantic either, like hitting volcanoes or examining fault lines. She rubbed her hands together.

She could make this fun. But next date she'd pick where they went.

* * *

Kululu did make many super-computers, and he believed this to be the ideal sort of date, but he noticed that after they were going home Mois didn't seem the most pleased at him. It was actually like she had thought the date had been kind of sort of immensely awful.

"Is... uhh... something wrong?" he asked carefully. If they broke up after one date, he'd kick himself. He couldn't be _that_ bad at this sort of thing, right?

"No, not really." She sighed. "I'm just a little disappointed that it wasn't more romantic, but I guess my expectations were just a little too high and unrealistic."

"Huh. You mean the thing about the dolphins jumping through rainbows?"

Mois nodded.

He sighed. "I think it was plenty romantic. I mean a date is just two people spending time with each other, right?"

"With feelings and atmosphere!" she added. "But you didn't kiss me even once. Actually, you barely paid attention to me. When we were going home, you paid more attention to a child on the street who was talking about being an explorer so you could ruin his dreams!"

"I... I did pay attention to you!" he defended. "I asked you if you needed anything for your computer."

"Well, some people do give each other gifts on dates, so I guess you got that right." She gave him a point. "It's all right. I guess I was just expecting you to pay more attention to me... You know, having me be the only thing on your mind and telling me sweet loving words. That sort of thing."

Kululu opened his mouth to complain against that. But it wasn't actually too unreasonable of a request.

 _Oh, wow. I really DID ruin this day, didn't I?_ Mois was so different than him, with her minimum standards. Now he'd made her unhappy, but she was really trying to put herself down to his level. He looked apologetic.

"It's all right, Kululu! I did have fun! I just... kind of wanted to go on a date. A romantic one! I do like doing that stuff with you, though," She told hi., "And your supercomputers were cool."

 _Ick. Pity. She knows I'm bad at this..._ "Let me make it up to you," he requested. "How about I try to take you out for a _real_ romantic date tomorrow? Something that you might like more?"

Mois thought for a moment. "You sure? If you're just more comfortable staying inside, I guess there's nothing I can do about it..."

"No. Let me have another chance," he said. "I can make it better."

Mois nodded.

* * *

He knew he'd do better this time because Mois didn't have as high of hopes. Her expectations were low, so anything he would do would be better than she expected.

"I brought a bathing suit for you. So you wouldn't have to do that weird thing about worrying what to wear," he told her when she went out to meet him. "This one doesn't have those distracting spirals either." He had carried a basket.

Mois looked confused. "What are we doing this time, Kululu?"

"Surprise. Do you want the blind-fold? I bet that would increase the atmosphere." He really did want to impress her and make it up to her.

Mois thought for a moment. "Sure." He blind-folded her and he lead her away.

* * *

"We're here," he said. He peeled off Mois's blind fold and gave her a kiss.

They were on an empty beach.

"I tried to look for the beach with the softest sand. Then I used my weather satellite to make it extremely sunny today. Then I posted a quarantine sign to keep others away from this place. They think there's some sort of killer virus the seagulls are carrying that can effect Pekoponians." He chuckled evilly. Even preparing for a date, he was a jerk. He had ruined so many people's vacations.

Mois beamed. "You did all that just to prepare for a date with me?"

"A private and romantic one. Just for you. Ku. I even made you a picnic," he told her. Mois squealed.

He was so proud. "D-did I do better?"

Mois threw herself at him, pummeling him to the sand with kisses. "Yes! Very much so!"

 _Dates aren't so bad, I guess,_ Kululu thought.

"Now, let's make extravagant sand castles and DESTROY them!" she suggested.

"KU! I knew there was a reason I'd fallen in love with you, out of everyone," he said. "I love that creative destruction you bring to a date."

Mois smiled and laughed and they destroyed most of the beach.

* * *

Mois insisted they watched the sunset together and look at the dolphins. They weren't jumping through rainbows or anything, but that was okay. Kululu knew she was just trying to make this date as text-book romantic as she could. He didn't really care. Making out on the beach wasn't so bad.

Eventually the sun started going down. "We should probably go back. We do need to sleep eventually."

"Do we _have_ to?" she whined.

"Yeah. I mean, we can't spend the night on a beach," he chuckled.

"We don't _have_ to end the date yet. We could spend the night at a hotel or something." She glanced at him shyly. "I think there's one around this area."

"A _love_ hotel - "

"I know."

Kululu drew his breath. That... _would_ get rid of the problem of Giroro interrupting. And if she wanted to... Well, he had no complaints!

 _I can't believe it was a romantic date that got me into her pants._ He was glad that hadn't been the reason he had taken her out, but he would take note of it. It was an interesting observation to make.

"Let's go," he told her, taking her hand. And she smiled at him.

She was happy.

* * *

 **Someday I really will make them not bang in a story. That day is not today however.**

 **Please review**


	16. Secret

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Hopefully they'll make up next chapter.**

* * *

The next day Kululu was almost as affectionate as Mois in public. He was much better at being secretive, holding her hand under the table and stealing glances only when he was sure that nobody was looking, but he was still extremely affectionate.

Mois didn't even try to hide how much she liked Kululu. She'd just complimented him in front of everyone.

At first, he didn't mind. All he could really think about was Mois. Sometimes he'd have to remind himself that other people were even talking.

"So what did you two do on your vacation?" Keroro asked.

"Amazing things. Amazing things," Kululu muttered.

"Uhhh..." Keroro cleared his throat to get Kululu's attention.

"Oh. We did... uh... things. She held my stuff so I could show it off, stuff like that. I got an amazing job with high pay and stood the guy up. Never went into work, but I guess he doesn't know yet because I've been still getting my paychecks! Ku, ku, ku. I already used up my sick days. This is amazing." He chuckled.

Keroro winced. He felt sorry for whoever had hired Kululu. They probably regretted it now.

He tried to just act like normal about how Kululu had ditched their platoon. Tried to act friendly and all to try to bridge the gap that Kululu thought there was or something. He knew Kululu didn't admire him much as a Captain.

"You and Mois seem closer after your vacation," he noted.

Kululu scooted away from her. They _had_ been extremely close. Crud _! Is he catching on?_ All his fears suddenly came back.

"I don't think we did that many close things on our vacation," Mois covered. "In fact... I would say we're much _closer_ now." She winked at Kululu, and Kululu covered his face.

Keroro looked slightly uncomfortable. Kululu didn't know why. Keroro laughed nervously. "Yeah! I suppose so! I mean, nowadays, it's like your practically married!"

Kululu paled and clutched onto the table. Keroro could not afford to think that. He stood up. "We aren't. Not at all," he said. "Don't put on us that level."

He didn't want people to start teasing him. Keroro had to just pop his bubble of happiness by suspecting. Why couldn't it just be him and Mois?

Mois frowned. That was pretty hurtful. She knew he really didn't want them to know, but did he have to say it so bluntly.

She scooted away from him, too, not for the same reason.

* * *

When they were alone in his lab, Mois expected him to do the usual and briskly make out with her, but instead he looked angry.

"You have to pretend better. He's started suspecting us," he said.

"What's the problem with him suspecting us? And I was pretending just as badly as you!" she said. "You were doing pretty bad to pretend you and I weren't that close."

Kululu frowned. That was true, but he didn't want to admit it. "You don't understand. People see you as a people person. I'm the most dislikable guy! That's my thing here. I don't want it to end," he said. "And you know this other thing called karma? I've ruined their lives _so_ much. They already know I have a weak spot for you. If they knew we were dating, I'd... I'd be the next Giroro! The next Giroro, Mois!" That was too terrifying of a thought to bear.

Mois crossed her arms and sighed. She would never understand Kululu's fear of people. But she wanted to help him. "Don't worry, I'll think of something. I can make sure they don't suspect us anymore."

"Good." He still seemed exasperated, and he knew he should be irritated at himself for not owning up to their relationship, but he couldn't help it.

* * *

However, the method she chose to convince everyone that they weren't together wasn't one he fully supported.

"Uncle!" Mois smiled and threw her arms around Keroro.

"Oof!" Keroro was choked.

"I missed you so much on my trip. You could say, you were in my thoughts?" She made a kissy face.

Keroro squirmed away. "Uhh. That's very nice, Mois."

"Let's do something together. Can I watch you build a Gundam model?"

"Could you? I'd love for you to watch me!" Keroro smiled.

Kululu narrowed his eyes. He knew what she was doing. It was a smart move. Everybody knew she had liked Keroro, so they'd easily believe her. But something about it felt wrong.

He didn't like seeing his girlfriend extra close to Keroro. Or anywhere near him.

"Jealousy!" Tamama seemed to state the feeling pretty well. "I told you to get rid of her! Why'd you have to bring her back?"

"Trust me, I didn't want to bring her back here, either," Kululu reassured him, thinking of the life they could have had off of Pekopon. But she had chosen Pekopon, and he'd respect that choice.

 _This_ choice he didn't like, though.

* * *

He didn't know why he was uncomfortable with it. She was doing it for him - he'd asked her to. She was just trying to be a good girlfriend and do what he wanted.

He could stay away from her, but sometimes she wouldn't leave the room with him to spend time with him because she was too busy spending time with Keroro for her act.

The rest of the platoon fell for it, Tamama especially. Kululu was happy that nobody believed they were dating anymore, but he was still worried.

 _She fell in love with me because we were acting,_ he recalled. It had been an act that had turned to reality. He was unaware if she had any feelings before that.

From that, he knew she was prone to turning pretend into reality. And right now she was pretending to be in love with Keroro for him. _She used to be in love with him,_ he recalled. Would she fall for him again?

He had told her to not talk about Keroro during their month of pretend dating. That had taken him off her mind and put Kululu into it. But now the wave of Keroro was coming back.

 _Maybe she's just a very good actor and I'm just falling for her pretense,_ he thought to himself. That might have been likely.

* * *

He couldn't help watching them when they were together. He knew Mois wouldn't cheat on him - she'd break things off beforehand - but he didn't want her to.

"Thanks for the new Gundam, Mois! You're great!" Keroro patted her head affectionately. Tamama hissed. Keroro gave him a sour look and Tamama frowned and turned away.

 _That should be me. She should be paying attention to me,_ Kululu thought to himself. But Mois was looking at Keroro with loving eyes.

 _That's a hint of real love, isn't it? I see the sparkle._ He was way jealous. He just curled up in a little ball of jealousy as he watched them.

He'd ask Mois if any of it was for real later. He had to confront her. Holding this against her, that she was doing exactly as he told her to do, wouldn't help anyone.

* * *

They were in the lab alone. He knew it was the right time to ask her.

"So... you and the Captain. Been getting closer lately, huh?" he asked quietly.

"Yep! Everybody fell for it. Now nobody's bothering you about me," she said.

Kululu paused, thinking over something. He moved toward her and started snuggling against her, waiting for her reaction.

She happily held him closer, giving him a kiss on the top of his head. "Why?"

"Do you like him?" he asked. "Are you still in love with him?"

"I'm in love with you, Kululu."

"That's not an answer." He pulled away. "It was a yes or no question. It's a yes, isn't it?"

Mois giggled a bit. So the reason Kululu was acting so strange was because he was jealous. Kind of odd, since she was doing this for him. "I don't like him. I'm pretending to like him for you, remember? Because you don't want anyone to think we're dating."

Kululu frowned. He wasn't reassured. He was still scared. "But... you're going to fall in love with him. Because you're pretending. That's what happened with us, remember? The pretend slowly turned into a reality."

Mois sighed and gave him a cold frown. "Do you think I just fall for people willy-nilly? Do you not trust me? Do you not think I'm mature enough to actually pretend this and not fall in love with Uncle?"

Kululu stuttered. That was not what he had been going for. But now she felt like he was suspecting her. He was just extremely self-conscious and doubtful, it wasn't her fault. He just didn't know how to explain that. "No... it's just that... I mean... you used to like him."

"I like _you_ now. I love you, Kululu. I'm not going to stop just because I'm pretending to like Uncle. Trust me, okay? I don't want to be doing this either, but you were the one so desperate to make sure nobody thought we were dating."

Kululu didn't know what to tell her. He didn't want to tell her to stop, because that would conflict with how he previously told her to be secretive about their relationship. He just wanted her to decide for herself to stop.

Mois glared at him, waiting for an apology. But no apology came. Kululu just didn't know how to explain how incredibly doubtful he was and that he just had problems with the idea of Mois liking Keroro. The guy was too lucky, and so Kululu was afraid of it ending.

He didn't know how to explain it to her.

She sighed since he wasn't saying anything. "I'm going."

"Where?" Kululu asked.

"To my room," she answered. "I'm going to sleep there tonight."

Kululu frowned. She was really mad at him. "Mois, wait... Look, I really want this relationship to be a secret, but at the same time..." She closed the door behind him. _I want you to pay attention to me constantly. I suppose that's conflicting information, though, isn't it?_

Kululu sighed. He was terrible at this.

* * *

He couldn't talk to Mois about Keroro. It was very clear that he was afraid that she'd fall back in love with him. But at the same time, he didn't want to just let them be.

So he tried desperately one-upping Keroro in everything. Humiliating him. Showing him how much better he was than everyone else. Replacing his banana peels on the ground with paint so he just thought there was a banana peel there.

It was pathetic.

Everyone else just brushed it off as Kululu being a normal jerk, but Mois knew why he was doing it. She shook her head and sighed. Kululu really needed to just talk to her about the problem. But he didn't. He just was very mean and nasty to Keroro.

Keroro had no idea what any of this was about.

* * *

Giroro really didn't pay attention to all the pain Keroro was going through, but he did pay attention to the pictures Garuru sent him of Mois and Kululu kissing.

 _Explain this to me,_ he had texted him. Giroro was just as confused as he was, though.

He finally asked Kululu. "My brother sent me some very interesting pictures of your vacation with Mois. Care to explain?" He showed off the pictures.

Kululu paled. Mois turned away. She didn't like remembering it.

Keroro looked at the floor awkwardly.

"WHORE! WHORE! I KNEW IT!" Tamama screeched.

"Awww... they're kissing... That's sweet. Umm... but it looks a bit... intense," said Dororo. They probably shouldn't have been doing anything like that before marriage.

Kululu sighed. The only way out of this was the truth. "We did that to tick off Garuru. You caught me."

"What?" said Giroro.

"I actually brought Mois to that convention because of a stupid bet. I needed to pretend someone was my girlfriend and she had good enough status to borrow," he explained.

Keroro rubbed his head. "So... you _did_ date her for a month? But only for pretend? This is so confusing."

Mois frowned. She thought he hadn't wanted people to know! But she guessed it was better than the real truth to him that they had _actually_ fallen in love.

"Garuru was threatening to expose us if I didn't do something for him that I didn't want to do. I won't go into the details - " The super-glue cure. " - so I convinced him by sickening him. And that's what went on on our vacation."

"And Mois was willing to just fake that with you?" Giroro grimaced. Mois really needed to learn when to refuse someone.

"I bribed her," he said simply.

Giroro nodded. That was believable.

And everybody believed him. Mois wasn't too happy with his story.

Kululu smiled. He neglected the most important part that they were really together, so he was safe.

* * *

 **Please review.**

 **Kululu really sucks at this. Cares too much about his pride.**


	17. Elegance

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **One more chapter after this!**

* * *

Mois was still mad at him, and he had to fix it. Also she was still flirting with Keroro.

He wanted to talk to her, but what could he say? He knew she was uncomfortable with this whole "desperately keeping things a secret" shebang. She couldn't understand why she wasn't important enough for him to just love out in the open.

 _It's not as simple as that._ He knew what he was doing was stupid, too, but he couldn't help it. He was scared of the judgment he would get from his platoon. All he was was dislikable, so if people didn't fear him, he'd just be an ugly genius.

He would have liked to just care about Mois's opinion, but he cared about others', too. She couldn't fix his self-confidence issues all on her own.

 _I guess I could try to fix the Keroro issue, though._ He knew he just had to be honest with her. He hoped she'd be happy enough to just quit flirting with him.

"Mois." He tried to talk to her in a professional, business-like tone. She wasn't too happy with the way he had told about their fake dating. He knew she had been embarrassed about the picture and too mad about it to get a chance to explain it herself. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

She sighed. "It's all right. Telling the truth was a good idea, I suppose."

"No, I mean about suspecting you'd fall back in love with the Captain," he clarified. "I... I just... I don't like seeing him with you. I'm a little jealous and... I guess self-conscious that you really will leave me for him, but it's not an issue with you. I don't trust myself to keep you happy, not the other way around."

Mois crouched down and hugged him. She knew he had some self-confidence issues. That was why he wanted to keep things secret so much. And she didn't want him to be jealous. "I'm sorry. I know it must have been tough on you. I wasn't doing it to hurt you, I just wanted to do what you wanted me to do."

Kululu nodded. "I know. But... I can't deal the two of you. So please, I don't care if it makes them suspect us more, please just don't flirt with him," he asked, clutching her and hugging her back.

She smiled and kissed him on the nose. That was something she could do easily. "I'd love to. Don't worry, consider him and me over."

Kululu smiled. One thing he knew about Mois was that she would always be understanding about honesty. And although he had problems being honest all the time, it felt good to be supported and for her to just agree with him when he asked her something.

He kissed her a bit, hoping for her to be less mad.

* * *

He knew they needed some time away from the others, though. Mois was someone who thrived on affection. And as he had learned on their beach date, she liked romantic dates.

 _Ku. I'll make it up to her. I'll show her how much I appreciate her being patient with me._ He could take her on one of those cheesy storybook romantic dates. Extremely elegant and romantic, completely made for her.

He looked online for expensive and extravagant, romantic restaurants. He found one that was pretty good. A long wait list to book a seat, but through some scamming, he quickly got one for the next night.

He grinned. The next part would be harder to prepare, but geez would her smile be big when she saw it.

He set to work.

* * *

 _Mois. Meet me at this location at 12 o'clock,_ he texted her. He knew she checked her texts constantly.

He waited for her at the old construction site that his platoon had used a few times. He grinned, very proud of all his hard work.

"I came as soon as possible!" Mois approached him. "What did you need?"

Kululu just grinned like he had finished an amazing inventions. "I just wanted to take the cutest girl in the universe out on a date. Also I had something to show you."

Mois blushed. She loved when Kululu was affectionate to her. And he was so much more affectionate when nobody else was around. "What is it?"

Kululu lead Mois through the old construction and down some stairs into a large fissure that she herself had made. He lead her to a huge museum. "I finished it for you!" he told her proudly. "The fault line museum you worked on when we all thought we had money!"

Mois gasped. "Y-you finished it?"

"Yep. Easy enough. And it's all yours," he told her. She started grinning. Extravagant gestures always won her heart. She was so predictable. "Want the grand tour?"

Mois nodded, totally speechless. This was so nice!

* * *

She was amazed at everything. It was spectacular.

"Our date's not over yet. I want to take you to dinner too!" Kululu told her. Mois was still shocked. He was being so romantic.

 _I will not screw up with this one. I know being secretive has been stressing her out,_ he thought. He got into his Pekoponian suit and took her to the fancy restaurant he had found.

"It's so fancy! Why here?" she asked.

"I thought it would be romantic," he told her.

She clutched his cheeks and kissed him. "This is wonderful! I'm so happy!"

He happily lead her into the restaurant and they were seated. He sometimes twitched a bit when she stared at him and stole glances at him from behind her menu, but he was happy that she was happy.

"This is just amazing. I don't think anything can ruin it," she told him.

"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu liked the compliments. It was a great ego boost to be told how good he was doing.

"You're the best boyfriend ever!" she smiled. She leaned over the table to kiss him.

He kissed her deeply, but for a second paused as he put his hand in her hair. He could see someone behind her. Someone familiar.

"Kululu?" Mois asked. Kululu was staring transfixed, but not at her. She looked behind her.

"Is everything set up for mistress Momoka's date with Fuyuki? He accepted the invitation?" Paul asked into a walkie-talkie.

Kululu paled. He hadn't noticed before, but Nishizawa guards were all over the place. Mois frowned.

She reached over to caress Kululu's cheek, but he pulled it down, looking worried.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure Momoka only cares about her date with Fuyuki. If we don't bother them, they won't bother us," Mois reassured him.

Kululu wasn't so sure. Fuyuki was dense. He probably wouldn't even realize he was on a date with Mois, but if he told anyone, they would realize.

He couldn't be romantic with Mois under these conditions. He had done good enough. He had to ruin things, to assure that Momoka and Fuyuki wouldn't go on that date.

He would be given away if they saw them being romantic. And it wouldn't be like Kululu if he wasn't a jerk.

Momoka and Fuyuki walked into the restaurant.

"Table for two," a host noted. Momoka tried to hold onto Fuyuki's hand, but Fuyuki didn't notice.

"Nice place!" Fuyuki smiled. "So what occult finding did you want to talk about?"

He didn't even notice Mois and Kululu.

Momoka noticed them, though. Her eyes widened when she saw Kululu. If he behaved well, she didn't care if he was there, but she suspected he was there to ruin her date. She made a slicing motion with her finger over her neck at him when Fuyuki wasn't looking.

"Kululu..." Mois whispered to him. "Don't do anything to ruin their day. They don't care about us," she reassured. "If you don't feel comfortable here, we can leave and do something else."

Kululu frowned. It was too late for that. They had seen them. "Sorry, Mois. I got other things to do. Just play along." He pat her head. Hiding from them wouldn't work - Momoka had already seen them. And he doubted she didn't care. Her mind must have been focused on exposing him and Mois's relationship!

 _Fuyuki's so cute,_ was actually what Momoka was thinking. She didn't care at all about Kululu. He wasn't her concern.

Momoka and Fuyuki waited for the waiter. Kululu stood up and pushed their waiter out of the way.

"Ku, ku, ku. May I take your order?" he asked.

Momoka frowned. He dodged a few stun guns her soldiers shot at him. Mois just covered her face.

"Kululu! I didn't know you worked here!" Fuyuki totally fell for it. Momoka twisted her napkin into little bits.

"Ku. I don't. I just came to ruin your love-birds' evening. The two of us were lying in wait for you all day. Ku, ku, ku!" He sighed in relief. Now he had a reason for being around Angol Mois that they had fallen for.

"We're not birds, Kululu. Or are we? Should I put that in the theory journal?" Fuyuki asked. "Truly, what is a bird?" He looked down at his hands.

Kululu rolled his eyes. "How about some drinks to start you off with this evening."

Momoka glared. "Don't you dare!"

Kululu picked up a pitcher of water and poured it on Fuyuki's head. "Ku, ku, ku. Guess I dared."

"You'll regret that!" Momoka hissed.

"Awww... now I'm all cold," Fuyuki sneezed.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't want to leave you alone." Kululu quickly poured some soda on Momoka's head. "Now you match! A little bit at least."

Momoka growled. "I'm going to kill him!" Her dress had cost millions. And now it was ruined.

"Mistress, nooo... That will ruin the evening even more... Let me handle this," Paul begged. Momoka leaped out of her seat like a jaguar and pummeled Kululu, throwing his Keronian body out of his Pekoponian suit.

* * *

Needless to say, all four were thrown out of the restaurant. Momoka had to buy the restaurant at the end to pay for damages. At one time she had chased Kululu down and caused a fire.

It was probably Fuyuki and Mois's worst date. They both just sighed and looked at each other.

"Is this normal for you, too?" he asked.

"Sadly," she nodded. "The first time I've been thrown out of someplace, though."

Fuyuki pat her on the back. "Good luck with him. I think you should ditch you endeavors," he advised. Mois scrunched up her nose. He had fallen for Kululu's story?

Kululu was extremely bruised up, but he was happy. Neither Momoka or Fuyuki had believed Mois and he had just been coincidentally there too because they had been on a date. Unfortunately, he didn't know Mois was also pretty mad at him. He had assumed it was just Fuyuki and Momoka who were mad.

"Let's get you home to bandage you up," Mois grumbled.

"Okay!" Kululu was pretty proud of himself. He had been a great jerk.

* * *

As Mois bandaged him up, she sighed. She had to put her foot down. "This is going too far. Your level of desperation to cover up our relationship is too wild."

"What?"

"Listen, I think we should tell someone. Your obsession with keeping things a secret, it's got to stop," she said. "But since you don't want to tell your platoon, I think we should just tell one person. That would be easier for you. And then you'd see that maybe it's not too bad... How about Saburo? He's your best friend. I think that's a good idea," she smiled, trying to be kind and patient with him.

"I can't tell Saburo. He's just like me - a big jerk. He'd tease me just like the platoon would," he said. "Saburo is a bad choice."

Mois made an irritated sound. "Someone else, then?"

"I can't. They all wouldn't understand us. Our relationship. We have to keep it a secret, Mois—"

She cut him off. "Kululu, listen to me. I love you."

Kululu smiled. It couldn't be bad news if she started a sentence like that.

"But I want to be with you. I don't want to hide it. And what you're doing is making it very hard to have any moments with you. I feel like constantly hiding it is on your mind. We cuddle in the lab and someone walks in. Somewhere else we could run into someone we know. I want to just be with you. I'm not asking you to tell _everyone_ \- just one person of your choice so that you feel more comfortable about us together. Because sometimes I feel like you're... ashamed of me."

"I'm not ashamed of you," he reassured. Mois smiled. "I'm ashamed of our relationship!"

Now she frowned.

"It's a big difference. I like spending time with you, but I'm not supposed to like people. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. I tried not to. But now you're in my life, and I have to deal with that," he said. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're not a jerk. I am. I'm a big jerk and dating a sweetheart like you... Well, it would ruin me. Being with you would ruin how everyone perceives me."

Mois listened closely to what he was saying. What he was implying wasn't that he was shy. It was just that there was something wrong with her and he was ashamed of her.

She stood up.

"Mois?"

She turned around.

"Uhhh... Mois? You understand, right?"

She ran out of the room sobbing her head off.

Kululu's eyes widened. _Crud. I didn't want that to happen at all. What happened? What did I do?_ Was she mad? Or was she just sad? What should he do? He didn't know how to comfort people.

But he felt incredibly guilty.

He decided to just give her some space. The problem was with him, after all. He was a big jerk. When being with her suited him, he'd exploit it. When being with her didn't, he'd hide it. He was selfish.

He felt terrible.

 _I'll talk to her tomorrow. Maybe I'll even agree to tell someone. Dororo might be understanding._ He sighed. He hoped she just cried it out.

But she obviously didn't want to see him. _I'm so terrible at this._ He didn't deserve her. She had been patient with him and when she was very uncomfortable with something, he had chosen his comfort over her own and ruined their date.

He'd talk to her tomorrow. He'd give in.

He'd prove to her that there wouldn't be any more pain in this relationship, that he really did truly care.

* * *

 **Kululu kind of doesn't understand people.**

 **Please review.**


	18. Reveal

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Last chapter! Yay!**

* * *

Kululu couldn't sleep much that night. He was worried about Mois. The next morning, bright and early, he went to go check on her.

But she wasn't in her room. He looked all around the house worriedly wondering where she could have gone.

But she wasn't anywhere.

"Seen Mois?" Kululu asked Keroro. Keroro shook head.

"I've seen her," Natsumi finally spoke up seeing him asking about her.

Kululu brightened up. "Where did she go?"

"She said she was going back home to Angol for a while." Natsumi shrugged. "Something about wanting to talk to her cousin."

Kululu frowned. He couldn't go to Angol. It was on a different dimension.

 _Damn._ She must have been really upset. He hoped she wasn't still crying.

He couldn't give up looking for her, though. He knew when Mois was upset, she tended to destroy things, meaning she wouldn't be on Angol for long.

He went to go get a space pod. If he followed the trail of dead planets, eventually he'd find her.

* * *

Exactly, as Kululu had predicted Mois was sitting on an asteroid with another, darker-skinned Angolian a little older than her.

"There, there, Mois. He's a sucky guy. Kill him," her cousin, Fear, comforted.

"I don't want to! I love him! But he's so ashamed of me. I thought he loved me, too... I thought everything would be happy between us. I wanted him so much to come back to Pekopon with me... But he thinks I'm bad for his reputation," she sobbed.

"Leave him," Fear said simply. Her relationship advice was simple. If they sucked, leave. If they hurt you, leave. It was an easy formula.

"But I still love him. And bumps happen in any relationship..." she whimpered.

"Want me to beat him up?" Fear asked again. Mois shook her head. She just cried some more.

Kululu's space pod eventually found its way to them. _Knew she'd be here._ So many dead planets. If he wasn't so worried about Mois, he'd be proud.

He put on a space helmet and got out of his pod onto the asteroid with them. Fear stiffened up and put her arms protectively around her crying cousin.

"Go away. She doesn't want to see you," Fear growled.

"This is between herand me," Kululu told her. "You can't solve the problems I created." Fear didn't back down. "Listen, I'm here to apologize. To talk to her. I didn't mean to make her cry or be a big jerk. Not to her, at least," he said. "I love Mois. A lot, more than I've loved any person. Please let me talk to her."

Fear sighed. "Fine. But if you ever make her cry again, all of us Angolians will murder you. And trust me when I say it will be painful. You don't want a tribe of planet destroyers after you."

Kululu waved his hand. "Don't worry. You have nothing to Fear." He paused. "Ku, ku, ku."

Mois laughed a bit, despite her sadness.

Fear glared at her. "You're mad at him. You're not supposed to laugh at his crummy jokes!"

"Sorry, it's just... Did you hear what he said? You're fear..." She wiped a tear from her eyes. Fear sighed.

"I'll just go to another asteroid while you two talk. There's plenty around." She flew off. Mois's laughter eventually waned and she stared at Kululu.

"What are you here for?" she asked him. Kululu rubbed his head.

"To apologize. I never meant to make you sad, or make you cry. It won't happen again," he promised.

"How can you not make me sad, though? You're _ashamed_ of me. You said that our relationship was what you were ashamed of." She glared at him. He wanted to go up and hug her, but she looked like she wanted to slap him.

Instead, he sat down by her side. He had to speak honestly, be polite and calm. That was the only way to get through to her.

"I'm sorry. I'm not really ashamed of our relationship. I'm very happy that we're in it. It... It means so much to me. So much that I'm frightened of it being exposed, because I don't know if someone would make it end. I don't know how people would react, if their teasing would get to me, to you... I'm just worried. I love you. I really do. I'm just scared. Ku. I said it. There you go," he said. "I'm not... used to these sorts of things. I've no idea how to act, having someone like you in my life. It frightens me, doing all these new things, feeling all these new things. You're so cute, Mois. I want to treat you perfectly, thank you for choosing me out of everyone, but fact is... I can't. I'm really bad at this."

Mois put her hand on his as she listened to him.

"I want to treat you like a princess, pride myself on how you chose me. Treat you like you're the best, like I treat myself. After all, if I have a big ego, loving you must mean you're amazing to me." He wanted to brag about her, to tell her how great she was, but he was much too shy when this stuff was real. "But I'm... so inexperienced. And I'm so unsure of myself. I may fake a lot of confidence, but I'm way too over-sensitive about too many things," he confessed. "And I'm afraid that if people who knew me knew we were dating, they'd show you all the reasons why you shouldn't be with me. Since there are a lot of them. So I wanted to stop that. I was so happy when you told me you loved me. I... I didn't want it to end." He looked sad now. "But I know when we tell people, it might. That there's a risk. Or at least, a paranoid part of me thinks there is.

"I don't know how to be anything but a jerk. They know that, I know that. But you're the only one who made me anything different. I don't want to be a jerk to you. You've made me all gross and nice, and although there's a lot of me that likes being nice to you, I don't want to show that side of myself to anyone else. If you understand. It's something only for you."

Mois nodded. "I understand your feelings. But to make this relationship work, we need to tell someone eventually," she said. "Do you want things to go on like this forever? Are we going to get engaged secretly? Married secretly? Have children secretly? That would just be weird."

Kululu paused. He decided not to mention that he didn't see any children in their future together. That would be a different conversation for much, much later, since he knew how much Mois loved kids.

"It wouldn't be that weird." He was stubborn and tried to stick to his point.

Mois shook her head, but she hugged him anyway. "Thank you for telling me about your insecurities. Please, next time just talk to me instead of saying that you're ashamed of our relationship."

Kululu nodded. He didn't think he was _totally_ out of the dog house, but he knew she had cheered up. She was just so nice and understanding like that.

"I love you, Kululu. No matter your insecurities. Okay?" She kissed his helmet.

It steamed up with a little bit of fog as he blushed. But he nodded and took her hand. "Let's go home."

He knew what she wanted. They had to stop the secret. He sighed.

He had something to tell his platoon when they got back.

* * *

To his surprise, though, Mois kept pretending that they weren't dating. She didn't tell anyone, acting perfectly unaffectionate and not loving to him at all in public. When nobody was looking she smiled at him, proudly, like she could do it.

Kululu frowned. She had been so sad and mad, he had assumed that she would insist that he tell everyone. But she was being supportive because of his insecurities.

He didn't deserve this, especially with how sad he had made her.

 _I have to be the one to end this,_ he realized. No way would Mois take the first step. He had to show her he was proud of having her as his girlfriend to truly cheer her up.

He had to just remember the TEC. How much he had bragged about her, how much he had wanted her by his side. She was really his girlfriend now; he just wasn't treating her right.

He would take the first step.

 _I'll do it tomorrow,_ he decided. And he'd make it extravagant. If he was going to put their relationship out there, he had to do it in style.

* * *

The next morning, he walked into the invasion room carrying roses and chocolates. He knew she liked sappy terrible cheesy things like that.

"Um... here." He pushed them forward.

She grinned, then blushed. "Oh! Uh... I can feed this to your new project..."

Kululu frowned and pulled her down into a kiss in front of everyone. He made sure to make it long and loving.

Dororo and Giroro gasped. Tamama was still looking at the candy enviously, not noticing the lip-lock in front of him.

"Mornin', sweetheart," he said. Mois's face turned completely red.

"Okay... who replaced Kululu with a robot?" asked Giroro.

Tamama finally clued in on things. He glared at Mois. "Not only should that candy be mine, but it's confirmed! You're a whore! What are you doing with him when you want to sink your claws in Mr. Sergeant?"

"I'm not a whore!" She also added, "I don't like Uncle."

"Oh." Tamama deflated.

"Why were you kissing?" Dororo asked.

"We're dating," Kululu said, like it had been obvious all along. "And we conned you all. We'd been dating this whole time, right under all your noses. You're all way surprised, aren't you?"

Keroro frowned. "Actually... I already knew."

Kululu gasped. "What? How?"

"Uhhh... just a hunch..." Keroro paled. "Umm... I saw yesterday that Mois doesn't have any stuff in her room! She was living with you. That's how I knew!"

"I moved back into my room recently, though," she said.

Keroro sweated. "Well, uhh... guess it was just intuition."

Kululu looked at him very suspiciously.

* * *

Really it had been at the love hotel. Keroro hadn't expected to run into anyone, and he hadn't really wanted to tell Mois and Kululu he had been there too. He had just barely seen their backs as they went into a room.

He sighed. "I just wanted to get to room service and ask why there wasn't any cola out of the faucets like we requested." He had been secretly dating Tamama for just a month now. After Mois had left on vacation, surprisingly the two of them had grown closer. And eventually stuff happened and they were dating. But because Keroro was his superior officer, they had agreed to keep it a secret. Tamama was cool with it - he went on and on about some dangerous love affair. Keroro was pretty confused about it, but he and Tamama had been pretty good at hiding their relationship.

At least... a lot better than Kululu and Mois were.

Tamama was sleeping soundly in their room, waiting for cola. He was such a demanding boyfriend. And Keroro had to go get it.

"I wonder what Mois's doing here with Kululu, though." Maybe they were planning something evil. He had to check up on them.

He couldn't open the door. It was locked, so he just carefully placed his ear against the door, listening in.

And he heard a very high-pitch moan of Kululu's name. Keroro paled.

"Oh? Would you like some more of that? Ku, ku, ku. Sorry but you're going to have to beg." A typical jerk.

Keroro just moved away.

"Best not be telling Tamama about this. I'm sure it would be better if he didn't know."

And ever since then, he had known Kululu and Mois were doing the nasty.

* * *

"It's nothing," Keroro denied. Kululu might have cracked on his secret relationship, but he sure wouldn't. He was better at hiding it than him. Nobody needed to know.

"Hahaha, you like her," Tamama teased. Giroro and Dororo were shocked. Kululu could like people?

"Yep. And I have data on every single one of your weak spots for all of you. Blackmail that you don't want getting to the military, your parents... Ku, ku, ku. One press of a button, and it's there," Kululu smiled. "So remember that before you try to tease me. Because I will not be your next Giroro. He's still pining after a disinterred Natsumi. But _I've_ got the girl of my nightmares!"

"Dreams, Kululu, it's dreams," Dororo corrected.

"Whatever," he scoffed.

Giroro just looked hurt. "I... well, uhh..." He couldn't defend himself.

"You got it. No teasing. Let's just shut up." Keroro was pretty eager to shut up. Tamama looked disappointed.

"Can I tease that woman?" Tamama asked.

Kululu frowned. "Nah. You'd be in for a world of hurt, Tamama."

Tamama's eyes widened. "NOOO! My enemy dating my enemy is actually my nightmare!" he realized. He had thought they'd be miserable together, but now he couldn't be mean to her anymore.

Mois giggled. "Are you sure about this, Kululu?"

He nodded. "There's no reason to be afraid. I'm totally owning them," he said. "After all that we went through... I don't even want to risk you losing you for a moment," he told her, stroking her hair.

Mois smiled.

"Love you," she told him.

"Love you, too." He kissed her again in front of everybody. Some of them looked disgusted. Dororo looked happy that they were happy.

After it all, all the toughness that they had dealt with, all the adventure of pretending to have feelings when they actually did, of pretending not to have feelings when they were in love, it was over.

And they could finally be comfortable with the truth for once around everyone and embrace it.

 _Who knew trying to con a bunch of guys from some dumb bet would actually get me a girlfriend. Ku. I guess that teaches me nothing about consequences. Ku, ku, ku. Cuz I was the jerk here and I won everything._ He had gotten everything he wanted and besides learning how to treat Mois better he hadn't learned anything about anybody else.

It was a pointless journey. But it was a rewarding one. And Kululu was happy.

A heartbeat never lied. It turned out he wasn't being poisoned by Mois. Instead he had been in love.

And for once, he could accept that. He could live with it without his life flashing before his eyes.

Mois smiled at him and a happy shiver went up his spine. He was so pleased to have her. _I'm the luckiest person alive._

From now on, he would make sure that none of their dates ended with ruining another date, unless they both agreed that it was the proper procedure.

His friend had become his girlfriend and he'd treasure her. And she'd treasure him. What mattered to both of them now was that they were together.

* * *

 **It's finally over! I hope you enjoyed.**

 **Please review.**


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